For the first time in several days, there is sun. It is streaming through my windows (which are is sore need of some cleaning) and I'm feeling fine, no residual effects of a funk anywhere. 
And this is after an incessant stream of chronic complainers that I've encountered this morning. The first one deemed that Honey Nut Cheerios are the ONLY cereal she doesn't eat. No sense complaining, I removed her bowl of cereal and told her to get dressed. I'm not engaging in banter about trivial things. She seemed a bit shocked that I didn't try to lovingly coax food into her. She's going to be 14 and won't starve. So she left and got dressed, though her father did bring her apple slices and peanut butter toast when she was reading.
The second one complained that he was given the wrong uniform shirt - I can't help it that I have three that wear light blue shirts and that I have them in sizes XS, S, and M. And guess what? With that many shirts, you might end up in someone else's shirt that is either too small or too big. My solution to head off the "Do you want me to be uncomfortable in this?" flip comment, was met with "Here is a shirt that is yours. But before you put it on, I am putting your initials on the tag on the inside. You will only wear shirts that are tagged as yours!" Of course this will work until there are a new crop of shirts next year, but at least there is nothing to argue about going forward.
I've found my assertive button - not to be confused with aggression button. I've fixed two situations that were a bit bothersome:
(1) Inlaws' visit at Christmas. The compromise won't really work looking at it afterall. Too much infusion of the inlaws prior to the actual holiday (even arriving on Christmas Eve) will cause chaos. DH and I are up late when the kids go to bed putting out gifts. We watch TV and have fun. My Christmas morning is leisurely, in PJs, with kids - cooking and playing. Will I really want to laze in my robe until my oldest daughter and I make our annual batch of Holiday Peppermint Bark? No. SO - with that - I told DH I thought it was best if we stick to our normal tradition of his parents coming on Christmas Day and we continue our tradition of going to the Museum of Science and Industry on the 26th. He suprisingly agreed, and MIL pouted a bit, but then said "OK, fine." She has played the "hurt and wounded poor me, you're my only child" card before and I'm pleased to say it didn't work. HELLO, CHRISTMAS!!
(2) I let the tenant know that I will no longer be accepting "late or partial payments". DH is picking up the last 1/3 of the rent today, and I let her know that the full payment needs to be on the 28th (the next scheduled due date). She acknowledged that she'll see DH today in her return message and I think she got the message though she didn't necessarily say anything about the 28th.
OK, that is it. I'm off to get my house in order - mess sort of built up after the unexpected root canal. I've got playdates for the boys after school and sleepovers for the girls and a busy weekend ahead.
Hope everyone has a good day!
Friday = Feeling Fine (Warning: Not much financial ahead)
October 21st, 2011 at 01:17 pm
October 21st, 2011 at 01:51 pm 1319205066
I particularly like the Christmas decisions.
That's what I need to do.
October 21st, 2011 at 02:33 pm 1319207592
Great job on Christmas! You've taken back the power!
The Honey Nut Cheerio story made me laugh. I walk that tightrope regularly too. Every time I go for "the hard line" DH and DD look confused at first, and then wary.
He'd slip her the toast and apple too.
October 21st, 2011 at 03:36 pm 1319211391
@ librarylady: The kids are 13, 12, 9, 7 and 6.
@ English Castle: Thanks for thinking of me this AM. Sunshine certainly makes one (me) feel tons better!
October 21st, 2011 at 04:12 pm 1319213568
Not being a parent, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to please children at times. I doubt I'd be very good at it.
I can certainly relate to your issues with the inlaws arriving early during the Xmas season, and I hear ya. Running helter skelter to visit all the different famiy relatives and/or having to entertain, feed and refresh them all at your home is not necessarily my idea of a good time.
As for your tenant, i think she needs to get her act together and you've been more than understanding if you've been accepting (and having to collect) three payments a month. Geez.
October 21st, 2011 at 04:15 pm 1319213755
Hmmm, that sounds familiar, though my MIL has other children AND other family locally.
Anyway, I am jealous that your MIL is slightly more sane. Even if just slightly.
& I put all the holiday drama out of my head all year round, until this time of year posts like this remind me. Ugh!
October 21st, 2011 at 08:32 pm 1319229156
Dear Joanne,
I respect my inlaws and the parents of my husband; they did a fine job raising him, or else I wouldn't be as happy as I am.
When I was a young mother, I was open to advise on how to care for a newborn. Now I am almost fourteen years past that point, and have given birth to an additional four surviving children. My MIL cannot compare the way she raiser her one with the way that I am raising my five. She has in the past shared opinions about me with others which have gotten back to me. I have embraced being a direct person, and if I have a problem with someone, I will tell them and attempt to resolve it from there.
The issue with coming for Christmas is that it doesn't respect other people's rights. For example, my mother prefers to host a small dinner (well, as small as it can be with a family my size) after Mass and exchange gifts. In the past, my parents gave us a very thoughtful gift of a large-screen TV (something we never would have bought ourselves). My MIL burst into tears and made a tantrum saying she "wished she could have given us such a grand gift". Because of numerous instances like that, it is best if each set of parents has time alone with us. Also, my family deserves alone time during the Holidays making our own traditions. And my inlaws have always come on Christmas Day, spending the afternoon alone with us and then having my family come over for Christmas Dinner. The inlaws spend the days after with us and we have our traditions with them. She is not excluded from all Christmas Events, she just isn't included in all of them.
We're a traditional Catholic family and I've struggled with the issue of respecting my mother in law (Titus 2 concept). I've realized that I must stand up for my own family that I am parenting now. My MIL parented her family, and now I am parenting mine.
Laura
October 21st, 2011 at 10:07 pm 1319234834
Even though I now (of course) wish I had tired harder with current DH's mother, especially now that she's gone, she wasn't exactly warm and welcoming to me. She kept a big 12X18 photo of DH and his first wife up in the living room for five years after we were married. She constantly critiqued my sisters-in-law in front of me, and I suspect me, in front of them. In retrospect I see that she had a very hard time, especially with other women. If I could have seen that earlier and not personalized her criticism, we would have been better off. But at least I had the sense to shut my mouth most of the time. I think it's a tricky tricky role.
October 21st, 2011 at 10:52 pm 1319237522
October 23rd, 2011 at 03:30 am 1319340629