Love the Life you Live

It's "money in, money out" day here, and the benefits of a well-laid plan are you know exactly what goes where and when. The budget is pretty much set in stone for the next three months and I'm working on the "extraneous funds account" now.

Our spending for the last period (1/4-1/17) looked like this:
$60 basketball class for Y, $50 refunded
$150 balance for DH's gym/work out/training (Jan-Mar, already paid $100 in December)
$50 for 8th grader's ski trip
$30 for 8th grader's test fee for high school
$60 for ticket to 9th graders Father Daughter Dance

This go around it appears it will be
$28 for ticket to 8th Graders Father Daughter Dance
$35 for annual dues for DH's fraternal organization
$56 for 8th grader's dance class

Small extraneous expenses from Living Expenses Account will be oil change ($18 after coupon), new soccer ball because Club Evals are next week for the boys.

I spent $72 on groceries today to round out yesterday's $68 trip (covered by gift cards). Put $50 in gas.

So in the money category, I'm bored. In real life, I'm tired. Yesterday wiped me out, especially after the urgent care doctor said it was highly unlikely that DH had an abscess on the tonsils, and he'd have to do blood work and a CT because it was suspicious. Glad it turned out to be totally negligible in the scheme of worrisome medical conditions, but today I'm feeling an emotional toll taken. The only upside to the whole event is DH and I were able to spend quality time together, albeit in medical establishments. Reminds me how lucky I am to share my life with a man who shares the same vision for our future. The singles in my life are all looking for love and not finding it, or settling for OK situations.

Deciding how to spend out extra money $725 this period, the braces and tuition payments are current and I might throw some extra onto the next mortgage 2/1 and maybe make additional payments on both braces ($203 monthly with a balance of $2,820, and balance of tuition for elementary school kids is $556 which we pay $150 a month.) An additional $433.57 will bring us to an even $257,000 owed on the mortgage.

Oh, well. All for now.

That's what DH has. He's had a sore throat off and on, but no temperature. After several days of misery and nights of interrupted sleep, we went to the "Take Five Clinic" at Walgreens. After 1.5 hours there, we were sent to the Urgent Care associated with the local hospital. This was because the peritonsillar abscess needed to be further evaluated. After 3.5 hours at the urgent care and a CT scan and bloodwork, it was confirmed that it was indeed a peritonsillar abscess (to the surprise of the old doctor who said it most likely wasn't because of no fever, and of course started the rule out talk). So from there, DH went to the ENT and was placed on heavy duty steroids for the next 5 days and an antibiotic for 10.

We have a very quiet house right now with DH recuperating. Thank goodness my girls are old enough to deal with dinner and homework of the younger ones. This yielded me another $25 gift card for groceries.

Spent at grocery store: $67 (covered in totality by gift cards). I also made $25 walking my mom's dogs.

Hard to believe that January is half-over already. Friday is pay day and rent pick up, so with two NSDs (today and tomorrow) I'm confident about my report:

1) Biggest accomplishment was sending $500 additional principle to the mortgage.

2) Second biggest accomplishment was accumulating $500 for the car repair that didn't need to happen

3) The utilities category was a bit low because of the way the payment due dates fell, moved over $50 to the utilities category for next go-around

4) Did a decent job on groceries and gas categories ($195.54 on "living" - groceries, household, pet, and $135.09 on gas). Shopped at Aldi's and refrained from coupon/ad scanning.

5) I paid for the small extraneous expenses from the living expenses account: $15 for science class, $14 for field trip, $11 for haircut, $5 for art supplies). The Miscellaneous expenses were for the Pinewood Derby cars for Cub Scouts and the 8th graders science fair project board.

6) No credit card usage of any kind.

7) Transferred two Rxs for daughter and got $50 gift cards which I managed not to spend and will carry over for the next period 1/18-1/31 of the budget.

8) I made $15 being a dog walker, and will make another $30 tomorrow. The $ tomorrow will go to "feed the pig" - we have a ceramic piggy bank on the counter that people are "feeding" for our monthly family outing. (This is something new for 2013)

9) Organizationally speaking: gave one bag of hand-me-downs to my friend, returned stash of surplus T-shirts to church for VBS.

10) Also in an effort to economize and simplify our lives: daughters have dropped to one 1.5 hours of dance a week (saving $100 a month) and when we found out that soccer evals are next week, 2nd grader decided not to play basketball with the YMCA (since this was first go-around he was placed with 2nd grade girls and 1st grade boys, so no socialization with friends) which garnered me a $55 refund going back to the big extraneous fund. Definitely realizing in this large family we can't do it all, but everyone can do something.

11) Also this is the first pay period where we are at 11% in the 401K. Barely feeling the tightening of the budget due to better planning and full-funded budget categories.

So I consider it a success.

picking up two RXs for daughter and getting 2 -$25 gift cards to Jewel. That will definitely breathe a bit of life into the almost dead grocery budget. This week we're eating from the freezer: meat loaf, chili, and some chicken veggie stirfry. We do go through a lot of milk/bread/eggs at my house.

I skipped the ads and coupons again this week. My mom is saving her coupons for me. I'm already starting my grocery shopping list for Sam's Club for next Friday. I'll have to work that in for at least a biweekly trip; my picky eater likes Fiber One bars and Danimals, at least I'm assured that he's getting calcium and fiber.

Spent money on miscellaneous craft items for the science fair board. Unused stuff goes back tomorrow so I'll have an accurate amount spent - I think about $8 after using a $9 store credit. DH and sons spent $5 on something for the Pinewood Derby coming up in two weeks.

I'm catching the cold from the residual germs living here. I didn't sleep well, have the sinus head-ache and my dog won't stop barking. My Irish dancing girls are having a treble jig dance off in their bedroom and I'm too lazy to move to tell them to stop. I'll just sit here and wait for my aspirin to work and be thankful that the boys are gone for the afternoon.

I'm imposing a 9:00 PM bedtime the remainder of the weekend. My less-than-well-rested children have succumbed to bad behavior and I had my second consecutive day with a tantrum. Ugh, I don't think I could take it if it was a regular occurrence in my house.

I walked my mom's dogs yesterday and she upped the pay from $10 to $15. I also got a free breakfast with the new committee chair for cub scouts. I really want to simply be the Treasurer, but I'm in some sort of pseudo-management position. Anyhow, it was long and unproductive breakfast with a man who I will have to be dealing with for the next three years. Someone who feels the need to be helpful all the time and fix problems with my family that don't need to be fixed (i.e., offering his wife's seamstress skills to alter my daughter's homecoming dress after I told my daughter to only buy a dress that fits her; AND trying to get my 2nd grade son on a basketball team at the YMCA when really I want is a refund of the fee). And I should add that both of these "attempts to fix" came from simply overhearing private conversations I had with my DH when we were sort of passing in the night updating one another on "stuff" at either soccer games or scouting events.

My resolution at the top of my list was to not complain or say anything bad about anyone in a gossipy way. I found myself at a loss for words and went dumbingly silent on three occasions in the past two days. Still not sure what the proper protocol is for not engaging in nasty talk. Not that I was that nasty and most of what I do say I'd be willing to share in person with an individual. But, still ...

So yesterday I made $15 and got a free breakfast.

Today is pretty much a NSD and I have $45 left til Friday for groceries. Thankfully we're still pretty full in the cabinets. I'll be passing on the Sunday paper coupons and ads again this weekend, as I'm still buying only what we need.

I think the aspirin is starting to work, maybe. I think I'll go take a nap.

And NGG, if you read this, I hope that things are going well with you!

For the past several years, my household hasn't exactly been on the cutting edge of technology of any sort I have a tracfone, as do my daughters. No cellular phone plans for us. We were using two refurbished computers that my stepdad bought from his school's computer lab a few years back. One of them died two months ago. It died with the only version of my 8th graders's science fair research paper on it. I retyped it onto the second computer (only marginally newer). It, too, died today. Thankfully I forwarded all the files as attachments to DH at work so he could fix some margin problems on the supplemental excel sheets. So, at least we have access to the second version.

I sadly lost my excel document that tracked all my spending.

The good news is that for Christmas my mom and stepdad got us a family gift of a new computer.

Now I can clear off the work station and make it nice and pretty and neat and clean and organized with only one computer and less wires.

First, the car engine light issue appears to have taken care of itself. I was the last one who put gas in DH's car (filling it up on 12/21) and I believe that LuckyRobin (?) was correct in suggesting that might have been the problem (not putting the cover on all the way). DH put gas into his car on Tuesday night and as soon as he did, the light went off. He told this to retired-mechanic FIL who asked about the gas tank cover and said that is probably what it was. Of course, I'll leave my $503 put on the outside chance it is a problem of a more serious nature.

I have a 2nd grade son making his First Holy Communion in May. He's a sentimental sort of guy and he brought me the flyer about the "traditional rosary making night for the moms". He's the fifth child to make this sacrament and I've never made the rosaries with the mothers. I'm not a jewelry making sort of person and while it is a wonderful idea for some, it isn't for me. I am an avid cross-stitcher and over the years I've stitched wonderful things for my children for this event: I've done a cross of flowers and a Celtic cross (which are my favorites). I told my little pal that we'll go to the Catholic store after his First Reconciliation and I'll let him pick out a rosary as a gift (we'll go for ice cream, too).
I used to worry how I would be perceived for not participating in things like this. The version of who I am right now is so totally free of that other version of me. I am glad I've gotten to this point.

Money-wise, on target for spending allotment. Heading to Aldi's today for some needed items to get through til next Thursday.

Life. Kids are back to school (tired and cranky) and DH is surviving the worst part of the year at his job (stressed and cranky). "Rebeckah of Sunnybrook Farm" and "Pollyanna" would have major work here to get the grumpers feeling happy. I suppose we'll gun for a movie night and early bedtime here and hopefully it will be smooth sailing into the weekend?

There is some Cub Scout business that needs to be dealt with and I'll have to contact the Committee Chair. She is somewhat difficult to deal with, though I've known her a long time and she gives me less grief than others. I've realized that her replacement is also difficult, and I'll be dealing with him for the next three years.

Money. It is leaking out in dribs and drabs, $30 for DH and son to go the Bulls game tonight (gas contribution and dinner), $5 for high school daughter's art pad (which I could probably buy at Michaels cheaper with a 40% off coupon?), and $14 for a field trip for the 5th grader. DH has a cold and we have no cold medicine for adults.

Positive money note: I did check the payment history for the mortgage and the regular principle and additional principle payments were creditied. Not sure what I'll do with the additional funds this paycheck on 1/18 - will be another $500. Maybe to my IRA? It's been a bit neglected lately. Oh well, we'll see ...

I dropped the kids off at school, did a quick run to CVS for milk and cereal (spending was necessary and yielded $4 ECB) and to drop off a braces payment to the orthodontist, and was back in time for 8:15 Mass. The teacher came to tell me my 2nd grader didn't look well, had been crying, and it might be best if he sat with me and grandma (I meet my mom there). Daily mass is shorter than the weekend, so 35 minutes later, he still looked pale and I decided to bring him home.

So, I am thankful that two weeks ago I used a sale/coupon to stock up on Triaminic and that I did the CVS run in the morning. I am thankful that I've got a freezer full of food, so I can thaw out some sloppy joe mix and open a bag of chips and cook some veggies for dinner.

Now it is time to chill with the sickling.

On a good note, the engine light went off in DH's minivan, so I'm hoping that we can make it til next payday (the 18th) before any big repairs are in order. This makes me even more hopeful that it is only the sensor and not the entire computer.

I've sort of done the fade with the best friend. She was way too exhausting and I wasn't good with boundaries. It has been nice to have some space. I've also made an effort to get some new friends, and I'm feeling minimally successful in replacing some of the more difficult people I've been friends with.

Best friend called this morning. I haven't talked to her since Christmas Day. She started in on her lack of money and her trying to save money to pay the lawyer to proceed with bankruptcy and that she has a $100 bill under her mattress that she's thinking about breaking because she wants a new Christmas tree to replace her fiber optic one that died after six years. It was odd. I listened a bit and had no emotional response. I used to get a pit in my stomach thinking about her future and what might happen. This time, nada, nothing. Rather than tell her what I thought she should do, I realized that I thought to myself that I was thankful that I have an EF and a budget, and I had no other response to her complaints and whining other than "Oh". No encouraging, admonishing, advising. I consider it a success. I was immune to her drama. I learned: I am ultimately only fiscally responsible for the family that my husband and I have created. This is not to say that I wouldn't help someone truly in need, because of course, I would. I have realized that you can't help those who won't help themselves.

On the money front, it will be a NSD. Christmas is being packed away and I'm weeding through MORE stuff, another bag for Goodwill and another bag of hand-me-downs for our friend.

I've sort of done the fade with the best friend. She was way too exhausting and I wasn't good with boundaries. It has been nice to have some space. I've also made an effort to get some new friends, and I'm feeling minimally successful in replacing some of the more difficult people I've been friends with.

Best friend called this morning. I haven't talked to her since Christmas Day. She started in on her lack of money and her trying to save money to pay the lawyer to proceed with bankruptcy and that she has a $100 bill under her mattress that she's thinking about breaking because she wants a new Christmas tree to replace her fiber optic one that died after six years. It was odd. I listened a bit and had no emotional response. I used to get a pit in my stomach thinking about her future and what might happen. This time, nada, nothing. Rather than tell her what I thought she should do, I realized that I thought to myself that I was thankful that I have an EF and a budget, and I had no other response to her complaints and whining other than "Oh". No encouraging, admonishing, advising. I consider it a success. I was immune to her drama. I learned: I am ultimately only fiscally responsible for the family that my husband and I have created. This is not to say that I wouldn't help someone truly in need, because of course, I would. I have realized that you can't help those who won't help themselves.

On the money front, it will be a NSD. Christmas is being packed away and I'm weeding through MORE stuff, another bag for Goodwill and another bag of hand-me-downs for our friend.

Costly car repair is looming. DH initially thought it was the starter on his minivan. A call to repair shop estimated it was a $500 repair. The engine light came on and our mechanic ran the diagnostics. It appears that the whole computer unit needs to be replaced or it is a sensor of some type. And it has to be done at a dealer. Estimate of our mechanic $700 to $800. Possibly more, maybe less if it is the sensor. I have in hand for this repair $503, of which I was frittering away for a new carpet purchase for the four bedrooms.

Usually on Sundays I get my mom's ads and coupons. I skipped today, because I'm really attempting to keep our living expenses (gas/groceries/miscellaneous) under $300 for 1/4 to 1/17. Our freezer and fridge are pretty well stocked. It was odd to not get the ads or coupons, but that would completely derail the course I am on. My mom is saving the coupons for me for the next two weeks. I should admit that I have a difficult time realizing that "things will be on sale again" and this isn't my last chance ever to purchase "x" at "cost".

Kids are back in school tomorrow. I imagine that I'll spend the day packing away the Christmas decorations and bringing some semblance back to the household.

The goal for January's first paycheck (today) was to send $500 additional principle off to the mortgage company. And away those funds went. I can't wait until Monday when the payment is applied and I can see the updated amortization chart.

This was also the first pay period with the increase of 401K to 11% (up from 4%).

DH's minivan has the engine light on. He has a precursory visit to our mechanic at 5:00 today to have the code read. Yesterday he thought it was the starter, so the quote they gave me was $500. Ouch. Retired Mechanic FIL said it was most likely a sensor, which I'm hoping is less than $500 to repair. Short-term cash in hand for auto repair: $404.30 (sadly, of which, I was hoping to apply toward new carpeting).

Kids are back to school on Monday and we're back to a busy weekend with a basketball game and first Destination Imagination science program for the 2nd grader.

My goal for the "Living Expenses" for 1/4 though 1/17 is $350. I certainly get carried away with some sales put forth in the grocery ads (spend $75 to get $10) is good, but my money will still go further at Aldi's. And my goal in keeping the expenses down was to use the grocery fund to only buy staples and supplemental items to fill missing menu items. Reeled in my spending and have a practical list now (milk/sugar/dog food/stew meat/lunch meat). I don't really to need add more chicken breasts when I've got a big batch to work with, and I don't need more ground beef when I have four mini meatloaves and two batches of chili frozen. I have to remind myself that these will be on sale again.

We're off to the Hobby Store for the boys to get track extensions for their slot car set and also toe Target to get some Skylander characters. Oh, the joys of boys with money and gift cards.

Spending recap for 12/21 to 1/3 is as follows:

Groceries/Household $256
Gas $78
Pets $13
Rx $7
Dining $24
Hot lunches for Jan $42.50
Celebration $21
Christmas $274
Entertainment $30
Miscellaneous $32
Clothing $66

I hosted Christmas and a birthday and had my ILs here for five days. We obviously drove far less with the kids out of school. Christmas was everything: Meal/wrapping paper/cash gift for brother/gift certificate for MIL to orchid place/donation to church/and an unnecessary, but totally wanted purchase of three Lenox ornaments on 75% reduction at Macy's on 12/27.

I am looking into Netflix because we spent $13 at Family Video. We also had a family outing to the roller rink and I had a great time (haven't been on skates in 23+ years and my girls didn't know I could skate at all!).

Payday is tomorrow.

I discontinued the prepaid manna/Scripps card through the school. This will allow me better opportunity to take advantage of the sales and varying grocery stores. That $256 spent last pay period did leave me with mostly full cabinets and a freezer, so I am hoping to keep my grocery at $75 this week and $125 next week. Gas will also increase now that we resume regular life on Monday with driving frenzies.

I did the *dreaded* weigh-in after the holidays and was surprised to see that I was *only* 138. Goal weight is 122-125. Also would love to participate in a 5K in May with a respectable time of 30 minutes. The men in my life (DH and stepdad) are in the 28 range, so maybe I'd be able to at least keep up with them for part of the race?

We've decided that the girls will only go to class once a week for Irish Dance. With homework and other interests, that will work better and will us $100 a month.

Keeping those thoughts about goals churling around in my head!

I hope that everyone had a fulfilling holiday season. We had a wonderful Advent filled with family activities and a very nice Christmas celebration with extended family. It wasn't a white Christmas, which saddened by nostalgic daughter. I've made some interesting observations about myself lately that have helped my the best version of myself that I can be, and I've been much more positive in attitude and spirit that has helped things be calm and peaceful.

I've worked the budget for the 1/4 and will be paying an additional $500 to mortgage principle. I am very pleased with that.

I have increased the 401K contributions from 4% to 12%. I'm looking at it as a "getting used to less money" practice.

The meal planning and grocery spending will continue to be an area that I'm challenged by. But, I'm spending a bit of my weekly grocery funds to stock up things when they are on sale. Seems a smart move.

I'm giving some thoughts to concrete goals for 2013. I've got the normal "lose weight" and "eradicate debt" and some other home improvement ones "new carpeting in the bedrooms". Also I've been more outgoing and expanding my circle with like-minded friends. I've unfortunately did the fade with my best friend, taking a hiatus of several weeks (speaking to her once every six days for a minimum of ten minutes AND making an effort to talk to her about what was going on in MY life rather than listening to her ONLY). Making small progress there, and the time away has definitely made her issues HERS and there hasn't been the energy suck

Well, Happy New Year, all!

I am online to take care of some money business (making a credit card payment and scheduling auto bill pays for the next paycheck on 12/21).

I hope that everyone is enjoying December so far. We have been decorated since the beginning of Advent and rang in the New Liturgical Year (C) on December 1st.

We were able to donate two big boxes of groceries to my high school daughter's homeroom class's Adopt A Family (six boxes of Post cereal, six boxes of fruit snacks, three boxes of pasta, three cans of sauce, ten boxes of canned soup and spaghettios, six cans of vegetables, and two tubes of toothpaste and two hand soaps.) And we went to Mass at a different parish the weekend that we usually pick the name off the gift tree. We piggy-backed on my mom's tag and spent $23 on some clothing for a 12 year old girl who wanted yoga pants (found some really cute clothes at great prices at Target) also used a coupon to pick up some lip gloss for her.

Life here is nice and peaceful, despite the calendar. We went to the Band Concert last week (what a difference a year can make when it comes to musical talent!). We went to Drury Lane for Breakfast with Santa last Saturday with the Cub Scouts and I'd like to make that a new tradition. My parents came too and it was a lot of fun. This Friday we go caroling at the Retirement and Nursing Homes in our town. Looking forward to that, should be fun.

Finals and Christmas parties are next week. We'll follow our annual tradition of Mass at 3:00 on Christmas Eve followed by dinner and a gift exchange at my parents. Christmas Day my inlaws arrive at about noon and I host dinner at 4:00.

I've made an effort to be more social with the group of people that I'd like to be friendlier with. I invited one mom to breakfast on 11/29. We had a really nice conversation and I realize that she's pretty similar to me (not wanting to engage in the drama that goes with the two grades our sons are in - our boys match up and are best friends). She then texted me last week on the spur of the moment and I went over for tea. The nice thing about this friendship is ... no drama. I do have to encounter the drama mama from last year, but since my attitude has changed, there isn't much significance to things.

To end, my money-saving strategies of late:

$25 gift card to Walgreens with a simple Rx transfer
$25 off $50 groceries at Dominick's (also due to Rx transfer)
$168 saved for Rx sample from pediatrician
Stacking up on Triaminic stacking coupons at CVS

I also splurged and spent my birthday money on a Nikon camera ($479 purchased online, free shipping and no taxes) And I bought myself a dress that I love at Macy's and found another on clearance. Total purchase was $41 after discounts and coupons and tax was added. Original price was $79.50.

Happy Holidays. I really probably won't be back til 2013. Off to catch up on everyone's blogs!!

I'm back for my last post of 2012. Advent doesn't start until 12/1 and I'm making a lot of headway living a purpose-driven life vs. let's waste a lot of time on the computer, etc. I'm online taking care of some banking stuff and Scout emails, so I thought I'd mosey on over.

I wasn't concrete with the goals this year, despite my thoughts that I'd come up with some for 4th quarter 2012, but I didn't. I will still recap my accomplishments:

1) Paid off $5,000 high school tuition bill for oldest daughter. The last $770 last month.
2) Reduced the current tuition for the remaining students at the parochial school from $1,606 down to $556 (will continue to make four payments in Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr of $139 to take care of that).
3) Paid $2,400 to credit card debt since Sept. Still remains at $3,500 but it is at 0% until 12/13.
4) Similarly, haven't used the credit cards for anything since August; this was avoided through better planning and being willing to part with funds from the small EF - I sort of view that account now as a revolving door - money in/money out/money in/money out
5) Christmas is done and paid for. I did spend more than usual (and the spending on the kids came from a place of: I have the $ now, let me spend it on them and what I think they'd like. Funny thing was, it didn't feel natural to deviate away from our three gift tradition. So my parents ended up reimbursing me for some of the gifts and now they're shopping is done, too).
6) In December I will have all bills prepaid for January. I will also have $500 cash in the extraneous fund for those things that pop up.

So, all in all, I'm feeling a lot better about our financial situation, and better able to move forward with less trepidation.

Again, wishing you all a Season of blessings and love, faith and family.

See you in 2013, with a concrete plan!

Wishing all of the SA Family a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends, reminding us of what really matters (depsite the innundation for Black Friday and Cyber Monday). I am grateful to be part of this community, and I realize how far that I've come as an individual (person and money-wise). I've enjoyed being able to come here and vent (pout and whine) and just sort things out.

I am going to be taking a hiatus of sorts. Since were a Catholic family, we're embracing Advent in a new way. For Lent, I've been technology-free. For Advent, we're emphasizing being pro-active as a family and I will admit to spending a lot of time in the cyberworld or playing FB Scrabble. Guess what? My husband has committed to two games of Scrabble a week (in person)! My kids are totally committed to the idea and since we have most of our family activities between now and the holidays on Sundays it has sort of been dubbed "Family Day".

I had a really good conversation with our Pastor. He really helped to bring clarity to my situation (or where I've perceived myself). All of life is on a continuum, nothing is really all good or all bad (although I suppose in rare exceptions). I will admit to struggling what a deacon's wife look like. Guess what ... there is no really answer. Look in the mirror. I need not really worry about vows of poverty. I'm already embracing a heart of service by supporting my husband.

I'm reminded in small ways that it will be OK. I coordinated the Cub Scout outing to the local theatre (I did so grumling because it was sort of dropped in my lap last minute so everything needed to be frenzied). I ended up with two free tickets to the threatre. I gave them to a friend of mine (not very close) whose in a really tight financial situation (she called at the beginning of the school year to see if we had extra backpacks because DH works for a major office supply retailer and my kids regularly bring home tons of backpacks from Take Your Child to Work day.) So I gave her the two free tickets, she said I didn't know how happy that made her because she was wondering how to come up with the $30 from her paycheck which was already spent.

My oldest son plays soccer with the park district; most of his friends play with the elite travelling soccer team. DH's fraternal order sponsored a soccer challenge and my son advanced through four rounds and went to state on Saturday. He was up against the "elite" (the ones who wear the uniforms that look like they're on TV). My kid was in his sweatpants and pretty generic cleats. I am so glad that didn't shake his confidence (I realized those are MY hang-ups and my kids are fine and confident in who they are). My son went last and beat out the nearest competition by 15 points. He's the best in the state for his division. And DH who had partnered up with the local elite soccer club at the smallest level let the president know (there was another boy from the elite team who advanced to state, too). Anyhow, long story short, the club never wants $ to be a factor and my son(s) will get a grant in the spring to defray the cost.

I'm done with Christmas shopping (as part of our decision to embrace Advent). I spent a bit more on the kids after my biological father sent me more than usual cash for my birthday. I made 18 mini-loaves of bread yesterday for the teachers (today is last day of the school week). I've got a sick child home and had another sleep-deprived night. But it is all good.

Since I probably won't be back until after the New Year, I will go ahead and wish you all the best this Hannukah, Christmas, Holiday Season! I plan on reinventing myself (yet again) in January (sort of like anxiously waiting to see what generation Dr. Who will morph into!)

Thank you for the birthday wishes from yesterday's post.

I mentioned that my best friend consulted with the bankruptcy lawyer about Chapter 13. She's moving ahead with it; I don't have an opinion on it.

I do have an opinion on her attitude. That is what I'm disappointed it. My opinion of her has always been high, she is the godmother to my fourth child. I've always thought that she found herself in situations due to circumstances, more so than judgment (or lack of).

The attitude today was: Upon the advise of my lawyer, I don't need to pay my creditors. (I get that is probably standard). Then came the, it is payday and I can go out tonight and not worry! Then: And, I can sleep in tomorrow because I can't go to the second job anymore because that means I make too much money to proceed with my bankruptcy?

Huh? I don't understand where this attitude is coming from? Is it giddy liberation from the bondage of debt? I don't even care to analyze it, because the whole thing seems very ... sleazy? unethical? immoral? to me.

I know I said I don't have an opinion to share, but sadly I do. Makes me wonder what we really have in common anymore. The sad reality is: I am a cheap therapy. She uses me to dump on and look for advice.

The lessons of growing up continue to come.

It may really be time to fade.

And bloom elsewhere.

another year wiser? Not so sure about that, but making progress anyhow!

My morning began with contact lens drama - not being a wearer, I'm of no support to my older daughter's lens issues. She lost one, found it, put it in and there must have been some debris on it or something, but it ended up being a horrible experience (eye pain, watering, crying, upset, drama, etc). It ended up being the last contact, so we were thankfully able to get to the optometrist for another box of lenses, and get her to school by 2nd period. I was able to make it to school to read to the 2nd graders, my mom took me out to lunch at Egg Harbor. Had lots of well wishes from friends on FB and relatives IRL. Feeling the love, though the party is on Sunday.

I've learned that it is probably best to forgive and move on. Crazy-mother ex-friend is back in my life; she drove my daughter home last night (well out of the way) so she could attend an Open House at the high school. I called her to thank her (because it is the nice thing to do) and we were quite cordial, however I'm careful not to say anything about anyone (she is a gossip monger) and keep it neutral.

I've also learned to let go. My best friend has been incredibly high maintenance for awhile and for a bit I've done the fade just to have lots of breathing room. After all of our years together, I've learned that she is who she is. She'll need to live out the consequences of her decisions. She has seen a Bankruptcy attorney about filing Chapter 13. I didn't even have an opinion to share.

I've learned that for the people who use their money as power, they'll probably end up using it as love, too. I'm emotionally estranged from my biological father and haven't seen him in well over a 18 months. Do I miss him? No. I have a great stepdad who embodies everything that a "father" should be. I've figured out that those with a minimal capacity for love have a minimal capacity. It isn't that I am not unlovable. Totally not my problem. It's not me. Anyhow, my biological father sent me a check for $500 (more than he usually does). I'll mail my thank you card today.

So my hopes and wishes for the next year are that my family continues to value what is important and that as we make some major changes, our happiness and health will continue.

My decluttering frenzy continued right on through the kitchen and I recruited the kids to sort through cookie cutters by season and store them in large ziploc bags. I surprised myself that the cookie press AND the cake decorator had all parts AND directions. We reduced the decorating supplies by about 60% doing away with old sprinkles and food coloring. Looking good!

Now we're doing a major reorganization of the cabinets switching where the dishes are kept and the baking things. Might take a bit of getting used to, but will ultimately streamline things.

At Walmart today I purchased some things we needed: new teaspoon and tablespoon measuring cups, new oven mitts, and an ironing board cover.

At least now if someone were to ask me where an item was in my kitchen cabinets, I now know.

Moving on to target the office products and school supplies.

OK, so I was totally overwhelmed and left my house with everything spread out on the counters and the tables (two big ones - one in the kitchen, one in the dining room).

I ran the errands I should have done yesterday (but my keys were in my purse that was locked in the car ) and I returned with a clearer head.

I have two sets of china: one we use at Easter, the other we use at Christmas. I love both of them and decided to do away with anything colored class that didn't match (like some odd blue glass ones and an amber platter). I also did away with a pair of candle holders that I decided I don't like. In the far cabinet up top, I put the obvious Easter things (peep chick and bunny salt & pepper shakers and some egg cups) and the ceramic birthday plates we use (for the birthday person). I also got rid of some plastic (glass looking) bowls my MIL gave me to put her salads in when she came (they just didn't hold up too well). I've consolidated the tupperware, too, and am hoping to move to glass storage (hearing too much about the chemicals in plastic).

If I could photograph my progress, you'd be proud. And the things of sentimental value I've moved to the china closet. Must keep going, must keep going. Hoping that the decluttering bug carries me through some major projects

Don't know what possessed me, but I am embracing the decluttering bug in a MAJOR way and I've decided to tackle my kitchen cabinets and all the knick-knack things I've accumulated.

What do you feel is an adequate number of "nice" serving bowls and glass dishes for serving guests (I'm not talking your best china or pyrex/corning where). I have tons of things ...

I have Waterford crystal from great grandmother that was in the back of a cabinet (shame on me!) and I'm not re-arranging my new-to-me (in Feb) China closet with the sentimental stuff.

I'm just overwhelmed ... so, again, what is your stash of guestware like? thanks!

I suppose that I'm speaking of the "mental saddle" rather than a monetary saddle. I was in an odd funk and didn't really help that I was sleep deprived, my daughter's classmate passed away and it was all out of whack. I spent way too much time analyzing myself and came to no clear conclusions about anything. All I can do is work with what I have now, despite where I came from, and I do have a direction where we are going, so it will be fine. And surprisingly, most of my angst came from comparison with others and not being fearful of the future.

DH and I were at our parish's volunteer appreciation dinner on Saturday. Our volunteer work deals with the parish, rather than the school. In fact, the drama of the school volunteer work last year has me volunteering in no capacity over there (though I do go in and read to the 2nd graders and I do help out at the parties, I'm just not a planner ) Anyhow, at the dinner I had the unpleasant experience of having one of the parents that isn't high on my list of favorites glom on to me. She was dateless, asked if she could sit with me. We joined my husband's fraternal brothers and their wives. What I learned from this is: it is best to be a helper with a humble heart.

I spent some money from the budget on myself. A $19 dress and $28 pair of boots at Old Navy. And $10 on a new pair of jeans and a Jones New York sweater at Goodwill (I had a 25% off coupon for my birthday). I was surprised how a few new items can spruce up one's opinion of oneself. I have to be immune to conversations about personal shoppers at Nordstroms who call when your favorite designer sends items in your best colors. Can't let those turkeys get you down.

I paid the last of the high school tuition on Friday, $770, paid and done! Wa-hoo! I am pleased about that!

Thought that it was time to revisit some money-management techniques and theories. This time I'm tackling The Money Saving Mom's Budget, I bought the book and regretted the purchase because I should have gotten it from the library. Anyhow, here are the 7 main principles ("Rules for Financial Success"):

#1: Set big goals and break them down into bite-sized pieces
#2: Streamline your life and cut the clutter
#3: Set up a realistic, workable budget
#4: Take the cash only challenge
#5: Use coupons
#6: Never pay retail
#7: Choose contentment

When DH and I did the steps to financial freedom through our church, there were 7 steps too. I wonder are most of the programs 7 steps? Just an odd curious wonder ...

Spending should be low today, pet store for crickets and meal worms for the bearded dragon, lunch meat and coffee at Aldi's. It was a nice, long weekend. Conferences on Friday went well: all kids are doing well, the reading specialist is making good predictions about oldest son's success. The girls participated in a service project on Sunday, and the moderator said how nice it was that my older daughter (the sponsor) accompanied the younger daughter (Confirmandi) and they clearly are devoted to one another.

So, now I will take daily steps to maintain a positive attitude and make wise money decisions to support our future financial goals.

I am muddling through things. It has been an odd week, with sick kids home Monday and Tuesday, oldest daughter home today (I suppose a mental health day was in order following the death of the classmate). I've been walking my mother's dog since she's out of town, so that has put an odd twist on the routine of the day. Then the rest of the kids are home tomorrow and Monday for conferences and veteran's day.

Payday and rent collection are tomorrow and I've got $50 in the checking account to move to savings. Haven't done that before! We ate breakfast for dinner one day last week and one day this week and I suppose I didn't spend anything on Halloween costumes (the kids raided the bin of dress up clothes and were all suitably dressed). I've determined that a lot of it has to do with my mindset; if I *think* my kids will need new costumes costing an average of $20 a piece, I will spend most likely spend it. This year they were all happy to swap and trade what was worn in previous years (the boys are all about the same size despite the age differences).

We get the weekly standing order (Scripps/Manna) on Thursdays, so I did the weekly spending and gassed up one car. ($38 for gas, $62 at Sam's Club, $38 at Walmart). I do have a $25 off of $50 at Dominick's that I'll end up using tomorrow; they've got a decent sale and I've matched up some pantry deficits, so I'll be well under the inflated amount we've spent in the past.

The layoffs are happening at DH's work. Since we're deciding on his return to school for pastoral counseling and the diaconite, I'm not too unsettled. It will be OK. My grandmother (92 and in California) is supportive of this decision and has given us $20K. We have it in the EF and I don't suppose that we'll touch it. We're fine covering our expenses which I'm slowly trimming back on our income, and I'm going to hike up the 401K contribution to 20% in January for the last six months of full-time corporate America.

I'm hoping that a decent night's rest will help clear the fog from my mind. After all, tomorrow starts another pay period.

Sad day here today as a classmate of my daughter passed away last night. He had a bone marrow transplant last December after being diagnosed with leukemia. He was apparently cured but ended up with a rare disease (I think ADP) and was in a medically-induced coma since August. There was some progress as he was off the ventilator breathing on his own for 14 hours three weeks ago. Anyhow, sad day. I haven't heard from my daughter (the principal sent out a recorded message this morning about the news and said that counselors were available to the kids who needed to talk), so I hope she is OK.

Again, this is a reminder to me that the things that I've let get to me lately ultimately don't matter. The school-induced drama won't go away, but how I encourage my children to handle things is what is important. I am grateful that I have open communication with all my children. I am grateful that other people's children like our home and we can offer them some things that their family lives are missing (two kids in particular have been spending lots of time at our house). Ultimately what we can do positively is all that matters.

I am grateful that my family is healthy and happy. I am grateful that my relatives on the East Coast are safe after the storm. I am grateful that the plans for our future are shaping up and we are moving forward confidently, going where we think God wants us to.

Money. I've spent some time lately losing sight that it really isn't about the money. I've had a bout of petty jealousy about other people's "haves". I really do have all that I need and I want.

Sorry to be morose. I've got the 2nd grader home today after recovering from a weekend of illness. I think I'd like a good cry. Venting here is the next best thing.

So if you are religious or spiritual, thoughts and prayers for the family of JW would be appreciated. The road ahead for them is going to be long.

Time is just a-marchin' right along, isn't it?

I was surprised to hear that Black Friday is less than three weeks away! Talk about a sobering thought for those of us who thought we had more time!

I'm not hosting Thanksgiving and we're not travelling out of state for Mid-america Irish Dance Championships, so that makes things a bit less frenzied. I will have my inlaws that weekend, and I will be having a party for oldest daughter, but those are all small in comparison to what I've done in the past on Thanksgiving weekend.

Money-wise, nothing major is going on. I realized that I won't be out of debt by the end of the year, but by this Friday I will have buried the high school tuition balance, and I'll scale back on the parochial school tuition to pay it off by May when it is supposed to be paid in full. I plan on putting the 401(k) contributions to 20% in January, for the time being that he remains in corporate America.

I've given up worrying about what other people think and have been more vocal about our plans, namely DH returning to school to pursue a diaconite. I was surprised that my mother was supportive, and my best friend was like "If anyone is up to the challenge to live on next to nothing, it is you." That is probably a gross exaggeration, but it sounded like a compliment was wrapped up in there somewhere. I am looking for part-time employment (more actively) and the grants and scholarships for the kids will probably increase a lot as well.

This year we have a $20 limit of each grandparent and my brother, and we're requesting family gifts (we suggested a zoo membership to my parents, and to my inlaws we asked for gift cards to a movie and dinner out). We've given my brother a list of DVDs we'd like. I've got a spend $50, get $25 off coupon for Dominicks which I'll use for my ham at Christmas. I'm looking at sale ads regularly and got my younger daughter some Smashbox make-up from Ulta's for $22. Both girls have winter birthdays (one right after Thanksgiving, and one right before Christmas). So I'm juggling the money balls well.

Hope everyone is enjoying the Fall!

I raided the small savings account to the tune of $42 yesterday to cover a Target purchase. The splurged items were two long-sleeve T's with the Chicago Bulls on them, one for DH and oldest son. They've been invited to a Bulls game tonight (tickets are free and they'll be watching the game from a private suite) and there will be a $20 contribution to cover dinner and snacks. The kind invitation was extended to the seven boys on the basketball team that son is on, and it is a "pre-season kick-off celebration." We live in an area we are on the way low socio-economic scale (people living in 3500+ square foot homes, Cadillac Escalades and Land Rovers, and season tickets to the major sports teams are the norm). I suppose it is at least nice to glimpse the way the other half (more than) lives. Last sporting event my son attended with this family, I was just happy that he had a long-sleeved Blackhawks t-shirt because the other kids were all in official jerseys. He seemed happy just to have the Bull on his chest.

Older daughter just finished her first quarter of high school. Her GPA is a 4.0. One A in her honors class offset the B she struggled to get in Spanish II. And B she earned in Honors Biology was weighted and counted as an A. Mighty proud of her! I think that into Friday's bi-weekly budget, I'll try to add in a surprise outing to lunch or coffee.

Older daughter had her annual physical exam yesterday. She has asthma and once we run out of the corporate-sponsored funds from the HSA, we are out of pocket on everything, including her asthma meds.

I asked the doctor if for the remaining two months of the year we could switch daughter to the least expensive maintenance meds inhaler-based. The doctor said she'd check her sample and we have two months of her regular meds ($123 a month) and a regular albuterol inhaler (Proair-costig $65).

Needless to say, I was quite thankful for this; it saved us $300 for the remainder of the year. Ad DH said, "that is 3/5 of our Christmas budget".

We also got DD another pneumovax, she hasn't had pneumonia in the five years since she had it last.

Today I'm thankful that we live in a country that has the medical advancements to keep my daughter healthy, and for the cost-saving gesture of the doctor.