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Other People's Money, and is it appropriate to gift this?

January 27th, 2012 at 06:14 am

I haven't necessarily came to place of "peace of mind" over my finances. I am aware that we should be putting more into retirement and education, and it seems that there are always those extraneous expenses despite being the pro-active in planning. I try to take the least expensive route someplace before taking the more expensive. I'm trying to educate myself about different scenarios in our future and figuring out the monetary upside and downside of these options. But overall, I am satisfied. I give myself (and DH) the grade of a solid B for of efforts and achievement and planning.

But, other people's money ... I can't let it get to me. I haven't quite figured out how to safety distance myself from OTHER PEOPLE'S chaos about THEIR MONEY. The amount of time I can listen isn't open-ended. My advice isn't worth much, because I've tried to offer it in the past. I'm thinking this is going to my strategy and I'm interested in feedback.

I want to go to the used bookstore and pick up Mary Hunt's Debt Proof Living book - two of them. And I want to give them to the two people in my inner circle who need them. BF who makes continued bad choices and is on the brink of disaster herself (hates her job, is probably facing being fired, and her option for employment - in a traveling worker capacity - and key to this is the option of renting her condo out, and that isn't an option for a year as indicated in her refinance papers). Brother will be unemployed in two weeks and the details of his practical life need to be settled, given he has a company car, a company cell phone, a company computer, insurance through the company, and his house was put up as collateral to the business. Quite a complicated endeavor to have himself extrapolated from his employment situation.

So, do I give these books now? Or later? Or never? And I should add that I no longer give unsolicited advice, and both of these people regard me as a good money manager and planner and have asked for money advice in the calendar year of 2012.

4 Responses to “Other People's Money, and is it appropriate to gift this?”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    If they have solicited your advice recently, then I think it would be safe to give the books. You are just passing on information that has helped you and likely might be of help to them.

  2. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    I'd give the books to them soon. Maybe right away they will be ready to peek into them. Maybe in a week. Maybe months from now. But it will be good if the books are there whenever they might be ready.

  3. baselle Says:

    Since they asked, I'd definitely give them the books, or if they talk to each other, I'd give one one book, the other another so that they can loan different books to each other. I loved Your Money or Your Life, FWIW because it sets up a series of whys you should be careful with your money. Found it for $2 at Goodwill recently.

    If either person asks for money directly (likely), try to evade. Likewise for you avoid the "I told you so" even though you think it.

  4. PNW Mom Says:

    I think too that since your advice was asked.....gift away! You could just tell them that these books were valuable to you and your DH, and since they asked....here you go.

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