Older daughter started high school today; actually "Orientation" (full day: casual dress, ID and yearbook pictures taken, locker assignments, etc). She was very excited and nervous all at once. DH and I had relive our fondest moments with her before she came down to breakfast. How fast time does fly!

Best friend is still very much in crisis mode (given her termination date was moved up about 28 days) leaving her income-less. She did consult a bankruptcy attorney yesterday and didn't like anything the lawyer had to say (short-saling her condo, etc). The only upside to that is she is looking at her entire picture. The good news is that she did accept a contract position at a few dollars an hour less than she is making now, but less hours. The job doesn't start until 9/1 and is much further out so she'll have to spend more on gas to commute.

In talking with her, I discovered that she cashed out a small IRA of $2,500 to cover her cash loss. I also discovered that she has been "too busy" to take care of the necessary paperwork to collect $4,500 of "found money" in her mother's name (she was the executor of the estate). I said in her time off I would definitely move on that because that could be her safety net (well at least half of it is hers, I think the other half goes to her sister who needs it just as much as she does), she is definitely living paycheck-to-paycheck. Her living situation is still up in the air. I also advised in her time off to lose her storage unit and go through it. Now is the definite time to purge and will save herself $80 a month. I also encouraged her to sell, sell, sell on craigslist. Time to lighten the load of life and simplify. So, it is my hope that she takes to heart some of my practical advice, rather than wallow.

Hard to believe that mid-month is upon us and everyone else is off to school on Monday!!

Hope everyone is enjoying the last days of summers!

Older daughter is off to freshman orientation tomorrow. We got her hair cut today (and she babysat her last day from 8:00 - 3:00). She's asked me to proof her Summer Reading assignments for honors English - lots of info to keep straight about Greek mythology. Its a lot of moral support for her.

And today is the day my best friend has officially fallen apart. Last Thursday she gave 30 days notice to her present job, thinking that would allow her enough time to find something comparable. She could go back to her old, old job and make probably $15K LESS THAN she was making now. And she thought she was relocating to a job with the same company in Denver so she signed a two-year lease to rent HER place (so she's essentially homeless come October 1st). Drama, drama, drama.

I knew I was in for something big when we got home and I saw that she called at 3:15, 3:22, 3:31, 3:33, 3:46, and 3:54. A bib lull, and then another call at 4:43. And the big news is: her boss has decided to accept her resignation as of TODAY, not granting her the 30 paid days she had initially requested and thought she was granting. She is irate and mad and "how dare they" and then the bemoaning that she will have NO MONEY coming in. *SIGH*

DH is off to a meeting with his fraternal order this evening and my girls and I watch "Dance Moms" and I'm listening to a book on tape with my boys. I imagine that I should invite her over, but I don't know if I'm up for an energy suck tonight. And, oh yes, I am dog sitting my mom and stepdad's high maintenance Yorkie Poo.

*BIGGEST OLE SIGH I CAN MANAGE*

to be attached with "Mary Hunt's Debt-Proof Living" book (purchased at Books-a-Million)

Dear *R*,

I've given some thought to your hope that I'd help you get your finances "on the road". I'm here to give you some advice on the things that worked for me, and I've found some great practical advice on how to handle things from this book. I don't think that things will automatically turn around in one fell swoop, but I do think that you should see some relief if you implement these small things on a daily basis.

I'm not comfortable with giving any specific advice. Our situations are entirely different (single gal versus stay-at-home mom), and ultimately only you know what your deep down goals are. How I allot my money (taking into account educating everyone) (our number one concern right now) will be different than how you allot yours.

I think that it would be wise to return to (previous job) if the position is still available simply because you know what you are returning to (and you'll be 2 minutes from *M* for *D* in case of emergency ) Granted the money isn't the same, but you'll have some peace of mind. I also think it is a good idea to see about rooming with *H*, that arrangement makes a lot of sense, too. Of course, you know that I'll help you move wherever and encourage you wherever you decide to work; it is just my opinion that sameness and stability is what you need now.

So, since I'd like to revisit Mary Hunt, maybe we can do a book club at Panera's? Next time, my treat.

Me

I just lost a very long and lengthy post (which maybe is a blessing in disguise because it was a brain dump about the situation my best friend is in (romantically, occupationally, residentially, and finally, monetarily).

I will just deal with the main money issue.

She has asked me point-blank to look at her entire money picture and "help" her. In the past, I've suggested Mary Hunt, Neil Atkinson, Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, etc. To no avail. I've suggested Microsoft Money, QUicken, YNAB, Mint. To no avail.

I suggested she see a financial planner. She can't afford it. My qualifications, according to her, I've participated and can lead the "Seven Steps to Financial Freedom" seminars (Catholic-based financial principles) and I've been on Catholic radio (talking about Canon law and how it can be interpreted to have parochial school tuition included as part of tithing).

She asked if she should file bankruptcy on her $20K credit card debt. She is a month behind on her mortgage and her student loan (of $80K) is in forbearance or deferment. I told her that I don't think she'd like what I have to say, and I don't know if I'm comfortable knowing her entire financial snapshot (it is more nakedness than I'm comfortable about). To this she said, "You know the last time I had sex and with whom. What can be worse than that?"

We don't think alike in all areas of life, and are rather polar opposites. She told me to think about it, but it would be a "big help to her". I told her that she needs to find gainful employment (she gave 30 days notice at her job last Friday and hasn't actually found another job). I told her that she need to find a place to live (she rented her condo and has to be out by 10/1).

What would you do? She's been my best friend for 25+ years (more like almost 30) and is Godmother to my fourth child.

In one of my last week's posts, I mentioned that my best friend is (once again) living a life that is in shambles. On the romance front, she has had a difficult brief relationship with a restaurant-owner from Turkey (non US citizens) whom she had a brief fling, leaving her thinking she was pregnant at 46. This wasn't the case, they reunited only for him to dump her (really break her heart since she hadn't dated in six years) for a women he had never met but had an online relationship with. So, there is trouble on the love front.

She has had a difficult time with steady employment, despite she is an OT that seems to be a booming field with lots of career opportunities. Starting in January she had a job outpatient pediatric, which she loved, but the boss was from Hell, so she quit. She signed up with an agency that placed her in a 13 week maternity leave assignment, that she was just barely able to complete due to the rigorous paperwork demands. She found herself this present job in a senior care facility, doing both inpatient and outpatient care (it is a set up where there is independent living and also assisted living). She can't deal with the boss here, so she has given her 30 days notice and is having two agencies actively attempting to place her (one is a school-based position in a suburb that isn't in the best neighborhood) and the other is out in boonies way west of here. So she's essentially going to be unemployed in 28 days.

She initially thought that she would relocate to Denver, seeking a transfer within the same company she works for now. Denver is out of the plans now, since the whole shooting, etc. In the interim of deciding to leave and then changing her mind, she rented her condo for a two-year lease that will cover her rent, insurance, taxes and home owners association + $100 a month. Well, she isn't leaving the area any more and doesn't have a place to live. She's like to rent this adorable house that will be on the market for another two weeks, and if they can't sell, they will consider renters. However, friend's credit situation might very well prevent her from renting this place. At $1,600 she'd need a roommate to cover the expenses on the place. So we have no stable living situations.

I can usually try to help her see what might be on the horizon, the online man from Denmark who really wants to meet her, the possible return to a school-based position where she is at least proficient, maybe she could afford the house she sees herself in. In doing so and trying to be upbeat, I realize that I've might have done her a real disservice.

She's a month behind on her mortgage. She wants to declare bankruptcy on her $20K in credit card debt. Her condo is upside down by probably $40K + her $15K home equity line. Her $80K student loan is in forbearance or deferment limbo because she can't afford to pay on it. She said to me, "Should I declare bankruptcy?"

I said that I wouldn't, not for $20K and she needs a budget. A spending plan. A goal. An overall picture of her entire situation. She said, "Will you help me?" I said that I thought she needed a more professional point of view. She said she couldn't afford it. I unfortunately have been through and am qualified to run a "Seven Steps to Financial Freedom", but that is through our parish and I don't even want to deal with it. She unfortunately knows I've been on Catholic radio discussing Canon Law and how parochial school tuition is considered part of the tithe. These in her mind qualify me to "help" her.

I said I didn't think she'd like what I have to say because my approach at problem-solving has never really been hand-holding. I've tried the scolding and scoffing with her for years and it never worked. She's presently taking a lot of Ativan and has stated that she is glad that she is of a strong moral character because otherwise she would consider ending it all because she is on the fence of ending it. To that (I am a psychotherapist, MS earned prior to children) I had to remind her that I would have to let people know that she was a threat to herself.

UGH! OK, if you were me, would you try to help her figure out her finances? She makes $78K, I run my family and life on $65 salary + $15K rental property income. For whatever reason, she figures that getting her money life in order will magically make everything else fall into place. I've tried to make recommendation on books to ready, Mary Hunt and Neil Atkinson and Dave Ramsey. To no avail. I've talked about using Quicken, Microsoft Money, YNAB or Mint for having a track of what she is spending/doing. To no avail. I don't know how much more I have to offer. But, what if she is finally in dire straights and ready to deal with this? And I'm saying "NO".

ETA: She has underlying issues that she's addressed in therapy in the past, and she has an understanding of how her background has affected her present decision-making, though she hasn't really put what she's learned into effect. I have encouraged her to see someone other than her primary care about medication management and therapy. This is purely stepping in and looking at her financial picture. I don't think I want to do it.

Things here, money-wise, appear to be on auto-pilot. On target to reach goal for income taxes on-time, then I'll start tackling the goals for the remainder of the year:
(1) $1K to debt
(2) $1K to savings
(3) $1.5K to 2013 property tax payments
(4) $750 to high school tuition (leaving $850)
(5) $750 to elementary school tition (leaving $850)
I've gone so far as to make a spreadsheet with eight boxes (I'm accomplishing these in eight bimonthly payments (I think that it is "bimonthly" meaning twice IN the month and not EVERY second month, but correct me if I'm wrong)

Best friend is falling apart (again), found love with a Middle Eastern man who dumped her, hates her new job, decided not to relocate after finding a long-term renter (two year lease) for her place, and is a month behind on her mortgage (though she worked it out with the bank it is still showing up on her credit) and it will most likely prevent her from renting the over-her-budget adorable little house in a nice suburb. She's having issues with high blood pressure and I actually suggested she go the ER beause I was afraid of a stroke (it was 160 on top and her head was feeling 'wierd'). I think I've finally gotten to the point where I don't feel so "intruded upon" by her neediness. I'd rather have more contact for a minimum of time (three calls of 10 minutes versus one 30 minute call at dinner time). I've made an effort to have her over more (she came for dinner last Friday and then came over with lunch on Tuesday). I'm trying to encourage her to have a plan, in small increments, and then follow-thru. She has a bad dog, so can't stay in my place if she's homeless. Oh, I could go on and on, but it makes me sad she's in her present state.

Took older daughter shopping last night for school shoes. The ones she wanted were $70; I gave her the $35 I would have paid and she agreed to be responsible for the upgrade. We went to Shoe Carnival and they didn't have the ones she really wanted (Sperry topsiders in some different color combination). Bless her heart, she spent $24 on a pair of non-Sperrys that she "really liked!!"

So I've thought about money goals, best friend drama, and smart money shoe spending

Ha, my sense of humor is back! Don't know where I lost it, but I almost let my undies get into a bunch about this.

My younger daughter wanted double ear piercings and last year I took her to Claires, a bad move - the holes were at an odd angle and caused scar tissue. She still wanted them, so I took her to a tattoo parlor which also does piercings (yes, piercings of all kinds according to the price list). Yes, I put my 13 year old's ears in the hands of a tattoo-ed, very long dread-lock headed man, who was polite and kind and used a needle (to avoid further scar tissue) and he put in ear loops and gave more clear and concise information about aftercare. And yes, I took her and yes, there were offensive tattoos, but guess what? There were very nice religious ones, too. And guess what, I don't think we're damned to hell because the music was uncensored (heard a few f-bombs). And while I don't think I'd like my daughter to work there, or even go there for a tattoo, she's my child and yes, I took her.

And it cost me $40! I so LOVE IT when people think they've got the right to tell me WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING! And I bet if my girls and I turned up at Mass wearing mantillas (lace head coverings) there'd be talk about that!

HAR-D-HAR-HAR!

July was much spendier than usual. I paid $335 cash for Kohls purchases, mostly BTS and two bedding sets for my girls. I also paid $500 for textbooks for older daughter. To rent would have saved me 1/2, but I'll have a freshman next year to use the books. I did save $99 by telling my parents about D's need for a graphing calculator and they had an extra one laying around. I also spent $500 on furniture: $200 for an antique dining room table and five chairs, plus $300 for the two Ethan Allen sofas. All in all, I don't feel bad at all about spending those funds, might inexpensive way to spruce the place up (my mom gave me $200 toward the sofas).

I've realized that my family spends about $100 a month on entertainment and outings. I budgeted $60, but that is low. We spent $100 in June on the annual trip to our town's festival (preview night ride wrist bands are $20 and the kids fund their own snack money). July we had two trips downtown (one for Nationals and one to visit my daughters' cousin) and that was a bit more. I spent $100 for discount tickets for five to our state's largest water park (Raging Waves) so the budget is spent for August.

All in all, it has been cash out the window, nothing on credit. Not a satisfying feeling to see the debt level staying at what it is (though 0% interest), but it is satisfying to see it not go up. Needed to retrain my thinking on this stuff.

Made the big tuition payment for high school. Glad about that. In July I returned for $70 school uniform pants in size 3, and found a pair of size 1s for $5 at the used uniform sale.

Quiet weekend ahead. Hope everyone is enjoying summer! I'm feeling sad about BTS

Taking care lots of nominal things around here today. Closed out the money situation for the summer programs , cleared out the paperwork in the binder and updated the email list for next year. Since I think that I see myself in this capacity next year, I made an effort to tidy things up.

My daughters made a lot of money last week babysitting for the full week. Older one made $85, younger one made $158. They each gave some back to me for their savings accounts.

We had a low-spend weekend: swimming at the pool, walk at the Arboretum and then dinner out at Steak N Shake (OOP for seven people: $18 - that was after a gift card, coupons and kids eating free).

Older daughter has made friends with some girls from the incoming freshman Lacrosse team. She was heading off to high school knowing only one girl from her graduating 8th Grade class, so I'm glad her horizons have expanded prior to getting there. She was at the mall with two of them and then went to a sleep-over.

Younger daughter is at pom camp today and the remainder of the week. She was a bit reluctant to go, which is unlike her. I suppose that the torrents of puberty will throw me for a loop sometimes. She was excited and at least has hip hop in her dance background (older daughter didn't do well with poms after being classically trained in Irish dance for eight years

So last day of July means that that August starts tomorrow. New budget goes into effect, and I suppose it is sort of spending limbo until Friday (payday).

Well that is it!

Cracks me up, these kids of mine. Grandma called to check on the patient and wanted to talk to me. She was told that "Clara Nightengale" is busy right now. Same child who morphed Barak + Obama into Barama the morning after the election.

Anyhow, oral surgery really wasn't oral surgery as I remember it. Not sure why they knocked daughter out (but I think it had something to do with the one tooth rotated 90 degrees and the likelihood that it would crack while being extracted - but that didn't happen). I went in with my daughter while they attached the EKG and oxygen and blood pressure cuff. She looked adorable in the hairnet and maintained her sense of humor. I left just as she was falling asleep.

I went to the bathroom (2 minutes), made coffee (5 minutes - my first time using one of those fancy machines) and read exactly four pages in my book before the nurse let me know that the doc would be out in two minutes. All went well - one Rx for pain, nothing for swelling or infection which was what I was told. He said in about fifteen minutes she'd be ready to go - ten minutes later I was told to drive around back to pick her up.

She was sweet and groggy and funny. We stopped at McD's and I spent $3.10 on a berry chiller. We stopped at my friend's where I dropped off tons of stuff for her kids. She gave me the 5th grade text books for this year and also a box of popsicles for my daughter.

The only drawback about someone convalenscing upstairs is how many times you run up and down. Ice pack on for fifteen minutes, then off. Three popsicles means three trips up and down. I did run to the pharmacy and got the Rx filled - a $25 gift card was the reward for bringing in a new prescription.

I was gone and back in under two hours and my mother made it to yoga on time. Right now the patient is watching TV and DH is bringing her fries at 2:00.

All is good.

Older daughter is having two teeth extractions done today and final preparation for the braces. The oral surgeon assured her this isn't really a big deal. Well, apparently not to him.

I had no logical answers to the questions: Why can't I wear flip-flops? Why can't I wear black nail polish? Not that she ever wears black nail polish, but she lives in flip flops. I told her on that count I thought it had something to do with being able to have better traction while walking after sedation. Who knows?

Anyhow, we've got a 8:15 appointment and should be home by 9:30, though I'm dropping off the load of hand-me-downs to my friends and an anticipate buying a smoothie from McD's for her on the way back.

Low-key day, nothing planned other than a quiet day with daughter on the couch recovering.

Total cost out of pocket after insurnace: $100.

Last night I was watching an episode of "Wife Swap" with my kids (I already shocked someone I know when they found out my girls and I was "The Bachelorette"; I guess we perceived as devout Catholics are thought to sit at home, pray the rosary, and only watch EWTN - the Catholic network).

The two families were the normal polar opposites: a stay at home, fundamental Christian, homeschooling mother of eight and a self indulged, over spending, non-attentive wife and mother of three. All in all, nice women who probably learned from the experience.

Anyhow, the point that garnered a lot of lively discussion between my kids was the fact that the homeschooling family paid their children an allowance and THEN made them pay taxes on it (by returning it to the parents to go toward household expenses). This outraged the "other" mother.

One of my children thought it was the same as charging minor children rent, which a parent shouldn't do until they are older and working.

Another of my children thought it was a good idea because in reality you do pay taxes on your earnings.

This family also incorporated the standard allotment of saving/spending/giving and then the taxes portion.

My child who is a natural born saver (saving towards a goal and then spending once he reaches the goal) said sadly, "Think about how long it would take to save up for something big ... like Harry Potter's Hogwarts or an i-pod ... " These were his two previous large purchases.

As a parent, I'm fine with the save/spend/give, but I'm stuck on the taxes portion. What do you think? Extreme? Reality-check?

(1) Always double check your bills. I was charged twice for the deposit on the new insurance policy on the rental property. Credit of $71.50 should be returned in 3-5 business days.

(2) Older daughter is having oral surgery (two teeth) pulled on Friday to prepare for braces. Original quote included three teeth, and one fell out last night. My savings: $34 Less: Tooth fairy payout.

(3) NSD #2 for the week. Did a free Chess Class for the boys at the library and then a park playdate for the youngest. Lacrosse camp continues despite the heat, but it was a free camp and ends tomorrow.

(4) My daughters have been busy babysitting all week (5 days). They'll have a nice chunk of change on Friday's pay day.

(5) Socialized with parents of 2nd graders. One is the mother of the Michigan trip and she was very nice and friendly, not in the fake pushy way that most of the mothers in that group do (talk nicely to your face and then trash talk you to your back). My other friend asked if we want to go away with hers and another family to Wisconsin. Not sure that our calendar or budget would allow, but it was nice to be asked.

* Last week was a busy one with Round 2 of VBS (though we missed two days during the week), band camp, concert at pool, day into Chicago so the girls could see their California cousin, birthday party, Lacrosse camp, dance class, evening VBS for younger daughter, potluck dinner also associated with VBS. I am a homebody at heart and it takes me several days to recover from constant goings. I did two loads of laundry yesterday, opting to hang the clothes out to dry rather than run the dryer. Not sure how much money or electric it will actually save, but every little bit helps I suppose.

* The gas budget was blown with the constant driving last week of sometimes up to three evening activities on the same day. The price of groceries seems to have risen steady, too. Most of the things I buy at Sam's Club jumped $.50 to $1.00 each. Feeling the money pinch again, and figuring that I need to economize more on the meal planning and freezer cooking.

* Did a major declutter or things. The dreaded middle room has improved immensely. I've got a big amount of things to share with our friends who we regularly hand things down to. I've also got another mini dumpster run, and two boxes and three big bags of things for Amvets. Getting ready to tackle some problem areas in the family room. (Legos, legos, everywhere) - Harry Potter lives on the table in my living room and it will be time to displace him elsewhere.

* I'm realizing that I'm getting burned out in the volunteer capacity that I am presently in (co-coordinator of the summer programs at our parish). I've done it for four years now, and am ready to retire. It will be time for me to have the difficult conversation with the Director of Religious Ed, so she can plan for next year. I am thinking about volunteering in some capacity with the Adult Faith Formation group. I've been invited to a dinner on 8/1 to discuss the future of the committee, and I was suprised that they thought of me, but flattered and at the same time realize that this might be God opening a window when I've closed a door. DH was asked about being on the Parish Board three months ago and he had to decline a seat on the Pro-Life Committee (he's 90% committed to that cause, with the 10% being grey matter as in his opinion "nothing is truly black and white")

* We've been invited to spend the day with a family we know at their summer house on Lake Michigan in the state of Michigan (90 minutes from where we live). I accepted the invite. I'm not usually social, 45 minutes-1 hour is usually enough, but I do like the mother and the father is my DH's Assistant Leader in Scouting. They are educated (she's a Gynecologist and he's high up in the CIA) and older parents to an only child. And then we are less educated parents with lots more kids. I suppose I should stop worrying about what we don't have in common and "chill". My latest encounters with people that I know very well has left me a bit tired, I'm surprised at the cattyness, the gossip, the self-righteous, etc. I don't even think that it is because I'm being overly sensitive, I'm just disappointed in the way people are acting and treating others.

* August: Free haircuts at JCPenney's for kids going into 1st - 6th grade; that will save me some $ on the boys. See the website if you've got a JCP salon near you. I've got three paychecks to cover the last installment of the real estate tax. Money looks OK, though I feel that I've got to be a bit more disciplined on the money that is going out.

* I made the $3,250 tuition payment to my older daughter's high school. It felt nice to make that payment BEFORE the start of school and the balance we owe is $1,500.

* Goals for the remainder of the year: Extra money adds up to about $6,000 ($1,500 x Sept, Oct, Nov and Dec). I'm thinking it should be allocated like this:
$1,000 to credit card debt, $1,000 to savings, $1000 to next year's real estate taxes, $750 toward high school tuition, $750 toward grade school tuition, $1,500 unallocated)

* Whew, if you're still here reading and you haven't been lost, isn't that a lot to dump?

I've had the new-to-us couch and loveseat since last Thursday and am loving it, such a refreshing update over our old set. One of the deacons at our parish is a carpet and upholstery cleaner. I had him out for a quote: $160 for both pieces and $50 to scoth guard.

I mentioned this to one of my friends who said her daughter regularly cleans furniture with a rented cleaner and it has turned out just fine.

I don't know why I'm concerned, well, obviously I fear I'll ruin the like new Ethan Allen sofas.

Has anyone here ever cleaned furniture themselves? How did it turn out? I'm looking at saving a lot if I do it myself. The colors are beige and rose so some dirt shows.

This morning was the used uniform sale at the high school. I headed over with my daughter right after it opened. She found a pair of school pants in a size Jr 1 and a long-sleeved polo shirt. Total price for those two items was $10. The school uniform provider was also there measuring and selling items. I was able to exchange two uniform shirts for the correct size and was able to get a $70 refund on two pairs of pants in a size 3 which were huge on my daughter, and the uniform company happened to have discountinued any size 1s in their line. Happy about that

I was able to locate a Lacrosse stick at a local Play It Again Sports for $29.99. Not the top of the line, but perfectly basic and fine for a novice. Happy news is that daughter had a good time at Lacrosse camp, the coach met her during VBS in June and said that D is a good player for someone who has never played before. AND she's making some new friends. I had some concerns because her best friend (with whom she is two peas in a pod) is going to the other parochial school.

We returned to VBS today and everyone was in much better spirits than yesterday when we skipped. My older girls were helpers and the boys were campers. We had a parish potluck (as we do each year during the program) and it was nice to see some families we don't usually, and everyone is so nice. Makes me feel very fortunate to have a church community that is warm and welcoming.

Had some minimal spending today: $12 for gas (forgot how much we go through driving back and forth to camps, etc), $7.09 at Aldi's (for recipe items for my jello dessert that I brought to the potluck), and $10.00 for the uniform items. Not horrible and all necessary.

Tomorrow we are opting out of VBS and oldest son is having a band concert at the pool we belong to. I'm looking forward to a fun time at the pool, lounging and relaxing and listening to primary school band students! Friday will be back to VBS, but the last day is fun.

Off to catch up on the blogs!

I survived the dreaded back-to-school shopping trip to Kohl's: the one where my mother seems to have the 30% off total purchase, plus $10 for every $50 you spend.

I budgeted $300. We ended up with five pairs of school shoes, school pants, socks, new tank tops and shorts for most kids, a splurged item - a Blackhawk's Hockey Jersey originally $70 now $28 (pre 30% off) and a Skippy John Jones book and a $8 clearance dress for myself. Total of items: $299.15. Yielded $50 Kohl's Dollars and my mom gave me her $10. I think that I might get a new shower curtain and towels with those funds, since I'm in the "spruce up frugally mode".

Other things:

* Over budget by $16 on spending this two-week period ending Thursday, only because I made a $20 donation to a parish in Belize that is building Catholic schools.

* My kids rebelled against VBS today, not that I can blame them much. I co-coordinated the event, but the curriculum and content is presented by a team (two seminarians and two college-aged women). Apparently the personalities of the team and the content (the Apostles Creed) were a bit dry. The one thing I want most for my children is to love their faith and be enthusiastic about it, droning it into them is counter-productive, IMO. The Director of Religious Ed, of course, doesn't share my view and questioned why I was letting my older daughter go to Lacrosse camp rather than participate in the evening program. Hmmm ... she's my child and it really shouldn't matter whatever my reasons. Oh, the joy of dealing with difficult folks, or those who assume you agree 100% with every thing they do ...

* Looking forward to Friday, payday, and I'll be making a $3,250 payment toward my daughter's high school tuition. Ahead of the game!

All for now!

1) I over-estimed the cost of one week of band camp, saving me $10
2) I (my kids) dog-sat my mom's dog on Tuesday when she and my stepdad did a "day away". Yesterday she paid me $10
3) Still happy over the $190 credit at the dental practice (see last post)
4) New-to-me furniture comes home today as DH will rent the moving truck after work
4a) I've found a local place to donate my couch and loveseat to. They come and pick it up for free and then offer it to people who are starting over and need furntiure (like leaving a domestic violence situation or coming our of prison). Saves me at least $6.74 which is what it would have cost for me to "sticker" these items as trash and have them taken away.
5) In-laws will be in town unexpectedly this Fri and are taking up out to Giordano's Pizza and then we'll walk around our town's car show
6) DH and son are camping this weekend with the Cub Scouts. Son's first time at camp with archery and BB guns and sleeping in a tent. Borrowing extra sleeping bag from stepdad rather than buying one.
7) Saturday the remaining kidlets and I are going to a dinner at church with our Associate Pastor, the Religious Ed Director, and the team that will be running next week's VBS. One less meal that I have to cook, and they're a great group of people.
8) Looking good in all spending categories, feeling good about things.

or in this case "saves" to ask.

Older daughter is getting braces next month. She has a metal allergy and we've dealt with consultations and orthodontists (three) since last April. Anyhow, we decided to return to the first orthodontist who my daughter felt comfortable with. He doesn't happen to be in network for our PPO, so I forego a $1K benefit. The oral surgeon who needs to remove three teeth IS in network. The $190 picture (3D cat scan cone picture) was billed under the ortho, no benefits to be paid. The same picture would be covered if it was billed under the oral surgeon (both are in the same big dental practice). I asked if the $190 picture could be re-submitted under the covered doc. The answer, as I had figured, was "no" but they opted to remove that charge from the overall fee for braces.

So with two five minute phone calls (one to the dental insurance provider and the other to the billing and benefits coordinator at the dental practice) saved me $190.

July 6th represented the implementation of the new budget. I have a plan for spending for July and August, with July paying a significant portion of older daughter's tuition, and August paying the remaining property tax payment for the year.

My allotted spending looks like this: WEEKLY
$118.50 for groceries and all household expenses (cleaning/paper/personal care)
$80.00 for gas (both vehicles)
$15.00 for entertainment
$15.00 for clothing
$10.00 for miscellaneous
$5.00 for charitable donations (outside of tithing)

To date for the week I've spent:
$124.03 for groceries and household
$87.67 for gas (I filled my vehicle up and will count some of that toward next week's expenses)
$12.54 for miscellaneous

I will take $15 cash and carry that over to next week.

Enterainment for the week will include going to the $1 movie at the bargain theater tomorrow morning and buying snacks at CVS - total for that should be $10.00

My mother's birthday was this past weekend and the kids made cards and I stitched her a cross-stitch picture from a pattern she admired, cost was minimal as I had the fabric and most floss. Definitely the gift was a labor of love with the amount of time it took.

We actually had a NS weekend, going to Mass on Saturday, my parents' on Sunday for a cook-out and birthday party. The girls had sleepovers, but those are relatively inexpensive because they snacked from the pantry.

My mother got a 30% off of Kohl's purchase and I think I'll use her card to take care of our growing list of things that people need and/or would like: socks for school, gym shoes for school, new underware on most fronts, a belt for oldest son, etc.

I ended up buying two new-to-me couches on craigslist. Beautiful Ethan Allen sofas that cost $2,300 three years ago. For $500 plus the cost of renting a truck (estimated $30). My mom gave me $200 toward the purchase, and I'm excited to be getting them on Thursday. We're donating our present couch and loveseat. This means that I will need to purchase new living room drapes, and I'd like a new tablecloth for the dining room (the rooms are connected), so I'll be scouring coupons to do this as inexpensively as possible.

Off to catch up on the blogs!

I always wonder how much of my parenting the kids actually absorb. I know that I've raised smart shoppers, my girls regularly come home from the mall and show me their small indulgences: this $10 shirt down from $46! This favorite scent of hand lotion for 75% off of $12 at Bath and Body. This maybe TMI, but my now-freshman has a growing collection of free panties from Victoria's Secret/Pink, that regularly sell for $9. She is as modest as she can be in her selections and we were at the mall yesterday and she wouldn't use a coupon because her father and brothers happened to be on this outing with us - though at the other end of the mall.

I had a moment yesterday where my younger daughter was very practical. It was the North American Nationals for Irish Dance and we were in downtown Chicago at the Sheraton. She was a team dancer for ceili, the eight hand figures. There were 58 dance groups in her category and they didn't recall (place in the top 1/2). Still in my opinion Nationals are Nationals (just under All Irelands). I would definitely spend $71 on a ridiculously priced, though totally adorable hoodie with the logos all over it and her name marked on the back.

Dancer daughter demonstrated such grace and maturity. The dance part she performed was flawlessly exocuted and I can always tell which of the eight are her, despite wearing all the same colored wigs. She holds herself in such a way that I always know it is her. She said she wouldn't be disappointed if they didn't recall, because they danced their best. She hoped they did. I asked my daughter which souvenir hoodie she wanted and she said, "I found some really nice dance shoes (gym shoe types) that I think would be comfortable and I could use them for pom poms next year." Of course the cost was as much as the hoodie. Luckily the vendor has store one suburb over from where I live, so I can buy them next month with those extraneous funds. Daughter picked out the cutest hoodie and will probably where it for years to come (her last one was from 2008 and she still wears it).

So in earnest my girl was going to win out for practicality versus frivolity. Probably the one and only time we'll be at Nationals and thankfully it was close to home. Cost $13 to park all day, $75 for lunch out to TGI Fridays, $71 for hoodie.

I almost had to pay $90 for admission, but that is another story. I should say that I appeared daft and the admission people charged me $90, but then I got smart and went back and requested my $90 refund, which I was given.

I've been ready and waiting for you, and am glad that you've arrived.

Goals for the remainder of the year:

July: Pay as much as possible toward M tuition, waiting for final bill after grants and scholarship funds are applied.

August: Pay 2nd installment of property tax on rental property due on 9/4

I will have an estimated $5,000 in funds for saving and tackling short-term goals for Sept-Dec, my plans for those include

* At least $1,000 to tuition for SJS
* At least $1,250 toward 2012 property taxes payable in 2013
* At least $1,250 toward savings (long-term)
* At least $1,000 toward debt (presently at $6,000)

In my exercises in reality, I've concluded a few things:

* Every decision that I make about money does have a good or ill effect on my overall picture. I need to be better at tracking how much I'm actually saving to continue to make wiser decisions.

* It is OK to say "sorry, we can't". The new rage here for summer parties appears to be the wave pool several burbs over at $30 per person. Had to tell oldest son, "Sorry, you can have a party at the pool we belong to and have six friends for $100". As far as vacations go, "Sorry, you're vacationing big next year, this is an off year." This is to the girls who have friends going to South Carolina for golfing and the Dominican Republic for sun and surf. I suppose that I'll need to elect "California, here we come" for Trip 2013/June to rally the troops when they're disappointed.

* I've implemented a new coupon scheme for organizing, simple envelopes for each category clipped together with a binder clip. Much easier than the coupon organizers (rather pleated plastic envelopes with 13 categories), though I'll admit not as cute.

Spending Recap:

7/1 NSD
7/2 $70.55 YMCA, $20.00 Gas (DH)

* Budgeted $100 for groceries and household items, spent $99.46

* DH has summer hours and is off work by 2:00 PM on Fridays. He took the boys to see "The Avengers" - used a $10 gift card and bought $1 snacks at CVS. Had a fun time, though it riled the kids up and they were all different characters: Capt. America vs Hulk vs Thor made for an interesting pillow fight.

* Older daughter made $112 babysitting this week, three separate families. We'll be getting her finances in order next week at the bank. Younger daughter made $48 babysitting this week (one day).

* Nationals are 7/5 for my younger Irish dancer. She competes at one grade below the highest level and is dancing 8-hand figures. Should be an interesting event, we're happy it is local - downtown Chicago

* I spent $1.00 at the resale store connected with our local hospital: $.50 for a cute Graduation frame that I put a picture of my 8th grade graduate in. ANd $.50 for "Smart Couples Finish Rich" - I guess I'm need some reassurance that I'm doing things right. I'm no longer lamenting my last $8.60 book "Moneysaving Mom's Guide to Budgeting" - I fretted about the expense, but then I read that all proceeds from the book went to Compassion International.

* My best friend, the single 46-year old sweet person but poor money manager, thinks she is pregnant after a brief relationship. She's been to the doctor and the test came back negative, though the doctor said it is too early to definatively say she isn't yet. She has all the symptoms of pregnancy, and she unfortunately had unprotected sex with her new (now gone) boyfriend. This will be a very interesting tale to tell ...

* Should be a low-spend weekend

* Looking at some furniture on MOnday that was listed on craigslist. I'm hopeful that it looks as nice in person as it does in the photo. $500 for two Ethan Allen sofas and ottoman. My present couch and loveseat are rather industrial from 7+ years of little kids and it is time for an upgrade

As the song goes, though I'm nowhere near the tropics with blissful blue waters, rather scorched ugly burnt grass abounds.

Daughter had her consult for braces. Took us awhile to navigate the whole reality of braces with a metal allergy, but we're testing with the titanium and porcelain and gold, so she should be fine. Going back to the original doctor (who my daughter felt comfortable with) yielded the pleasant surprise that the cost hadn't gone up since 4/11 with the original quote. Cost: $5,600, total time to fix the situation 18-24 monthes. My grandmother gifted by daughter $4K to get her smile more beautiful. Might have to forego the $235 (5%) discount to pay in full because the $1,600 deficit is what we have for her first tuition payment. Our other option is: $1,890 down and then $210 a month for 18 months. Totally do-able, and the funds haven't been comingled.

Younger daughter babysat 5.5 hours on Tuesday, Older daughter is babysitting 4 hours today and 6.5 tomorrow. Time to open them Virtual Wallets at PNC so they can have access to their savings and debit cards. They're on the brink of fiscal responsibility ...

This heat is awful, the coolest we can expect the house with the air on is 81 during high heat. We've got an air hockey table in the basement, and since that's the coolest place, I'll suggest subterranean fun today. Have to go to the library. Our DVD player died and we're borrowing one from my mom. The endless list of things that need to be replaced is growing, leaps and bounds.

Hope everyone is staying cool. I will need to spend about $35 in gas and $50 in groceries today. Spending remains low. Also found out that older daughter's Lacrosse camp at her high school is FREE, wa-hoo!

Today is an ortho-consult for my oldest daughter. She is in need of some orthodontia, but has a metal allergy to work around. I've learned a lot about things since the initial consult, so I feel that we can at least make a decision and get moving. Ortho is free.

Today I am paying the final $236 for the second root canal, and I owe a final $216 for the removal of the wisdom teeth, so nice to be coming to an end of those bills.

Today is supposed to be a scorcher with heat in the high 90s. We're planning on going to pool, so today will only cost about $2.99. Speedway has their $.69 freezies on sale this summer. We drive past one on our way home from the pool, so that is the agreement. No over-priced snacks at the pool, economic freezies on the way home.

Trying to remain frugal in my thoughts and actions

VBS was last week. We were to bed late, up early, napping in between. There was no real schedule as far as meal planning, and I will confess to one night of cereal for dinner and Little Cesar's pizza for lunch once and dinner once. VBS went well, in general, but I'm glad it is done for another year. One major upside is both daughters were group leaders and have several new babysitting contacts. This week both girls start their babysitting job which will yield each one $50 per week. VBS also gave my oldest a chance to meet the Lacrosse coach at her high school, and the coach was very welcoming and my shy daughter is actually looking forward to camp in July.

In my quest for frugality and simplicity and better money management and fiscal judgment, I've spent some time at www.thepeacefulmom.com, particularly her series on living on less than $28K. Some good simple ideas there.

I carried this inspiration to return two un-needed clothing items recently purchased that still had tags on. I returned one, and kept one after a price adjustment (credit of $16). I definitely need a plan for my wardrobe as well. The odd pieces that I buy because they're on sale don't necessarily help lead to a cohesive look.

I've been not fretting about spending grocery money on quality items. The kids' favorite brand of yogurt (yoplait whipped) was on sale for $.50 so I stocked up. I spent $10 on 2# of blueberries. I introduced quesadillas (so simple) on Friday and we've been having salad/soup/sandwiches for lunch and/or dinner most of the days. I'm planning on baking today since it is supposed to be 104 tomorrow and the oven probably shouldn't be on.

So, that's it. Hope everyone is enjoying summer!

OK, not much has really changed in the past 20 days since I decided to let weeds take over this garden of a blog of mine.

I definitely need to return to a place of thoughtful and organized goals. I've worked out the budget for July and August, which in order to meet our financial obligations, will require organized and thoughtful spending, and not much of it, unfortunately. I will be able to make the $2,000 tuition payment on 7/20 and the $2,270 payment for property taxes on 8/31.

I'm looking for suggestions for inexpensive tried and true recipes that work for you and yours. I do feel that my spending in the household category (groceries/paper/cleaning/pets/personal care) has gotten out of control due to lack of planning. I did attend an hour-long seminar on Tuesday about meal planning and recipe planning. I've taken the initial steps of "interviewing" the residents of my home and assemble a list of favorite meals. I'm a long way off of the presenter's present state with a rotating meal plan and master shopping list and buying my herbs in bulk and freezing them in ice cube trays, but again, I must stop the comparison to others, that just leads to feeling of inadequacy that are un-needed.

I've lost lots of time and energy due to the planning and running of VBS this week. I'm driving and picking up my kids' friends who are helpers. I've mistakenly let the girls attend a midweek sleepover and now they are exhausted and crabby and its rather terse here at my home, not the way it usually is.

Our list of inexpensive things to do since school's been out (2 weeks) has included going to the Movie Club movie $1 per ticket, the pool four times, the library several times - which the boys are participating in the summer reading program, and a presentation at the park of Matt Wilhelm who was a semi-finalist on AGT. I bought some latch hook kits using 50% off coupons at Michaels and Joanne's so I'm fostering some sort of creativity. I think next week we'll go to the Arboretum and sketch some trees.

I opted to not buy the prepackaged school supply kits, so that means I get to scour the sale ads and start buying school supplies sometime mid-July.

I spent $8 to buy the book by Crystal Paine over at money saving mom about budgeting. Why? I know the drill. Nothing new. Frittered away $8. Ugh.

So, this is sort of a mind-dump, and the realization that I'll need some support to stay on the straight and narrow. Who else will encourage me on the road?

Ha ha! My karma got me! Just when I got a bit cocky that things were all set and on auto-pilot and I didn't need to think about money, things have changed up a bit.

I am on pace to meet two targeted goals: $2000 tuition payment for DD's high school (leaving a $1,750 balance to be paid in six months) on July 20th, and the final property tax payment of $2,270 due on 9/4.

Because I am a non-compensated volunteer (averaging 15 hours per week) in our parish's school and summer program we have received a $6,000 grant in tuition, leaving our balance of $1,606 which I can pay in whatever increments throughout the school year.

DH will be entering the diaconite program which will bring additional grants next year so our tuition should actually be about the same, and that includes his share of tuition. He's confident about this, so I am supportive of it, it's in line with his personal goals and where he sees himself doing what he should be doing.

We had anticpated a refi of the mortgage on our primary residence, the goal was to the lower payment by several hundred dollars a month. We own our rental property outright, but because we did a bridge loan and when we couldn't sell, we put renters in. Consequently the bridge loan put a $250K lien against the property which is presently valued at $215K (was apparised at $330K when we moved in the first place). We can't sell because we would have to cough up the difference at closing. So our only real option we thought was to do the refi.

Our plans for the refi came to a screeching halt when we found that our loan to ratio value would require mortgage insurance (the value of our primary residence also really tanked in the several motnhs we were investing this).

So we'll plod along with the present mortgage payment.
It is do-able, the budget, though I will definitely need to put on the cape of judiciousness when it comes to spending,

My point of advice:

Last year I purchased two prepaid tuition plans for my daughters to attend the local community college. The coast is $3,200 per year. I'm thinking that I made an awful mistake in doing so. It is for basically for an associates degree or gen ed classes to tranfer to a different uni. My oldest daughter ended up with scholarships and grants for high school, which lead me to believe she'll be able to qualify for college. And I had the realizationt that she might want to go away to college. She might not, but maybe it isn't fair to land-lock her to MY plan. It is time to make the $3,200 payments ($1,600 x 2) which I incidentally can't afford to make.

Do I get out of the plan and transfer those funds to
the girls regular college savings account? The money that I should be paying into these plans covers about what our tuition is.

Help! What do you think? Am I missing the obvious? It appears that there is a 5% penalty on the $3,200 which we paid in (though there was a $500 incentive to start it in the first place).

In my last post, I shared that I don't really feel the need to blog constantly or consistently about money, and how my situation financially turned around in my time here. I am blogging elsewhere about Catholic life in a large family and 95% of it is not money-related.

My 2nd realization was: I wanted to share a positive money moment, and my new blog really wasn't the place. So I find myself here to share that I finally got it. I figured it out. My mindset and paradigm shifted to a positive place.

Our air conditioner decided to conk out on a 90+ degree weekend. We had all the ceiling fans going, plus two big stationary fans, and we spent lots of time out of the house, but it was very, very difficult to sleep and have a happy, functioning family.

Today the air conditioner repair folks came and it turned out that we needed to replace the motor in the fan unit outside. Turns out that some major duct was clogged due to the cottonwood tree on our neighbor's property and that most likely caused the motor to get hot and break. The good news is we didn't to replace anything else. The bad news was it cost $748 to fix.

This was where it gets good, and I am pleased to share. I wrote a check for the full amount. No credit card usage, no bemoaning. I've learned the full value of an EF. I've learned that it is money to spend in times like this, rather than board it.

So I suppose I'll be back periodically to share my wise money decision making moments.

Non-money news: Summer is here. Pool membership is being used. Taking advantage of $1 movie mornings at the local theatre using store-purchased snacks. zI managed to pay cash for daughter's graduation party and gift. I know the exact amount of daughter's tuition for high school which we will pay in two installments. I know that my volunteer work at my parish will subsidize most of the tution for the remaining kids. I'm still clipping coupons and watching my grocery bills stay low. I am getting closer to becoming the Deacon's wife. All is good.

I came to the realization that I no longer need to blog about money. When I came here I was a mess; no clear plan, a lot more debt than I have now, feeling that I was alone in a boat worrying about our long-term financial success and well-being.

My situation really wasn't that dire, but it felt that way. Over the years I worked on a budget and have definite spending limits. I have a plan B and C for different events. My family has been generous and shared financially with me in many instances.

Things here are on auto-pilot, with money going to retirement and education. My concern about high school tuition has decreased greatly with daughter's scholarships, etc.

That said, I don't feel the need to write about money anymore. Been there? I'm blogging elsewhere about life, and don't feel like tending this garden, too.

I've learned a lot here, and I hope everyone continues to grow and prosper.