Love the Life you Live

The plan for the increase in DH's salary (while he has one) is:
1) $300 per pay period transferred to new secondary EF account
2) increased 401K contribution by 1&
3) Remainder going into extraneous funds

I just had to pay $168 for an Rx for dd's asthma maintenance med. I had it called into a pharmacy that was offering a $20 gift card for groceries.

I've decreased the amount spend per our parent's birthday and occasion gifts down to $15. I was happy to find a book that my mom wanted at the local indie bookstore for $14. I'll have the kids each make a book mark. Time to definitely get creative in that department.

I've been horribly lax and bad about the menu and meal planning since we got home almost two weeks ago. For all the money that I spent, there isn't a cohesive meal plan. Shame on me. Thankfully it is PB&J and carrot sticks for dinner. Also finishing up the random things in the fridge. I'm working on a simple plan for Fri-Thurs shopping at only Sam's Club and Aldi's. Goal: stay away from convenience foods, have a balanced menu.

We've all got summer colds, and I think I'm going down fast. I've got the chills that the 8 year old had yesterday (he had a 102 temp). I hope I can rebound by the 4th's festivities and this weekend we've been invited to our friends' house on Lake Michigan.

With the unexpected temporary windfall that came our way (in form of promotion and raise for DH), I have:

1) increased our 401K contribution by 1%
2) set up an auto transfer of $300 per pay period to a separate account

I needed to spend $168 on an Rx for DD (maintenance med for asthma). Our free samples were used up. I was able to get a $20 grocery card that I'll use to get us through to Friday's pay day.

My mom's birthday is coming up and she doesn't need/want much. At some point she said she's like a copy of one of her favorite books. I found it at the local indie bookseller for $5 less that on amazon, so I will spend just under $15. The price of what we spend per parent per occasion is dropping from $25 to $15. I imagine that I'll need to be creative and start regularly perusing clearance for off-season shopping.

Our frugal fun for the week has included: a trip to the library, a trip to the Arboretum and grandpa popped for 1/2 Price Shakes at Steak N Shake.

Today DH collects the rent and Friday is payday. The money plan is in place for the next two weeks, taking care of the mortgage + $27.03 additional principal, a $500 payment to the high school toward student fees, and a slightly reduced amount for living.

Looking forward to Friday when I do a shopping trip (though scaled back) to Sam's Club. I'm again reminded that shopping sales/coupons doesn't always lead to a comprehensive menu plan, which ultimately costs more money in the long run.

We are under a new pastor and parochial vicar at our parish. We've met both and there is something infectious about the enthusiasm of our new pastor, a native from Vietnam. We were on vacation the first two Sundays that the new pastor arrived. During our time away, the new pastor met with the present Deacon who wanted to know of anyone discerning a diaconate. He was very happy to hear of my husband (class of 2017) and looking forward to meeting him. Which happened after 5:00 Mass on Saturday. And our new pastor announced it publicly at a picnic yesterday, so the cat is out of the bag about my family's future. It was quite a comfort to know how supportive people are of this. And how it is a no-brainer that my husband is the one pursuing this.

I think the best part of it was we are assured that DH will replace the present full-time Deacon. So, future job? Check.

The salary will most likely be the same as we had heard. It will all be fine.

And the Ha-Ha of the day, DH interviewed for a promotion back in May. Didn't exactly pan out as he had hoped (moving from a Financial Analyst I up to III). However, he was offered a FA II position in the same department (they moved up the present II to the III - which I suppose is logical). He starts the new position on the 22nd and was given a 6% pay increase.

This is no way guarantees that he will have a job after details of the merger are revealed, but he is no longer a rogue analyst floating around the microcosm of his employer to be easily done away with. I feel like every month that he has a paycheck will bring added security to the long-term uncertain picture (though we at least know there is a job on the flipside. )

So, where is the best place to park the 6%?

Back in the budget saddle, tracking the spending. The reckless abandonment of sensibilities while on vacation has been replaced by the frugal mindset.

For the period of Friday, June 21st to Thursday, June 27th I budgeted the following:

Gas: $100
Groceries: $125
Miscellany: $25

Actual spending was:

Gas: $109.51 (Over by $9.51)
Groceries: $128.14 (Over by $3.14)
Miscellany: $25.84 (over by $.84)

So overages were about $13.50. The inlaws were here from Fri-Mon and then again Thurs-Fri, so I shopped a bit more than usual. I also feel that I didn't do too good of a job shopping the loss-leaders at Dominick's, having to do two smaller filler runs because I lacked a cohesive meal plan, and I was just plain old lazy after vacation. The Miscellany was a trip to Old Navy for some needed uniform items for the boys. My overall shopping included using $45 in gift cards ($20 for groceries and $25 at Old Navy) and coupon savings of $69 (this included $30 off the Old Navy purchase).

All in all, I am not un-pleased. I am remotely satisfied that the overages weren't worse. I'll continue to track the spending for this 6/28 to 7/4 and I think I'll be fine due to the way the trips to the gas station lined up and also the fact that I'm only frequenting Aldi's this week.

Onward we plod ...

Lots of "l"s in there for the alliteration lovers.

When I was growing up in a dysfunctional money life (lived with mom and stepdad who were struggling financially and having wealthy father who never paid regular child support), one residual scar that I have a very difficult time accepting money or gifts. That is because there always some sort of string attached to it "If you get your mother to drop the court from pursuing back child support, I will pay your college tuition." That was one of the bigger things I dealt with at 17, but the list is long.

Fast forward to today. Our parents (my money-manipulating biological father excluded) know of our short and long term goals, and how we are adjusting to living on less, and that we are trying to bank a bulk of DH's salary while we have it.

I am needing to learn to just smile and say "thank you". Things that our parents have given us to help out with life (in just the past week):

1) New lawn mower (our last two were hand-me-downers from DH's fraternal organization members, and while we were on vacation and my inlaws were here to take care of the pets, FIL mowed the lawn, or tried to, declared the machine crap, and went out to Walmart to buy a decent new one).
2) Fully stocked paper products (toilet paper/paper towels/liquid hand soap) also from MIL
3) 32 new drinking glasses also from MIL

And from my parents yesterday:
1) 3#s bananas
2) 24 count Danimal smoothies
3) Dole orange cups
4) Trader Joes fig bars

I bit my tongue when I was going to say "oh, you shouldn't have." If there was a simple reset button in my brain, it would be oh-so-much easier. I need to realize that the manipulative motives of one person don't always translate to ungenerous motives in others, right?

ETA: Learning to make the money work smarter, not harder has included me starting a list of things that I know that we need on a regular basis (like Allegra liquid allergy and razors) - On Tues, I was able to stack coupons at Target to get $11.50 razors for $6.50, and yesterday I was able to get Allegra at CVS on sale for $9.99 and I stacked $4 in coupons to get it for $6. The Allegra is still on sale $13.99 regular down to $9.99. I'll go back to today for another one using a $2 off coupon. Smarter, not harder is one of my new mottos.

I am officially into the "stretch my dollars until they scream" mode. I shared that with my husband and in-laws and they thought it was a funny phrase.

Prior to our vacation we were in need of some clothes so I headed over to Old Navy. At that point I was given a $30 off of $75 purchase. We're in no need for clothes for the summer, but when the kids head back to school I've got one son in a different uniform scheme (khaki-colored bottoms and navy blue polos shirts). I also had a $25 gift card from redeeming points on the credit card.

I managed to get one pair of khaki uniform shorts, one pair of khaki uniform pants, one pair navy blue uniform pants, two light blue polo shirts, and two navy blue polo shirts. I was $4 under the required $75 pre-tax, so I picked up a $4 sock monkey for someone's Christmas stocking. After the $30 coupon and the $25 gift card were applies, I spent $25.84. And I had allotted $25 for the trip.

Now moving on to frugal gift giving, our dear friend is getting married in November. I've checked my stitching patterns, polled the family as to which one was their favorite. I've got the fabric and will need to spend about $3.50 on floss. Again, I've stayed with a standard sized finish so I can get away with a premade 10 x 13 frame. I'll most likely pay the $15 to Hobby Lobby for assembly.

So, I'm happily embracing the frugal phase of life.

We arrived home from our trip on Thursday, 2 AM, followed by a 9:00 AM VBS start time for myself and the girls. My boys opted out. That day included the $23 wristband night at our local festival/carnival. It was dirty and loud and crowded and I'm not a fan of carnie workers (though I'm related to one). The kids did enjoy the time with their friends. So its been socialization and napping ever since then. My inlaws are still visiting, going home tomorrow, but my FIL's mom died yesterday. No big surprise as she was 96 and in a nursing home and in bad shape since April. I'm a crier, so that left me with a big headache. And allergies are bad. So I'm still yearning for "normal" when my house is my own and we're moved toward some sort of schedule.

Budgeted money for 6/21-6/29 (tenant now pays rent on 15th and 30th - $725 each time).

$80 for gas (both cars were on E)
$105 for groceries (had some things frozen and inlaws had some things on hand) - Spent $75, still have a $20 gift card and will do a trip to Sam's Club for yogurt/granola bars/milk and bananas)
$25 for misc. (I think this will most likely be BTS uniform clothes for the boys - at Old Navy I have a coupon for $30 off of $70 and I have a $25 gift card. If I'm careful I can do it)

Our inexpensive activities this week include: library, $1 movie, Arboretum, and pool.

Off to catch up on the blogs, hope everyone has a restful Sunday.

Been home for roughly 15 hours (arrived home at 1:15 AM, went to sleep at 3:30, woke up at 8 AM for Day 3 of VBS and have dealt with driving semi-crankly children to their activities. Did I mention my inlaws ran my home for 11 days (lots of pets) and things are clean but re-arranged?

I loved spending time with my grandmother. She is 93 and has settled into a happy little routine in CA. I had hoped that one day she'd come to IL, but not realize that probably won't happen. That is OK. I've gotten on a plane for the first time since 9/11 with all the kids and DH and managed to survived. Surprisingly, it was fairly easy. I will have to rethink travel, making visiting a priority. I don't think that my grandmother will be coming to IL again, either. She's using a walker more and is far more opinionated in the particulars of her daily life.

We did Disneyland and California Adventure for two days (gift from my uncle), we did a two day pass to San Diego and saw a navy ship, the San Diego Safari Park, and LEGOLAND. We also went to the Mission at San Juan Capistrano with my grandma (quite a beautiful place). We also went to Laguna Beach and Balboa Penninsula Park to see the Ocean. The kids swam at the pool at the hotel.

I squandered the following:
$100 for luggage ($25 a piece for two pieces/there and back)
$70 for a hotel in San Ysidro - I thought it was San Diego proper, but no - it's on the border. Not advised to be safe.

I lost track of the spending, but had a great time.

Tomorrow is the going away party at our parish for our pastor and associate pastor. Both have been wonderful leaders in our Catholic community and I wanted to give them each a nice gift to remember my family by. Being on a budget, I've had to be creative. I'm an avid cross-stitcher and had the time and supplies to put these two together. The red one was from a free online pattern, and cost $1.00 in Egyptian Red floss and $2.00 for the fabric. The cross was a pattern I already had and used floss from the previous time I stitched it. I again spent about $2.00 for the fabric. The frames were from my mom's stash. I framed the cross myself, but paid $12 at Hobby Lobby for the Christ to be framed. I bought the wrapping paper at Dollar Tree and used thank you cards I had on hand. All in all, I am very pleased with the end product, especially given how much I could have spent.

11-Day trip to California begins Monday, returning the following Thursday.

$2,800 - round trip air fair from ORD to LAX for seven, 11-day car rental of mini van
$630 - 2 day Go San Diego cards for seven
$130 - hotel in San Diego

My uncle covered the cost of two-day passes to Disneyland. My inlaws covered the cost of a limo to/from air port. My inlaws are also staying at our home to take care of our menagerie.

I am so looking forward to this trip. It's been two years since any major travel took place. My first time on a plane since 9/11, and the first time ever for my kids.

On FB I posted the "It Never Rains in CA" video!

Younger daughter graduated 8th grade yesterday. It was a beautiful Mass. We had family and a friend over afterwards. We spent $76 for a dinner and ice cream cake from Dairy Queen (her favorite). We gave her a backpack from PINK that she has wanted (used a $10 off coupon, spending $35) and will start her with a Brighton bracelet (more affordable than Pandora).

We are so proud of her.



On to high school!

I posted yesterday on FB that I am happy for new beginnings. My younger daughter is Graduating 8th Grade this Saturday at 7:00. She'll be joining her sister who is 12.5 months older at high school and is so excited about it. They're doing a Lacrosse camp this summer and can be on the Frosh/Soph team next year. Her friend will also be attending the same school (this is the daughter of the crazy woman I had issues with last year and did a character assassination of my child). Daughter's friend was over last night and said seriously, "Mrs. M, I've missed you guys a lot. I've also really missed your chili. Do you think you can make me some this summer?" I'm glad that maybe my family has made a lasting positive impression on this girl, given I seriously wonder what her homelife is like.

My stepdad is retired after 21 years of teaching physics. He's 60 and ready to embrace the next phase of life. My close friend just got engaged on Monday. I am so happy for him and this is the first marriage for both of them.

New beginnings! I love them. Every year at the Graduation Cap and Gown Mass, at least one girl faints. Yesterday it was mine. I am thankful for the doctor/parent who helped with her and that she rebounded quickly after getting off the polyester robe and cap.

Money is on autopilot. Only paying minimums and watching the spending. The kids are used to me saying "Vacation is now twelve days away." Minimums on credit cards which are bothering me. I need to get rid of those once we get home from vacation.

Off to catch up on the blogs.

This fall I will have a sophomore and freshman at my alma mater, a small parochial high school in the suburbs of Chicago. I've been waiting on financial aid since we've learned about scholarships for both girls.

Total Tuition for both:

$20,000
-$3,000 (older daughter's scholarship)
-$5,000 (younger daughter's scholarship)
-$2,000 (grant from our Diocese)
-$3,000 (financial aid from school)
-$1,000 ($600 discount and $400 deposit)
-$3,000 (reimbursement from my grandma for trip)

$3,000 remaining -

This makes budgeting and planning for the next year much, much easier.

Big sigh of relief ...

Time is flying very fast, and summer officially starts for older daughter at 10:15 with her last final. The rest follow next Thursday.

Spending-wise, we're doing good. Buying only what is needed, saving money for vacation. We leave 6/10 and come back 6/21. I'm making various lists of things to buy, things to pack, etc.

Tomorrow is the Scholarship Mass for older daughter who renewed last year's scholarship. I'm so proud of her. Her GPA is 4.2/4.0 with her honors classes. She is taking AP World History and will be getting college credit for it.

Younger daughter is still getting positive attention for her scholarship ($5K/year for each year of high school for a total of $20K). We were also notified that both girls have grants of $1K each for tuition next year from our Diocese, so tuition should be manageable.

We officially own oldest son's trumpet, saving us $24 a month.

I redeemed points for a $25 Old Navy gift card to be used for school uniforms in the Fall.

Our YMCA membership scholarship was approved and will save us $16 a month, dropping to $57.

I'm still using the Y at least four times a week and am still watching what I'm eating. I was able to fit into my skinny workout clothes from four years ago. So saved some money there.

We opted out of basketball camp the first week of vacation, saving $150 ($50 x 3). My boys were fine with that, opting to sleep in and then go to the pool.

We've got an offer to spend a weekend with our friends who have a house on Lake Michigan. They don't seem to mind our large family (they're polite and quiet) and they have one child. This is my counterpart for Cub Scouts. I'm being much better dealing with difficult people.

I'm emerging as a team player. I've liked to lurk behind the scenes, but I am now on the Parish Advisory Board with mostly men. I'm the only mother of school-aged children on it, and I find it interesting that people are interested in my perspective. I'm diplomatic and am getting used to speaking in largish groups. Our Pastor and Associate Pastor have been reassigned and our new leadership begins on 6/10 with a Pastor from Vietnam and a Parochial Vicar from Poland. Should be very interesting!

All for now. Off to catch up on the blogs.

Our weekend is looking lovely (and low-key, facing a major ten-day vacation in less than one month). The weather is on the cool side, and to celebrate, we'll be going to noon Mass tomorrow and then to my mom's for a cook out. I picked up a Tiramisu cake at the $5 Friday Sales at Dominick's/Safeway.

This morning my oldest son and DH are mowing the lawn at the Legion Hall with their Boy Scout Team. The AL pays each Scout $10/hour which goes into their "account" to fund future outings. I like that concept immensely - definitely teaches the value of hardwork outside of the home.

There is also a 3:00 soccer game. I'm finding that I really like those, and I've managed to catch a great picture at each game so far.

Then we've got a gift certificate to the premium ice cream place in town to celebrate younger daughter's scholarship. If we weren't going on vacation, it would probably merit a dinner out. But anyhow, we're celebrating her accomplishment with love and admiration.

So, to all the moms, grandmoms, stepmoms, and those who love with a mother's heart, I wish you all a wonderful day. Happy Mother's Day!!

OK, we're still riding high on the wave of "good news"; if you missed the post, younger daughter was the recipient of a $20K scholarship for highschool ($5K per year). There were over 190 applicants, with only 25 scholarships awarded. I thought she had a really good shot, given her sister was #26 last year (but ultimately got a different scholarship that she was able renew for this year). So, we're still an awfully happy bunch.

And we're off on vacation one month from today (June 10). We're going to Southern California (Laguna Beach) to visit my grandma who is 93 and decided she's rather come to the Midwest for the holidays. She covers the cost of airfare and car rental (which was $2,700 for round trip air for seven and rental of a minivan for ten days). We're doing three days in San Diego and plan on seeing LEGOLAND, Sea World, and San Diego Zoo and Safari. We saved the Christmas check from my biological father to do one day at Disneyland. I think most of all we're really looking forward to doing the beach and eating Mexican food at an open air restaurant ...

Today is payday. I'm stretching the budget to save for vacation and the spending for the next two weeks looks like this:

$185 for gas/groceries (5/10 - 5/16)
$185 for gas/groceries (5/17 - 5/23)
$70 extraneous (dog groomer, flat of flowers, new light fixture for front porch - using coupons and sales for these purchases).

I've given up carbs and have taken to going to the y - out of the past nine days, I've been to the Y seven of them and have logged 13.5 miles. I've learned that I like the elliptical a lot better than the treadmill, and I wore one of my "skinny dresses" yesterday. People are noticing that I'm losing weight, which is nice. I'm sleeping better with no insomnia and I'm sleeping from about 9:30 to 6:00 with no problems. All in all, I'm glad that I got up off that couch! I may be able to say good-bye to 8s.

I like that in this little corner of the cyber-world, there is no stigma that I feel saying that I am a devout Catholic by most standards (aside from the foray to the tattoo parlor with my seventh grader and other less traditional things like that).

I posted earlier asking for prayers and positive thoughts for DH's job promotion. We were a bit conflicted about this move for him, given it doesn't exactly align 100% with our personal goals for him pursuing a diaconate more part-time than less part-time. But it meant a larger salary that we were planning on banking, or applying to mostly defray the cost of parochial school tuition at the high school level.

Our older daughter has been the recipient of a scholarship last year which cut her tuition in half. She renewed the scholarship this year, based on her service record and grades (4.2 GPA thanks to honors classes).

Our younger daughter was waiting to hear about a different scholarship. This is $20K for four-years and the family gives 25 annually. Last year our older daughter was 26 and is on a wait list. Younger daughter is stronger spiritually and academically. we were supposed to find out on May 15th whether or not she is a recipient.

Today a large envelope came in the mail. Last year was a small envelope. And younger daughter is one of 25 Scholars out of a pool of 190 strong and qualified applicants.

The lesson: Thinking that you are in control of a situation is pretty funny. Let go and let God.

Today at 1:00 DH has an interview for a new job within the same company, just a different department and it is a Financial Analyst III position, up from the present I he is working.

This would mean a minimum of $8.5-$12 K more, and a much more peaceful environment for DH to be in. He has been really stressed lately splitting his time between two "bosses" (though he really only reports to one of them). The person who left the position recommended him for it, as did the other key players work on the team. It would also get him out of an area that truly isn't vital to the company and put him in an critical department for forecasting and budgets, at least throughout the merger/acquisition.

This really comes at a time when we are hemorrhaging money - not all bad (but just spent $2,700 on roundtrip air and car rental for ten days in June to visit my grandma), and some other unexpected expenses.

I would appreciate any prayers or positive thoughts you could send.

Well, I think we skipped Spring, and Summer is here. The temp last night in the house was 82, which made for semi-cranky bed-goers. We had to bring up fans and find cool cotton sheets (versus jersey knit sheets). Woke up to a nice 76 degrees. I am hoping for cooler weather today.

I found out that my ex-stepmother (who was always nice and kind to me) is in hospice with her daughter who lives in a town just over the Illinois-Wisconsin border. I'm going to make a visit by myself. I'm not sure what to say or do or bring, but I am following my heart to do this. Unlike my brother, I have no ill-will toward this woman, and personally I hope she had some happiness after she left my biological father.

I also have a great-aunt who doesn't have long left after a recent diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. She wasn't well enough for a visit earlier in the month, but I sent a plant and a note. My mother got the thank you note that said she always loved me and my family, how sweet we are and that she will remember us fondly.

My faith life is certainly a gift to me today. And while I am so sad, I am happy for their time and gifts to me.

Money-wise: extraneous spending is creeping up: $50 for 8th graders trip to Great America, $24 for class pictures of the Communicant with the other 2nd graders, $20 for class T-shirts for the boys for the VIP Show and Field Day. $190 for summer golf for oldest son. We will also most likely need a new lawn-mower. I paid cash for everything and have $100 toward the new mower purchase.

Goal for May: $1,750 to go toward property taxes on primary residence. Minimum payments on all else.

Happy news:

(1) Older daughter was able to renew her $3,000 scholarship for the upcoming year. She had glowing letters of recommendation from the principal and pastor, a strong service record, and a 4.2 GPA. So proud of her.

* We will find out on or around 5/15 about the scholarship for younger daughter. It is a completely different scholarship.

(2) Our dear friend who is a singleton has met *the* one, and it appears that she feels the same way about him. He is 39 and had planned on being a priest, but it didn't exactly work out that way. He has asked me to go shopping with him for engagement rings. While I adore my own love story, I like other people's too. The flip-side of this is my best friend didn't handle the news very well. She finds other friend weird/geeky/nerdy Catholic guy and he has found love twice. BF's most recent relationship ended abruptly and badly two weeks ago (read as: he slept with her the first time on Friday, then dumped her via text the following Wed. - and I've tried to be supportive, but oh the drama is so highschoolish).

(3) At Goodwill, I spent $10 and purchased oldest son three navy blue polo shirts (like new, and one with the Polo thingy) for his uniform next year. In 6th grade, they graduate to blue on top/khaki on the bottom. And youngest son's knee went through his pants on Monday and today is summer uniform so he was able to wear uniform shorts. I put him in a pair of his brother's pants, so I didn't have to run out and buy a replacement pair.

That is it.

Today it is sunny, the festivities of a wonderful weekend are over, and I am just happy.

(1) My son's First Communion was as wonderful. He *gets it* as far as what the Sacrament means, which is priceless for us parents. The Mass was wonderful, our favorite priest is the pastor who is departing for a sabbatical and new parish, but the Homily was wonderful. My oldest son was altar serving. Just one of those wonderful experiences to imprint on my heart.

(2) Afterward we celebrated out to dinner at Buca di Bepos, bill for my seven plus additional seven adult guests: $221 (food was $186, tip $35 - used a $10 off coupon). It was family style and we brought home a small amount of leftovers. We had great conversation and the personalities of the guests all melded rather than grated on one another. Our adults included two sets of grandparents, and then three un-marrieds: my brother, my best friend who is the Godmother, and our other dear single friend.

(3) Money-wise, we are on lockdown. Only gas and groceries for the next short-while. The funds were earmarked for the Communion dinner out and the framed sampler, but there were other things like a new belt for a daughter, new shoes for me, some odd items for a school project, etc.

(4) Soccer season has started. I spent all afternoon at two games. It is lucky I am starting to like soccer. And that my son made the first goal of the first game of the season.

(5) Need some concrete goals for May.

Other than that, I am just happy.

(1) DD's summer reading includes "Speak" and "Lord of the Flies". She let me know both were available for purchase through the teacher for $13 per book. Thankfully I peruse the book shelves at the local resale stores and just last week I found "Speak". I went back yesterday and purchased it for $.50. Savings of $12.50. And I'm sure I'll be able to find "Lord of the Flies" similarly priced.

(2) I finished DS's Communion Sampler yesterday. I stitched it on 16-count and it is a Celtic cross. (My boys seem to like those). My pre-purchased frames from Michael's wouldn't work at a local framer because they weren't wood, they weren't deep enough to include a matt and spacers and glass. Thankfully, my son was a little sad and said, "I won't have it by Saturday?" And he's a cute little blonde kid in a Catholic school uniform at this point. The older woman said to him, "Well, I bet we can put something together that is very nice for you by Saturday." The matt that he liked (a forest green fabric) they had in stock. The husband found an in-stock gold frame and it will look far nicer than anything I could have managed from Michaels. The frame was on sale and they discounted it 20%. I'm still looking at $118 out the door (I had planned on $60 with no matt); however, he was able to pick something he liked. And he'll have it by Saturday. I'm counting this one as a win anyhow (because the money is definitely worth it).

3) Best friend and I sat down last week and went over what her budget should look like based on percentages. I gave her a Dave Ramsey book and she saw the lawyer yesterday to move on the bankruptcy filing. The interesting thing is she needs to attend a Dave Ramsey TMMO class after the first meeting. Sort of to make her aware and educate her. I thought that was interesting. And she attends at no cost. And she has the book to pre-read up on.

Hard to believe that May is just around the corner ... and April is almost gone. We've had my daughter's Confirmation (lovely event) and then I coordinated the CCW's Mother-Daughter Luncheon (I did this because my daughter is a recipient of a scholarship from this organization, and I didn't fully embrace the whole event). But is was a nice event, with 43 in attendance and I had too much food, rather than too little. And I was under budget by $30 (goal of event: to break even). I was totally appreciated and got compliments for the décor and menu. I repurposed some floral garlands I use at home to decorate the dessert table, and I borrowed the BALL jars used for the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Dinner for centerpieces and favors were seed packs purchased for $.25 at Dollar Tree.

All that remains is my son's First Communion this Saturday at 5:00 PM Mass. He's wearing older son's suit. We did buy him a new tie, shirt and shoes. We are going to dinner afterward with grandparents, uncle, godmother, close family friend in the "Pope Room" (we are Catholics with a sense of humor and don't consider this sacrilege). Afterwards, it is back home for cake and coffee. I opted out of the big party the day after with relatives we don't see often and usually only invite out of obligation. I finished the cross stitch sampler and need to get it to the framer today (using a premade frame, they are only cutting a mat and assembling).

Financially for April:
1) Made May's house payment plus $250 additional principle
2) Sent $200 to DH's fraternal order's annuity
3) Sent $2,000 to property tax account
4) Paid cash for DD's eye dr appointment (her Rx changed and she was having head aches) and 6 months worth of lenses
5) Only made minimum payments on the credit cards (will get that up for May)
6) Paid cash for a new gas grill at Aldi's for $154. DH seems impressed with the quality and there is a 2-year warranty

Off to catch up on the blogs.

Clothing myself stylishly and new clothes is usually an after thought. I think about it when I am at an event and seeing what other people are wearing. I sort of feel that I usually get *it* wrong when it comes to fashion. For example, last week at my daughter's Confirmation, both girls were the focus - the Confirmandi wore a red robe, so it was really the older daughter (sponsor) that we focused on. I myself wore a brown/pink striped sweater dress from Old Navy purchased in November for $19. And the brown leather-like boots (same ON shopping trip) clearance for $27. Brown tights were Walmart for $4. Purse was a pink Dooney and Bourke barrel bag that my mom bought for me for $25 at the resale shop. I was feeling pretty darn cute, until I looked at the other stylish folks with fancy shoes and jewelry, etc. My only thought to myself was "I am clearly the mother of a lot of children. And my husband works. And I don't ... (etc)."

I shopped today for something nice for the Communion in two weeks and then younger daughter's 8th Grade Graduation. I did this mostly because I am now a solid size 6, without panty girdle, and the clothes that I have that are sort of dressy and summery are for a size 9 body (somewhere between 8 and 10). Well, I've gotten off of my butt and am being active. And I'm eating a whole lot better. And drinking more water. And I have lost some weight.

I had a $100 bill from my grandmother that I was saving. Today I bought a very cute dress in a spring color (coral) and a flattering cut on sale for $40 (originally $80). And a fun dress, that my best friend said resembles a tablecloth as it is while lace. But it fits, too, and is flattering. And it was $100 reduced down to $26. I was very happy with both purchases, comfortable and feeling a bit current. More like "Gee, I'm on a date with my hubby" rather than frump-a-dump mum.

I think I'll use the surplus on a pair of new shoes. Payless of course. I shopped at Von Maur (upscale for my area) and while the shoes are awfully cute, I cannot justify anything more than $30 on a pair of shoes.

Well, I spent money on myself today. And I'm experiencing no regrets at all.

Firstly, thanks to those who responded kindly to my previous post (the one where I felt a bit bad about the gift of a frame for Confirmation while my daughter's peers were getting diamond jewelry - earrings and crosses). I am back in the saddle about life being more than trinkets and doo-dads. I know that, but every once in awhile the jealous/envy/desire to keep up with the Joneses sneaks in and catches me off guard. This instance being one of them. And my daughter never uttered anything of discontent about the gifts she received, indicating to me that the problem is clearly MINE and not hers.

I am reminded that we had a great weekend as a family. We hosted the Luncheon on Saturday and enjoyed extended family (grandparents, uncle, my best friend). The weather was lovely on Sunday and we went for a three mile walk in a local forest preserve's river walk type thing. We also played Scrabble with the boys who usually like to play Chess. It was great fun. We also stopped at the library and took out a bunch of books. The oldest is now a Boy Scout and he's looking at some merit badge books to see which he would like to pursue. Outside of the celebration, we spent absolutely nothing. I do need to remind myself that money doesn't buy happiness. And money really doesn't have to do much with creating simple family quality time.

My best friend whom I have maintained a safe amount of distance from for the past several months is back with regularity. It's been recalibrated though to "normal". We'll talk once or twice a week and I finally feel like its a two-way street conversation-wise. She is a never-ending drama of men and money problems. She won't change. The only thing I could do is change the way I'm dealing with her. It has helped that my social circle is slowly expanding to include some new friends whom I've always considered "nice acquaintances" who I'm socializing with (breakfast after Mass, play dates with kids while grown ups visit).

Best friend is meeting with the bankruptcy attorney on Thursday. I said nothing when she said she was going to be late with her mortgage payment so she could pay the attorney the $900 (I'm sharing it here). She is coming over today with her bank statements to determine her spending. And I'm helping her in the sense that I'm showing her what the book DH and I used when we went through our financial seminar a few years ago suggests what % should be spent in each category based on "x" budget. What I spend isn't going to even be discussed. I'm simply sharing with her what we learned in our class. I did give her the "Dave Ramsey Total Money Make-over" book on Saturday at the Confirmation Luncheon. She said she read the first chapter (not that I know what it is about).

So, I am hoping that I can be helpful in a general sense. She wanted to get together before-hand so I think she isn't completely caught off guard by what the attorney suggests should be her spending amounts. She's doing the bankruptcy that has to do with debt restructuring and payment for five-seven years.

It will be interesting.

When unpleasantries arise, I can sometimes cast myself back to pleasant memories, times with enjoyable elements. Before kids, I travelled to Europe regularly with my husband, brother, and then sister in law. I love London. I didn't even mind the sweltering tube stops when the entire country could have used air conditioning. "Mind the gap ... mind the gap." My only pleasant associations with "gap".

Back to reality, we are financially at that spot where we have exhausted all corporate-funded HSA money. This was attributable to the DH's tonsillar abscess and multiple visits in Quarter One for the kids. So, we are now at that gap ... when we are fiscally responsible for the deductibles of $2,500 per person. *sigh* In calendar year 2011, our funds were exhausted in October. In 2012, we carried over $50. So I suppose this is the risk one takes when one has the HDHP.

Daughter's maintenance med options for her asthma were $165 or $187. I called the pediatrician's office asking for coupons. Better yet, they gave me two months worth of samples, or a savings of $353. For this I am immensely thankful.

I managed to host my daughter's Confirmation Luncheon on Saturday at an affordable rate taking advantage of $5 Fridays at Dominicks/Albertsons. I did a deli spread and for $15 I had an assortment of lunch meats and cheeses. We made the cake ourselves and I found the paper products (bright florals) on clearance for $.89 at Aldi's after Easter. It was a nice soiree and she received cash for her savings account and an iTunes card. I felt a bid bad when most of her friends were going on about jewelry with diamonds. We gave her a frame. Sometimes the lack of funds makes it not fun.

5th grader's vocabulary word required to be in a sentence:

My mother is very economical when it comes to money and spending.

Definition: careful about spending money and using resources.

Synonyms: thrifty, frugal, saving, non-wasteful, my mother

Hard to believe that it is Q2 already! I had great success in Jan/Feb, but got a bit side-tracked in March with the new carpeting that went in. It was over what I had budgeted and had to go into the EF. BTW, loving the new carpet, with everyone in their new rooms and beds (bunk beds for the boys).

It was a quiet Easter with both my brother and best friend out of town. The inlaws didn't come in, so it was just my parents. I didn't bother with a full menu and we didn't use china, but we attended the Easter Vigil on Saturday evening, slept in on Sunday and watched "The Easter Parade". I spend about $30 per child (though I used gift cards/coupons/Target Red card 5% so it was less than that). We do try to make the baskets fun with things that they want, since Christmas and birthdays are usually the only other times for indulging wants).

I've decided to take the month of April "off", making only minimum payments on things (braces and 0% credit card debt). I also am recovering from Boy Scout Camp for oldest son. We had a spell where he wasn't sure about continuing, so if he didn't go that was money I wouldn't have to spend. But he is continuing, so I spent the $560 for a week of camp in northern Wisconsin for him and DH.

My goal for Q2: Have $5K by June end for either taxes or tuition. We won't find out about scholarship and work study dollar amounts for the girls until April 30 and May 15. Also waiting on grant amounts and financial aid. So until then, I suppose I'll bank whatever funds "for future use".

Off to catch up on the blogs.

I went to the funeral of my aunt today. In my last post I mentioned that she is the estranged sister of my father who I happen to be emotionally divorced from (of my own will, and while I haven't seen him in three years, I have spoken to him several times by phone). A cousin from a different deceased aunt came into town for the funeral. We had a very nice get together on Sunday night and I was reminded that before all of this stuff in the present, we were at some point a normal family. We went to the zoo and amusement parks, spent time at our grandparents' summer house, went to Bozos Circus, etc. It made me very nostalgic and it then didn't feel right that I wasn't going to go, to be with my cousins who were grieving the loss of their mom, who I did have fond memories of. I skipped the wake, fearing too much intimacy, or not quite being sure of how I would be regarded. I went to the funeral with my children, and I am glad that I did. I was able to say I was sorry about the loss, and I had a very embarrassing sobbing moment with my uncle and oldest cousin who I hadn't spoken to since hearing of the loss. I'm a loud crier, who in turn caused my children to cry. No words were needed.

Then I took my kids to the Seminary at Mundelein which happened to be a few miles down the street. Here are some pictures that took my breath away. More than money, life is.

The carpeting went in yesterday, in the four bedrooms that it is. I was having some major claustrophobia with the contents of all of those rooms in the living room and the dining room (insert hyperventilation sounds here). The kids have switched rooms. The cost for painting and supplies for three bedrooms (girls/boys/guest) was about $160 (that was a five gallon bucket, rollers, liners, edger refills). The kids' rooms each have an accent wall, free courtesy of an offer at Ace last Saturday. I also spent an additional $100 at Walmart for four panels of room darkening curtains, and two accent carpets to tie into the accent walls.

The carpeting itself was at the high end of my estimated range. I took the funds from the EF. Well worth it, and I'm not looking back. Old me would have berated myself for not having the full amount liquid, but life is too short for such nonsense.

Spent the greater part of today moving into the rooms and purging further yet. I'm doing this without Dh and oldest son who are off on a Boy Scout outing.

It *is* looking better. And it is ALL ORGANIZED.

Oh, it is one of those days. Second day with a sick child who doesn't have strep throat but feels like it, and if this is the virus the doctor predicts, it could be a full five days before he's feeling better.

Finances: nothing major is going on. Our spending is in line for the "contained" category. Finally tonight the carpet people are coming for us to look/buy/order. The bedrooms are empty and painted and all of the stuff is in the living/dining room (although contained and organized), I'm feeling "squeezed". We've already parted with lots, but I think a lot more can "go". So looking forward to a normal house with new carpeting.

My aunt died yesterday. This is from the branch of the family that I've essentially divorced myself from. My biological father himself brings drama and chaos, and it has been a blissful going-on-four-years that DH hasn't worked for him and biological father has held a grudge. No more crazy tenants or his crazy girlfriend. Or crazy him. So it was his older sister. Sad that they were the last surviving members of the family. I have fond memories of my aunt growing up, she was always nice to me. Later on, it got bitter when people were fighting over my grandma's things.

But I did post a picture from 1929 of my grandma and tagged my aunt. I did hear from her (my aunt) ten days ago and she said she liked the picture, thanked me for sharing, said it was really a Confirmation picture and not a Communion picture, and she wished me well. And she died of a heart attack yesterday while visiting my cousin who just had baby number three.

Again, I'm feeling that money doesn't really much matter in the long run. I think about how sad it would be if my children grew up to fight and be alienated. Sure, they bicker a lot lately since the time change, but they are "thicker than thieves" as someone recently said. My younger daughter stated she would wait until my older daughter reached the age of majority to be her Confirmation Sponsor (though the Pastor and Bishop granted a dispensation of Canon Law so that younger daughter won't need to wait). And they look out for one another, younger daughter is still quite the Mother Hen to her younger sibs as school.

I don't imagine that I'd fight with my brother given an inequitable distribution of inheritance. I've moved to place where I'm not counting on anyone's money to take care of me. Anything that comes my way is a blessing, not a right. There cannot be drama if one doesn't create it.

Slump