Love the Life you Live

(1) "Yours is the only one"
Referring to my older daughter who recalled in the Traditional Set despite having a 101 temperature and body aches. She had two girls from her dance school in that competition, and neither of them recalled (which means to place in the top 1/2). I felt quite bad that the other two didn't, one of them thought it was her best dance ever and she cried for the next several hours. My daughter placed quite decently given her clearly ill state.

(2) "The wig is on upside down."
OK, that is what the teacher said to me when she saw the corkscrew curl wig on my daughter about 30 minutes prior to the ceili - or 8-hand figures team dance that both my girls were on. Yes, I, a dance mom for the past many years, have never dealt with a wig like and I mistook the hair band at the bottom of the wig as the bangs. Shame on me.

(3) "Mom, it wasn't the best I've danced"
Said my younger daughter who was rumored to qualify for Nationals. She didn't even recall - which left me dismayed, but didn't seem to phase her.

(4) "I don't need an award to know I'm a good dancer." I did thank God for her maturity and outlook. She didn't recall three years ago and was in tears for hours. My MIL asked her what she'll do now, and my daughter looked at her blankly, like it would take one poor performance to break her esteem. That is my girl!! After her treble jig which wasn't her best, she performed her slip jig perfectly, but apparently it wasn't enough to bring her to the top half.

(4) Mouse Fact #137 from oldest son: Mice can wiggle out of traps because they have cartilage and not bones.

(5) Mouse Fact #196 also from oldest son: St. Francis loves ALL animals, including mice.

(6) "We've now officially killed all the Walton kids, plus Liv and John, and Grandpa Zeke and Gran Esther. Anymore casualties, and we'll start pecking off the Duggars one by one."
That quip was DH's as our final mouse kill total was a whopping 11! No more mouse turds in my kitchen. We've been rodent free traps two mornings in a row!

(7) "Rather than go to dinner and spent a lot of money on sub-par food, I've bought an extra pork roast that I'll make for dinner one night when you're still at the competition."
OK, my in-laws do feel the obligation to take us out for a meal when they are here. There are quite a few of us, and the bill is usually a lot more than they are used to spending. MIL said the above and made a wonderful pork roast with onions and mushrooms and it was so nice to come home yesterday to a house filled with the rest of the kids and the in-laws.

(8) Last night, before bed, younger daughter who didn't recall said, "I can't decide if it is easier to be the worst of the best, the best of the worst. You know, it really won't matter tomorrow. And by the way, one side-stage helper complimented me on my manners. She said I was the only one thanked her for holding the curtain open for me. *D* (older daughter) held her own curtain, so she wasn't rude. OK, good night."

I have a quiet minute this AM and wanted to say that I am thankful for this community to help support me in money matters and in life in general.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Gooble Gooble (as written by my first graders)

(1) DH used old-fashioned traps to catch the culprits. He had a $5 off coupon at Ace and got four traps and a beef jerky. He ate the beef jerky and left the wrapper in the bag. Son thought that the beef jerky was bait for the mouse.

(2) Ratatouie is showing with GREAT REGULARITY on the Disney Channel right now. This is not the movie to be watching when one wants to catch a mouse.

(3) I was reminded of the third commandment when my sensitive son (this is the one who became a vegan at four when he realized beef comes from a cow - he's my John Deere Junky who'd be happy with my or husband's distant relatives on the dairy farms in Michigan). "Mom, it is not right to kill God's creatures. I've heard that it might be okay to kill if you're going to eat or if you need to defend. I don't see us eating mouse for dinner or that they're taking over." Good point, Son, tell that to your wife in about 20 years and see what see says. I thanked him for his sensitivity.

(4) Outcome: two casualties with much less evidence of mouse partying in my kitchen.

Off to deal with school volunteer work and more dance To Do's. How are your Thanksgiving plans shaping up?

Hope this finds all SA Friends well and getting ready to enjoy time with family and friends later in the week.

We are well into the week of preparations for the Oireachtas which is the Mid-America Championships for Irish Dance covering a multi-state region. My girls did well last year, "the worst of the best" which was an upgrade from the "worst of the worst" two years earlier. My younger girl is rumored to qualify for Nationals (which are in Chicago this year) based on her progress and performance in class, and my older daughter has come a long way from a gawky sort of kid to someone with great stage presence at 5'7" and 90#. I am quite proud of these two, can you tell?

I was able to return the $58 eye shadow purchase to Sephora since the team dancing make up will be done professinally. Both girls have dark brunette wigs (standard to have all dancers look alike) and we've had good luck with the temporary hair dye for their bangs. We've also had good luck with tanning their legs and will use our normal coppertone tanning lotion. Today older daughter's school dress is coming home (made custom for her) and younger daughter's dance dress will come back from the tailor tomorrow. Shoes to be polished and I'm fairly organized this year.

Christmas shopping is going well. My kids are all done and while I will admit to overbuying for them, I was able to easily remedy the situatino by selling some gifts to my parents and brother.

I used $10 off on a $20 purchase for a gift for my SIL's baby, well my X-Sil who had a beautiful bouncing baby boy at a whopping 9#. My brother's ex-girlfriend's brother was murdered two weeks ago and I've decided to have a Catholic Mass said for him. I know that he was a Protestant but I've gotten over the whole label thing of "catholic" vs "protestant" and have decided that since we're all Christians (speaking here only of my family and his family) it was fitting.

The stirring creature you might be wondering about mentioned in the title of the post refers to a mouse that was spotted in my house - in my kitchen - apparently coming up through the cabinet base where the pipes are. Found a cheese stick wrapper stuffed in the hole and didn't think much about it until I spotted mouse droppings. DH purchased traps so we'll see what we yield. I hate to admit to being skiddish but I am. I am afraid to open my kitchen cabinets though there's been no evidence of anything in the actual cabinets. It was clearly a quiet homework moment that brought the creature out because lately it has been a zoo here with constant Irish dance music and hard shoe pounding and trumpet practice.

Hope everyone enjoys their time off. See you November 28th.

Yesterday I tried my hand again at shopping for Christmas with my coupons and coupon cards. I'm happy to report that I did fairly well saving while I did spend.

This is what I purchased:

Bath & Body Works $6.00 for body lotion and body mist of their new scent (for younger daughter) It was 50% off and I had buy one get one free coupon

Aerpostale $16.00 for a long-sleeve thermal knit top and a t-shirt (for younger daughter) had 40% off total purchase price and both items were on sale

Victoria's Secret $100+ (don't have receipt in front fo me) PINK brand yoga pants and velour for older daughter. To think that I thought that Vicky's Secret was simply thongs panty and bustiers! HA

Family Christian Store $62 and that was MIL's Christmas and Birthday Gift, Goddaughter's Christmas gift and Thomas Kincaide Christmas cards. I had a 30% off coupon (from doing survey on bottom of receipt) and the new receipt says I saved $42. Maybe?

So I'm making progress and feeling like I'm not spending as much as I could be.

Time between now and dance competition is filled with odd times for semi private lessons, extended times for regular classes, and three-hour long practices for the team dancing (ceili and choreography). My brother is hosting Thanksgiving so I am simply bringing some side items (green bean casserole and cornbread casserole). I'm hosting a party on Friday for my girls (my inlaws are in from out of state and I try to capitalize on having them here), but our party is pretty small down from last year's 30+ and I'm keeping it simple with a crockpot filled of ravioli and chicken Parmesan, plus a green salad and garlic bread. Last year I had several more main menu items and it was too much. And then of course Saturday and Sunday are dance, dance, dance!

Hope all are well and tackling your holiday lists and cooking tasks with a happy heart!

This year I have two Cub Scouts who participated in the annual wreath sale which is the Pack's only fundraiser (they opt out of popcorn sales). In our subdivision we have our "regulars" who have bought from oldest son the past 3 three years. This year DH took advantage of having our Scouts sell wreaths in the Narthex of the church following Mass and he got the first weekend after 8:45 and 10:15 which are the most popular.

Last year our sales total for E was $380. This year E sold $425 AND A sold $408. I was quite impressed with their efforts until I heard that places 1 & 2 were $1,100-ish, and even 6th place was $750.

There is a drawing at the November meeting for prizes. Places 1-5 get to pick from the items purchased, and then there is a drawing for prizes 6-11 and your number of chances is based on your sales performance.

Last year E's number was drawn and he brought home a blow up inflatable snow inner tube thing that brought him a lot of joy this past season. I was there for the first half of the Pack meeting because I've been drafted to co-leader for E's den but needed to leave to get my girls from dance.

A's number was chosen and he picked the orange version of the Chicago Bear's jersey (#6-Cutler) and was VERY happy with his selection. I saw that and that thought he was very precious. Apparently E was called as the second to last place and he picked the last remaining "cool" prize which is a RipStick - some sort of aerodynamic skateboard with swivel wheels the bends in the middle. Yikes, not happy with that one, but he is as thrilled as can be and my kitchen has been turned into some sort of rink.

My comment about laziness refers to my own. I have in the closet in our middle bedroom my girls' old solo dresses. DH asked if I was planning on selling those to bring in some money to replenish the EXTRANEOUS DANCE FUND category in our budget. Honest question. He said, "You're not holding onto those for sentimental value, are you?" I had to respond honestly, "No, I'm just lazy." It's bothered me all night that I have probably $1,500 worth of dresses there.

This season I've spent so far:
$380 for three wigs - all brunette - one split curl for younger daughter's solo dress, two tight curl brunettes for ceili/choreography where all dancers look the same
$500 for younger daughter's school dress
$1,950 for younger daughter's new solo dress (in reality I spent $650 because her old solo dress yielded me $1,300)
$10 for shoe repair to younger daughter's hard shoe

I am still looking at
$150 for tailoring of daughter's new dress and
$750 for older daughter's custom school dress (there are apparently no dancers 5'7" and 90 pounds who have dresses to be resold).

The only good thing is after this round of expenses, we're good for Nationals in July.

I was recently asked if oldest son would like to play hockey - and this is the male equivalent of Irish dance with sticks/skates/equipment/etc. I was very relieved when son said he'd rather do Hapkido with his non-skating friend. I don't think my budget or mindset can handle another cult-like activity.

Why is it when I am willing to part with my money, I can't find the right items to make it worth-while?

I think it is my money karma getting me.

ETA: The items that I was looking to buy are birthday and Christmas gifts for my daughters.

Then I forgot my coupon for the Family Christian Store, so I didn't buy my Christmas cards OR my MIL's birthday and Christmas gifts. BAH!

that I am thankful for many things, including SA. When I came here many years ago (several blog versions ago), I felt like I was alone in a vacuum worrying about lack of funds and just in a general sad/dark place, not realizing that I myself can cast a pall or a shadow on things that really aren't there. Anyhow, in my time here, using this is as a place to blurt out dumb posts (most of which I read, realized how ridiculous they sounded and promptly deleted), I've moved to a place that is much more cheerful. I've met cyberly like-minded folks who have made me feel more normal. I attended the financial freedom seminar with my husband that also helped tremendously - it brought us to a place of a shared vision and two and a half years later, we're still in that good place, haven't lost much of our steam or progress.

I had a celebration at my mom's last Thursday before she headed out of town to visit my grandmother. I had a wonderful triple-chocolate whammy cake after Italian beef sandwiches. My gifts were the sweater that I pined away for because it was more than I wanted to spend, and an olay pro Rx advanced cleaning system (thanks Mom!) and two Yankee Candles which are Christmas scents. My kids and DH shopped at the Family christian store on Sunday, so I'm anticipating another angel for my collection. Bless the 9 year old who said conspiratorily to his sisters, "Get the catalog. There's coupons on the back. Our money will go farther."

I also received a card and check from my father. That was a surprise, and I'm still tossing that one around so I can't comment much. I guess that he loves me to the much of his ability, and that would be sending me money.

So, I am thankful for my healthy and happy family and friends, for the growth that I achieve, for the wise decisions that I hopefully continue to make, for the joy in my heart and for realizing that each year makes me value the gift of my life more.

Today was the day that I made my broadcasting debut - well, the segment containing my discussion was recorded to be aired at a later date.

The topic had to do with Catholic money management principles, in particular Canon Law and how it applies to tuition being included under the umbrella of tithing. There is a specific Canon Law stating that Catholic education should be supported, but that appears to be in direct contradiction with tuition being included in tithing under a different Law. I come from the school of thought that stewardship includes your time, talent and treasure (money) and that as long as one gives as you give freely of these, you're fine. I can say that we don't give 10% of our money, but between our volunteer work within the church we give WAY more than 10% of our time. And of course it all really varies on an individual level and more than one intrepretation of Canon Law exists and can be used to substantiate either end of the argument (that tuition should or shouldn't be included).

I like the fact that my thoughts and ideas actually aren't a vast wasteland of useless information (I sometimes feel that way) and I can contribute and discuss intellectual ideas and content. I sometimes think that I underestimate my abilities, seeming that I'm in that phase of life of lunch room duty, school store coverage, stuffing envelopes, and computer entry. I do hold a position at my parish as co-cordinator of the summer youth programs and am heavily involved with the Cub Scouts (in a secretarial/organizational way rather than a leadership standpoint). Anyhow, it was kind of nice to hear my name and banter about ideas.

Fiscal fitness: Paycheck was deposited today, and I paid the mortgage. After rent is collected tomorrow, I have $700 for dance expenses that I'm still waiting on. It was very interesting to talk to my ob/gyne today (a Catholic father of 10) who was appalled that the sport of Irish dance is starting to rival Jon Benet Ramsey, Toddlers and Tiaras sport with less emphasis on dance ability and more on what the dancer looks like.

Anyhow, productive day. All for now.

I took my two lamps and mirror over to "The Perfect Thing" which is the consignment store in Wheaton, IL and is featured on TLC's "What the Sell". I didn't have the pleasure of dealing with the quirky grandmother Gloria or the mother Judy, rather the very professional daughter Kate.

I had to wait about 15 minutes because I didn't have an appointment and she was going through two boxes of someone's treasures. I figured that it didn't look good for me and my two oddity lamps and over-the-top Saddam Heussien palace mirror from my gold and gaudy bedroom that I suffered through for SIX years. I wasn't sure if they were still filming for the show, so I made an effort to look trendy and put together, rather than my normal no make-up, hair in jaw clip tired mother look. If you're wondering: no, they didn't film me. just kidding! about the

So I asked if she'd like to see my lamps and mirror. She said she would. So I went out to the minivan and brought in one lamp and my mother carried in the mirror. Lots of oooohs and aaahs from Kate and the staff at my odd chicken/rooster lamps with their funeral-inspired shades of black silk. "Very unique." "I *LIKE* those." etc. More with my mirror.

I entered into a consignment agreement with Kate and they have 90 days to sell my items. The lamps she said she'd price at $400-$500 for the pair, and $350-$400 for the mirror. So, if there is someone out there that likes these items and will pay full price for them, I'm looking at $375-$450 after our 50-50 split. Not bad for hand-me-downs from my biological father.

Not all of his taste is different, bad, and odd. He did help me pick out a $2,000 Theodore Alexander settee that I absolutely LOVE. I also have a resverse painted mirror that hangs above my Theodore Alexander settee and it is *the* picture spot in the house.

http://www.theodorealexander.com/ProductDetail.aspx?ItemID=472a1a60-278c-4266-9781-c17689ba7f1e

I had pictures of the rosewood opium daybed that I'd like to part with as well, though most likely I'd offer it back to my father because he loved it so much and it sadly didn't fit his country manor English Tudored home. Kate said she'd take it for consignment. On a good day, I could expect $700-$1,500; however, if it doesn't sell I could go as low as $250 if she's desperate to sell AND I'd have to pay $95 for moving it. Her honest suggestion was to try and sell it on my own, and that would probably be the best way to get the most money.

Oh, the treasures that I'm parting with. Now let's hope for some MAJOR money.

If your bored, go check out the website for the store, talk about a treasure trove of things and stuff and more stuff! I'm not sure the website, but if you search The Perfect Thing in Wheaton, IL, you'll find it.

Wow! Time is a-flying by! I am comparing my mindset/stress-level with last year and I'm in a better place. I suppose it helps that I'm not hosting Thanksgiving and a big party and then two days of grueling dance competitions (I'm not the dancer - obviously - but the waiting is looong!) This year my brother is hosting Thanksgiving, I'm doing a medium party, and the days of dance are compounded that both my girls are ceili dancers (8-hand figures) and my younger daughter is in choreography. But I'm being organized and not stressing about things I have no control over - like when my older daughter is getting her school dress for ceili and other odd stuff, mostly dance related

I'm not hoarding the money anymore and parting with what I have regularly and realizing that not touching savings or credit card IS the accomplishment here. I paid the $380 to the credit card for the wigs (three of them, staple for Irish dancers) and I paid $500 by check for my younger daughter's dress. One more dress and upgrade on dress to pay for. $320 remains, will be $700 on Friday (after I pay mortgage and fund living expense account).

Today I'm taking my lamps and mirror to the store featured in "What the Sell". I let my mother put a small crimp in my plans with her little quip about my father finding out where his gifted items went and disinheriting me. I decided to only laugh it off rather than ponder and mull. The funny thing is my mother is coming with me to sell these items (I'd be happy with $200 for the lot). DH and I are essentially estranged from my biological father (though it will be interesting to see if he remembers my birthday, or should I say "acknowledge" my birthday. My relationship with him was always contingent on something or someone else. I guess I remind him of my mother who he apparently hates. Who knows. At least as a parent I've learned what unconditional love should look like. - How is all that for a mental side-track ) And he has been known to walk through my house admiring all of the things he has given, even if these items are in my bedroom. No boundaries whatsoever.

I'm also planning on taking my jewelry in tomorrow so we'll see how much capital I can raise to help supplement the dance expenses.

Also being bit by the de-cluttering bug - bag of trash to go to dumpster, bag of stuff to go to Good Will, lots of stuff to go to our friends with children (clothes/toys/books/etc), and then this round of stuff going to the consignment store.

DH is on a serious dieting/exercise/fitness way of life. We're eating less carbs and grains, having eggs and omlettes for breakfast, less processed and refined foods are coming in, and I'm drinking less coffee. I don't own a scale (having had some obsessive issues with the scale in the past) and haven't been on one in months. I was hanging out in the high 130's. Last week I was surprised when I bought a skirt on major clearance for $17 which was a 4P. I was quite surprised when it fit nicely without the panty-girdle contraption that I sometimes wear. And in all honesty it was more a 4/6 rather than a 2/4. BUT a 4 is a 4, right? Anyhow, I weighed myself at my mother's and I was a mere 132 (after a lot of Halloween candy for the preceding week and being mostly fully dressed). I am almost to the 120s. I think I can do it and have the goal of 125 by 12/31.

Mostly it comes down to wise decisions, right? Like food or money, sometimes the one that yields us the best results isn't the most fun decision at the time.

Off for the day! Little mind after this ramble.

I'm not telling many people in my real world, but here in my secret world of cyber-friends, I'll share.

I am going to be discussing the interpretation of Canon Law 222 with Phil Lenahan, author of "Seven Steps to Financial Freedom", more specifically how it can/cannot be applied to the philosophy that Catholic school tuition is/isn't to bne considered part of tithing. Can you tell I am a total dork for Canon Law? Time for me to spend less time with seminarians and the newly ordained; I could easily forsake the secular world for the sacramental one!

Anyhow, the discussion will be taped and aired at a later time. Now I'm off to rework my argument.

This week I am on the hunt to raise some capital. The car purchase and the moving of EF fund to Chase bank has left my saving account quite naked with a mere $1,200. We have upcoming dance competition (the Mid America championships, pre-Nationals) so I know that I have a dress upgrade, a used purchase, I've put new wigs on the credit card (though I've subtracted that already from available funds), etc.

I have some jewelry - a gold necklace with some diamonds and a sapphire ring that I'm thinking about parting with - or at least seeing how much I'd be able to get. Not part of my dilema.

Here is the dilema part - I have two rare and odd lamps and a mirror from my biological father that didn't work in his house (he lives in a rambling mansion sort of English-inspired country house and I live in a 1970s brick split level) and I've since changed the decor of my bedroom from gaudy gold over the top to a cool and soothing blue/brown combo. I should add that DH used to work my father and they had a nasty parting of ways - not much of a consequence to me since I emotionally divorced myself from my father ages ago. I did go out to lunch with him (father) and brother in June - other than that, don't see or talk to him. He really doesn't have much of an interest in me or my children. It is sad, but I've moved on.

I'd like to sell these items to the place featured on TLC's WHAT THE SELL, and I think that I could get probably $250-$300 for the lot of these items.

My mother believes that I should offer these back to my biological father because they were gifts. I disagree. He gave them to me. She is afraid he will be insulted if he ever comes to my home again and he'll disinherit me from the will. He is odd in his thinking like that and my mother was married to him for ten years. I should add that I have an awful piece of furniture in my living room that I would offer to return to him before I sold it - but with that we're talking over a thousand dollars.

I'm going to move to sell, but what do you think?

As if I don't spend regularly on necessities of life (read: gas and groceries, and a few diversions to the resale store).

I applied for another Citibank Card - spend $500, get $100. I've already spent $150 on the card for Christmas gifts for sons (Lego! Lego! Lego! Ninjago and Harry Potter, no less!)

I have a coupon for $10 off of $50 at the Vera Bradley outlet and I'm getting both girls wristlets. I hope I can find something for my mom, because I doubt the two wristlets will put me at $50, probably more like $35-$40.

I am finding that I'm much more diligent on items for the Christmas this year, buying with a purpose.

How is your shopping coming?

Oh, wait ... that was Monday, Monday.

Anyhow, the cold and depressing weather is upon us. Sheets of cold rain, rustling leaves from wind-whipped branches, and a general dark gray is cast on my neighborhood. The kids took the bus yesterday, and today opted for a ride with DH rather than be in the cold and rain.

There really isn't much going on. This weather makes me want to hibernate, and today I have an excuse. I have to devote some time to a cross-stitch project that my mom is taking to my grandmother in California. I plan on watching "Poldark" on DVD and setting about some serious stitching to complete this.

Yesterday I got caught up on paperwork for Scouts - both the Tiger and Webelos. Got current on who has achieved what and who needs to do what. It is the start of a new quarter, so schoolwork is sort of minimal at this time, though I'm encouraging more reading, reintroducing Dr. Suess for the new reader and books on tape, too.

Money-wise, not much going on. My trip to Sam's Club last Friday was for a whopping $375. I should add that my cupboards were bare completely with no staples, produce, meat, etc. $90 of that was paper towels, toilet paper, dog food, laundry detergent and generic allery stuff. I skipped the clothing and books aisles (I can always find stuff that aren't needed items). And most of that will carry over throughout the month, so I haven't had to set foot in a store since then, and will only need milk in a few days.

I had to buy three wigs for the Oireachtas - younger DD is upgrading to a white dress and is pale, so we put her in a brunette wig which she'll wear with this dress. Both girls are team dancers and all are in dark brown tight-curled wigs. I can't complain, we are running with the big boys at this competition level, and it only gets worse the higher up you go. I spent $32 on blister socks which are like a second skin that go under the dance socks. The girls like these and save time and money on wrapping feet and buying boxes of blister band-aids. We are 22 says away from competition, and yesterday I listened to Irish dance music for over an hour while my girls practiced in the basement. Have I mentioned that I live in Brigadoon the month of November?

Well, that is all - sort of a mind dump of sorts. Off to find my needle and floss.

I moved $11,500 of my EF to Chase for their offer of $150 deposit on the 91st day after moving and maintaining a minimum of $10K in a savings account.

My money moved into the new place on 10/11. The interest was credited on 10/24 to the tune of $0.04. Sad, sad, sad. On the 92nd day, my money will move back to PNC Bank where it came from and earned at least in the dollar column.

My 7-year old saw the statement on the table and is learning about place value rather than money. He counted from the first digit and proudly declared I was a millionaire with $1,150,004. Not! But funny, funny, funny!

http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/lagrange/features/x780391956/Indian-Head-Park-girl-found-stabbed-to-death


Last week a beautiful 14-year old girl was murdered. She was the friend of my daughter's friend and her name was Kelli O'Laughlin. She came home during a home invasion and was fatally stabbed. Her mother found her at 5:40 in the afternoon. She lived in Indian Head Park, IL in a house valued near $500,000 - two suburbs over from where I live.

My oldest was home sick today after a night of wheezing from asthma and vomiting. I wouldn't let her stay home by herself when I needed to be at the school's Halloween party for the 4th graders.

Life goes on, and Halloween parties still happen. I have children trick-or-treating. What is different this year? Cell phones are a must. If you don't call me every 20 minutes, I will call you and if you don't answer I will canvas the neighborhood looking for you. The groups must have four minimum and there will be no trick-or-treating after dark. My husband had to leave work early to take the boys trick-or-treating with a family friend whose boys match up with ours. I've noticed lots more adults out this year, and more dogs, too.

No one is in custody, though there are rumors that a man was being questioned. So difficult to stay positive when such things are happening.

My bedroom has turned into a commune with kids in sleeping bags all over the floor. They don't feel safe. We've got a dog who barks and that is a small measure of assurance.

Anyhow, for those of your that pray and believe in the power of prayer, please keep this family in your prayers. And please pray that Kelli is at peace with God and is in the loving arms of her Savior Jesus.

Payday and rent collection day are today. Paycheck was deposited and rent should be there. The balance went down to $8 again - but we were in the black.

Our savings/bank balance is bare, naked, depleted, empty. How fast that $30,000 evaporated! I transferred $11,500 to Chase for the $150 credit on the 91st day of maintaining a $10,000 balance.

We bought the new minivan on Monday and paid for it Tuesday. $17,000 out the door - list price was $16,895 and was reduced to $15,430 and then after tax/new plate/doc fee we were right at $17,000. We paid $14K cashier's check and put $3K on credit card. I paid the $3K as soon as it hit and then redeemed for a $25 Target gift card. Anyhow, I *LOVE* the car. My poor kids are so out of what new cars offer that we had to laugh when they were genuinely shocked that the windows in the middle row of the minivan actually go down part ways! And the middle row is bucket seats/captain chairs so there is less arguing on who gets to sit in the front/"cool" seat. And this car offers side-impact air bags which I love, I guess that is only available with the Odyssey. Anyhow, *love* *love* *love* the purchased car. So sad that the balance is down, but will build it up again.

Paid $1,500 to the credit card that did the balance transfer. That is half of what my goal was for the remainder of the year. Should be able to get another $1,500 on it with Nov/Dec money plan.

There is $1,000 in the extraneous fund and I am dedicating that to dance expenses and expenses for the rest of the year.

Mother Hubbard is the quality that I'd use to describe my kitchen cupboards. Though I stretched the last of what we had to keep people fed and not complaining. Last night was breaded chicken breasts, buttered mini shell noodles with Parmesan cheese, and either canned carrots or frozen Normandy blend. I had one last box of muffin mix for breakfast. I am now officially out of all fresh or canned fruit, milk, eggs, AND butter, sugar, laundry detergent, any frozen pre-made food (that I made and froze). We're down to the last two bags of raisin bran and there is no yogurt. This will be one huge shopping trip to Sam's Club.

I'm continuing on in the capacity of co-cordinator for my parish's children's summer programs (one we plan and execute, the second we pay for and oversee). It is quite time consuming, coming closer to the actual dates. It has been in a volunteer capactiy, though this year there was talk of trying to pay me, but no money remained in the budget - but we were given a grant of $5,000 in tuition for the kids' school. So I'll continue on in this capacity and will receive an additional grant NEXT year, it all works out. And my 8th grade daughter was made aware of a $20,000 scholarship for high school tuition that she should qualify for (27 children each year recieve them). It is nice when our faith-infused life meets financial help, given the cost of tuition and how much DH and I volunteer.

Still feeling fine, and in control. Boundaries and parameters certainly help my family function in peace, rather than chaos. I'm allowing less intrustions - not taking phone calls at inopertune times from needy friends (though the one high maintenance friend seems to have dealt with her issues and is requiring less hand-holding).

Enoug for the brain dump - if you're still reading this Hope everyone has a glorious weekend and Halloween fun!

I tend to be a planner, and don't do well with things foist upon me. I'm *trying* to be flexible and more in the moment versus "ok, sure, but next week."

I co-lead the Cub Scouts for the 4th grade. I've been a secretary of sorts but as the years have past I've been upgraded to event planner and chaperone, too. The actual leader needed to go out of town unexpectedly and I ended up doing the service project for good citizenship to Feed My Starving Children.

Confession: The Christmas song "Feed the World" always makes me cry. Hungry people in Africa when we're indulging in ham and cookies leads right to be well-developed sense of occasional Catholic guilt.

I did it - sent out the confirming email - coordinated efforts with a second driver, found the seven Scouts, and drove the 16 miles to the nearest "Feed My Starving Children" site. We were a few minutes late, but got scrubbed and our hair nets on. We spent the next 90 minutes preparing bags of a powdered chicken/freeze dried veggies/heaping cups of soy and rice which were then weighed, sealed, and packed in boxes. We shared the room with about 60 other individuals. We ended up making enough meals to feed 70 children for a year.

This food goes to Haiti and Africa and Sounth America. I loved that we prayed over the food for safe passage, for the people who transport it, for those who are in greatest need of it, those that prepared it. I love the fact that my group of fourth graders *got* it, and were careful and respectful and diligent in carrying out their tasks.

We tasted the end product which was like baby food chicken rice dinner, not at all bad. To think that such a meal is a blessing to people makes me feel somewhat humbled.

This was definitely a worth-while event. Lesson to self: Keep an open mind and an open heart. Look past your own need for a controlled schedule. If you wouldn't have stepped up, this wouldn't have happened and these boys wouldn't have had the wonderful experience that they did.

Good bye big bank account. Hello good buy - as in 2010 Kia Sedona with 20K miles and five years remaining on warranty. One owner, drives great, as close to brand, spanking new as we want (or need).

Its been listed on the Internet for well over a month, and is at a smaller satellite dealer that I drive past twice a week taking my girls to dance. DH drove it yesterday and put a deposit down. We did the haggling over the phone, well not really the haggling. I had $19K to spend, and decided I wanted to spend no more than $17K. I called and spoke to someone who happened to be the store manager (I didn't know that).

I said I knew the car had been there over a month, and I knew the Internet price was $16,895. I stated that I had $14K cash and I knew the maximum I could put on a credit card was $3K from my last car purchase. (I only did this to rack up some points for the rewards program). If they could work with me so I spent no more than $17K totale out the door, I'd consider seriously buying it the next day. I knew the safety ratings, etc, and this was my desired car. And if they couldn't do it, not a problem, I would continue to look and wait.

I found out that where I live (my suburb) isn't exactly a Kia demographics - it is more Siennas and Odysseys rather than Sedonas. Fine by me. So I pick up the car later today.

And while I'm plunkering down money, my younger daughter competes at the highest category for the midwest championships and the teachers don't want her in last year's dress. She is upgrading to this:




So I'll take this down later today for overall privacy, but I wanted to share.

Money Update: In the past, my money used to come in every Friday: rent one Friday, payday the next Friday - regularly like clockwork. Tenant started a new job and there was a wait for the paycheck and now we presently get both rent and payday on the *same* Friday. Having a difficult time str-e-tch-ing out the funds to make it through the last week.

I have $30 remaining and really only need some milk and possible gas on Thursday. I'm feeling spendy, and have nothing to spend! I like the irony in that, but will have to channel by energy into other productive things.

Confession: My twelve-year old had dance class for 5 hours yesterday (gearing up for Midwest Championships on Thanksgiving weekend) and she was tired today so I let her stay home from school. She went back to bed. She's a good student with good grades, works hard, and I am not sure if it qualifies as a "good mother" move or a "bad mother" move?

Halloween Spending: I spent $43 from the Extraneous fund on a Halloween costume for older daughter and Halloween candy. I also spent $43 in Target gift cards on costumes for the boys. Done spending for Halloween. Younger daughter got a costume on line on clearance in August for $10. Under $100 which is what I usually spend.

Holiday Plans: MIL is apparently being overly dramatic in her discussions with DH about holiday planning of *any* sort. My brother is hosting Thanksgiving this year and I suggested inlaws come in on Wednesday so we'll be on time and not waiting for them. MIL was very "And whose idea is this? Is it OK with *L* (me)?" and on and on. Must keep my mouth shut, laugh and move on. No sense bowing down to certain levels and catering to one's hurt feelings (when they really needn't be hurt).

Appreciation: Baked both banana bread and cinnamon breakfast bread and shared with oldest son's teacher. He has some learning challenges and she is really good at reading him and knowing just the right thing to say to minimize anxiety and frustration. On Friday I saw her at school and she said, "You know, I love your little guy just like he was my own" and then went on to share a "tear to your eye" moment about him exhibiting self-confidence. I've realized it is important to let people know that you appreciate them, and this was a wonderful moment that she didn't have to share with me, but did.

Getting ready to get serious about participating in the purge challenge. I shudder to think that more stuff is going to be coming in over the holidays! (Note to self: this is funny, given your desire to spend money today.)

Hope everyone has a great day!

For the first time in several days, there is sun. It is streaming through my windows (which are is sore need of some cleaning) and I'm feeling fine, no residual effects of a funk anywhere.

And this is after an incessant stream of chronic complainers that I've encountered this morning. The first one deemed that Honey Nut Cheerios are the ONLY cereal she doesn't eat. No sense complaining, I removed her bowl of cereal and told her to get dressed. I'm not engaging in banter about trivial things. She seemed a bit shocked that I didn't try to lovingly coax food into her. She's going to be 14 and won't starve. So she left and got dressed, though her father did bring her apple slices and peanut butter toast when she was reading.

The second one complained that he was given the wrong uniform shirt - I can't help it that I have three that wear light blue shirts and that I have them in sizes XS, S, and M. And guess what? With that many shirts, you might end up in someone else's shirt that is either too small or too big. My solution to head off the "Do you want me to be uncomfortable in this?" flip comment, was met with "Here is a shirt that is yours. But before you put it on, I am putting your initials on the tag on the inside. You will only wear shirts that are tagged as yours!" Of course this will work until there are a new crop of shirts next year, but at least there is nothing to argue about going forward.

I've found my assertive button - not to be confused with aggression button. I've fixed two situations that were a bit bothersome:

(1) Inlaws' visit at Christmas. The compromise won't really work looking at it afterall. Too much infusion of the inlaws prior to the actual holiday (even arriving on Christmas Eve) will cause chaos. DH and I are up late when the kids go to bed putting out gifts. We watch TV and have fun. My Christmas morning is leisurely, in PJs, with kids - cooking and playing. Will I really want to laze in my robe until my oldest daughter and I make our annual batch of Holiday Peppermint Bark? No. SO - with that - I told DH I thought it was best if we stick to our normal tradition of his parents coming on Christmas Day and we continue our tradition of going to the Museum of Science and Industry on the 26th. He suprisingly agreed, and MIL pouted a bit, but then said "OK, fine." She has played the "hurt and wounded poor me, you're my only child" card before and I'm pleased to say it didn't work. HELLO, CHRISTMAS!!

(2) I let the tenant know that I will no longer be accepting "late or partial payments". DH is picking up the last 1/3 of the rent today, and I let her know that the full payment needs to be on the 28th (the next scheduled due date). She acknowledged that she'll see DH today in her return message and I think she got the message though she didn't necessarily say anything about the 28th.

OK, that is it. I'm off to get my house in order - mess sort of built up after the unexpected root canal. I've got playdates for the boys after school and sleepovers for the girls and a busy weekend ahead.

Hope everyone has a good day!

My "desk" used to be an impractical computer armoir and it has since been replaced by an oak library table so my monitor and printer and out and there is some work space for kids' papers, etc. My reference section is comprised of a Catholic Bible with a green cover and blue writing and a tattered Handy Standard Dictionary and Atlas that was my great grandmother's from the 1920s.

I'm getting my definitions from the dictionary:

FLOUNDER (v) To stumble or struggle awkwardly or helplessly.

FLOURISH (v) To thrive, prosper, live; to swing or wave about.

I've decided that I must combat the "funk" that I find myself in. (Just to note, FUNK isn't found in my vintage dictionary). The weather certainly doesn't help, nor does the recent recoveries from dental issues, but the weather isn't going to change and I don't face any pressing dental issues, so I've got to shake myself out of it.

The new dryer arrived on Tuesday and for the first time, every single item of clothing is clean and dried and put away. I no longer have to worry about if my clothes need to hang outside to dry or go into the basement to hang. There is a certain degree of liberation in that I don't need to predict the clothing needs so closely.

I noted in my previous post that my kids seem to all need clothes at the same time, which is a real bummer because there are quite a few of them. The littlest guy got some hand-me-downs but still needed jeans and sweats (I am surprised that the knees NEVER hold out). I took myself shopping yesterday - and I hit the two local resale shops, one where the proceeds benefit the Domestic Violence Shelter and Outreach in my county and the other was Salvation Army.

I spent $21 between the two places and ended up with: two pairs of uniform pants for the oldest plus two shirts and a pair of pjs for the same child, a pair of jeans for the youngest, and a shirt for DH. I've embraced the "Flourish" (even if a frugal mode) rather than "Flounder" and bemoan. The wardrobes won't appear overnight, but I can build them up $15 bucks here and $15 bucks there.

My frugal move for the day: Taking DH's pair of shoes to be resoled - they're expensive hand-me-downs from my brother and to replace them with cheapos from Payless probably would cost about the same.

OK, I'm gonna force myself out of the funk - even though the weather looks cold and miserable and I WANT to go back to bed.

Obviously not a lot of money stuff going on here, more about my mental state - but it does all fit together I suppose.

Confession: Yesterday I ended up with a suprise root canal, my second one in a month. I also had two teeth extracted within the same time period. Lest you think that I am a hilljilly and know next to nothing of oral hygiene, that is not the case. I have next-to-no enamel due to grinding and my last unsuccessful pregnancy last year left me with 16 weeks of constant reflux and apparently the stomach acid ate right through everything. Then combine that with major dental anxiety and you have ... me!

I went back to our dentist/friend who has assured me that the teeth remainin in my mouth are all healthy and the worst is over. The Endodontist that I saw charge $350 for my portion. Yesterday was only $150. And I don't know if it this is true or not, but the dentist/friend said (1) I was a good patient and did considerably well, given my behavior (stressed) in the past, and (2) it was a perfect root canal on his part, he was quite pleased with himself.

OK, so I had another lost evening doped up on Vicodin, though I think I did listen to most of the biggest loser. And I slept through the night. Today I'm not as sore as the last root canal, so I'm hoping to make it out to CVS for milk and Target for DH's Rx.

Have you noticed that there aren't that many coupons for gift cards with Rx tranfers out there floating around any more? CVS used to have them all of the time, and I was queen of switching Rxs from place to place just for free money.

I'm still feeling a bit funky today (yesterday's post was about floundering rather than flourishing).

DH told me that his parents are planning on coming on 12/23 and staying through Christmas. That just can't be an option and I had to tell DH had we need to spend some time alone with my family, and our own nuclear one - so we compromised and they'll come from Michigan on the 24, arriving in time for Mass on Christmas Eve. My favortie times at Christmas are those with just my family - the one I've co-created. The rest of the family just comes innately with their own drama. I'm not even feeling bad about being vocal about their arrival date/time.

Money-wise, I think we'll make it with the remaining $158 until Fri the 28th. The sale ads for tomorrow came out yesterday and I've done a quite scan (pre-Vicodin induced haze) and there are some good deals.

My mother is substitute teaching all week and is usually around to help. She's bringing bagels and cream cheese for Great American Bagel, so lunch and breakfast is taken care of.

That is all for now. Thanks for reading my ramble, if you made it this far.

OK, I'm finding myself in that funk again - the one where I worry about losing my house should DH become unemployed and unable to find another job.

Can't quite figure where or why this is coming from - DH hasn't eeked any sentiment about potential job loss, rather there has been a voluntary departure of an employee which has shifted a lot of work to DH's boss and himself.

We've discussed that when we buy another car in after we return the loaner to his friend at the end of Dec, that maybe we'll just go with a smaller car. We're finding that the gas goes MUCH farther and we can still cram all the kids in certain makes/models and don't necessarily need ANOTHER minivan. That will leave more money in the EF.

My kids are growing like weeds, and all of the sudden no one has any clothes that fit. I had good luck at Goodwill finding jeans for the oldest, who now needs navy blue uniform pants because his knee has gone through yet another pair of pants. I've told everyone that they'll get an extra blanket for their beds and they'll have to sleep in summer PJs for awhile longer. Halloween costumes are coming from the dress up bin because I'm not buying anyone anything when there's plenty to chose from.

I'm throwing money at the debt, while building up the EXTRANEOUS category.

I've done a really good job keeping within my weekly spending limits. As much as I'd love to go to Sam's Club and stock up on produce/staples/snacks, I don't have $300 sitting around to fund that trip. Until then, I'm going to CVS for my $2.49 gallon of milk, and doubling up on ECB and Walgreens dollars for toiletries and some cereal.

I'm retiring HGTV for awhile, makes me want to spend and spruce up my house for the Fall/Holidays. Not good for those who want to be frugal!

I needed baggies/aluminum foil/index cards/ construction paper/dog food yesterday, and I headed to Dollar Tree. I only spent $5.95 and got everything I needed.

I'd like to kick this feeling and move on to flourishing, rather than floundering. Anyone else feel like this?

I've lived without a dryer for going on eight months now. I don't mind laundry. I don't complain, whine or fret. I make sure that daily everyone has clean what they need. Gym uniforms, Irish dance socks, soccer uniforms, etc. I routinely hang things outdoors on my deck (I have a gazebo type structure out there with lots of sturdy metal pieces) and if it's raining, my basement looks like, well, I don't know what it really looks like ... but clothes are strewn all over the beams on hangers. Anyhow, tomorrow my early birthday present is being delivered.

My grandmother is sending me a deluxe type of the line Whirlpool dryer with tons of bells/whistles, etc. It is a "smokin hot deal" from my brother's best friend's store because apparently this got separated from the companion washer and it is a favor to him to get rid of it. Hello clean clothes with minimal effort! I'm ready ...

My younger Irish dancing daughter was asked to compete with the U15 Choreography Dance group at her dance school. She dances U13 (under 13) and has recently done really well. The teacher considers this a favor to her, and isn't charging us. Got to love that - but it means she (younger daughter) dances from 12-5:00 on Sundays. Apparently until Thanksgiving (the weekend of the big competition) all my daughters were meant to do was dance, dance, dance. My friend said that she calls her "happy feet" because whenever my daughter visits her house, she routinely jumps and dances, and even her feet move when she's sitting. I have to love that dance is in her heart.

AND the biggest happy news in the money arena is that Nationals are being held in Chicago in July 2012. I won't have to wonder hwo I'm funding a trip to either Florida or Nashville where they've traditionally been. Daungter's dance teacher predict she'll easily qualify for Nationals, and all I'll have to do is drive 35 minutes.

Ok, long ago I stopped blogging to complain about others. I no longer harbor resentment towards others for the help that is given to them, because I indeed have been helped along the way and continue to be given financial help whether for me or my children. Gold star to Laura for growing up. I've also stopped blogging to ponder the financial carelessness of others because (1) it really isn't my business, and (2) I haven't been personally asked to help out financially. A second gold star for Laura.

This brings me the point of my post.

My best friend for 25+ years is single. She makes roughly $80K, is upside down on her condo/mortgage and second mortgage exceed the value by $15K-$20K, has student loans in the amount of about $30K in deferment or forbarence (not sure how to spell that properly), had credit card debt and is in a generally bad financial situation. I don't know what her budget is or how she spends money, other than it is in a foolish and irresponsible manner.

She's facing a second back surgery with a recovery time of up to two months. She isn't sure that her job will be held for her (it is in a hosptial and she splits her time between the OT Clinic and NICU) and lifting isn't a possibility during this time. She has disability insurance that would cover some of this with a projected shortfall of $400-$500 a month.

I advised her to:
(1) Make only the minimum payments on her credit card
(2) Limit her spending to what her income will be should she face a time of recovery and use that to build an EF (she doesn't have one)
(3) Look into the possibility of a room mate for her two-bedroom condo

She said she thought that bankruptcy made the most sense. I said I thought she made too much money for that and it didn't address her student loan at all. She jsut upgraded her used car to several years newer and simply added more years to the loan - the amount she paid stayed the same. She also bought a great digital camera on clearance at Costco.

She had initally approached the conversation like this: "I know we each have roughly the same amount of money coming in annually (True). I'm wondering what you think about my situation ..."

I did a good job not being judgmental, though I wanted to say some very pointed things.

She spent $10 on our trip to Panera (though it was lunch and dinner). And I'll admit to thinking "Gee, that would cover two pizzas and breadsticks from Little Ceasars which is what we spend on Pizza Nights at my house).

How would you have responded?
(

I am a "big bank" user - PNC. It stared out as National City which was bought out by PNC. I have no major complaints with PNC, except for the interest rate that they presently pay on savings accounts. I had an initial introductory rate that was high for the industry, now it is minimal.

Enter Chase into the picture. I was enticed by a coupon for $150 after opening a savings account with $10,000 and maintaining it for 90 days. On the 91st day, I'll receive the additional $150.

It was very simple to transfer a portion of my EF ($11,500 to be exact) to the checking account and open up the new savings account. Really no hitches to the pitch, just maintain the balance.

I had an interesting conversation with the personal banker setting up the account. He said that he noticed that the balances keep creeping up higher and higher in order to take advantage of the "special offers" - it used to be $5,000 - now it is $10,000.

I asked if a lot of people were coming in with this coupon to take advantage of this offer. He said suprisingly yes, and he wondered if the next round of coupon offers will apply to balances of $15,000 and more.

And if you are wondering, after I receive my $150 on 1/13/12, I'll be closing the account and returning the funds to PNC.

But $150 *IS* $150 after all.

Tomorrow is pay day and rent collection day (read as: Money Bonanza!!) and I started today with $37.30 remaining in the checking account.

After my expenditures today, I am over budget by $7.00.

I spent $12.50 in gas because I was, as husband says, "running on fumes".

I spent $4.10 on a coffee and muffin at Panera's. My best friend was in need of some attention after a doctor's appointment (diagnosed with two cerival herniations in her neck and possible surgery - tho only PT for now) left her worries about her finances should she need to go on disability.

I spent $28.00 at Play It Again Sports for a new-for-son driver and golf bag ($19 BEFORE 20% savings). He was in need of both of those before his first real golf outing on Saturday with DH.

I stopped at the library and got some things for the kids (Halloween books/wii games) and "All About Eve" for myself. Cheap entertainment!

OT: My dog is apparently having a bad dream in her sleep - it is VERY funny to watch her!

I finally feel 87% recovered from the mouth/teeth drama that has been plaguing my existence the past few weeks. DH did some snipping of stitches on Saturday - who would think that one piece of surgical thread hanging could feel like razor blades cutting gums when it was pulled accidentally by food (sorry for grossness if visual images followed) or by mere tongue movements. So, I am living a relatively pain-free and Vicodin-free existence.

My children are happy to have me back. Lessons they've learned:
(1) If Mom is asleep due to Vicodin and you try to wake her up and talk to her, you can have the same conversation THREE times, and each time she is genuinely surprised to hear what you have to say.
(2) If Mom is awake and in pain, it is best not to overstimulate her and try to butt in on other people's conversations. You *WILL* be snapped at, and you will hear "What happened to the manners that I taught you" more than once.

The kids had a four-day weekend and it was really nice. On Friday we went to Morton Arboretum and looked at their Scarecrow Festival. We had chocolate chip bagels for lunch from Great American Bagel. There was a Volleyball Game for younger daughter and her team won (our school has a no cut policy for sports and she is on the B Team - read as "less qualified players" - and they had their first victory). We had two soccer games on Saturday, plus a pep rally and birthday celebration for youngest. Sunday younger daughter competed at the Pat Roche Feis and she placed EXTREMELY well. Didn't place in her slip jig which led me to believe she didn't place at all - based on her assessment - she ended up taking 2nd out of 21 in her hard shoe, and 4th overall in the category.

I did a lot of cooking yeseterday, so dinner is taken care of for the next two days I have some bank and money business to take care of today. I'm the Birthday Reader this afternoon and tonight is busy, busy, busy with tutoring 5:00-6:00, dance 6:00-7:30, volleyball practice 6:30-7:45, and Knights of Columbus meeting from 7:30-whenever.

Hope everyone has a good day!