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Reminder as to who I am

September 21st, 2011 at 09:48 am

OK, this is where I play psychoanalysis with myself.

Why does this whole Poconos thing really bother me?

(1) My up-bringing. I was raised by divorced parents. My mother didn't become educated until after my brother and I were grown. She worked minimum waged secretarial jobs. My father came from big-time money but didn't pay child support on a regular basis. We lived in a small apartment and ate mac and cheese while my father lived alone in the big house and drove a Corvette. I think this whole Poconos thing dredges up some unresolved identity issues here.

Who am I, really?

I am a wife and mother. I don't work outside of the home, and I feel it is my job to make sure that I am the best money manager that I can be. I don't feel that I am girlfriend first and need weekly outings to complain about my life (lots of whining when I was at the first and only get together). A friend told me she found this group like a "sorority". I have friends, but I prefer quality time with my own family and family friends. The sad thing is: I really like myself, but feel that if I'm not running with the Poconos crowd, then I'm an outsider. But do I really want to be an insider? Probably not, though the wrapping on the package does look pretty.

I need to remind myself that this is really about me.

Snap out of it, Laur! Time to embrace your inner frugal beautiful self and move on.

4 Responses to “Reminder as to who I am”

  1. MonkeyMama Says:

    When you feel the feelings of envy coming on, it probably helps to look at the whole package. Envy usually comes from focusing on one aspect of a person's life. When you find yourself envious of the vacation, think to all the whining and how miserable these people are. If you look at the big picture, there should be little to be envious of.

  2. baselle Says:

    I think you said it - the wrapping looks pretty. But the wrapping can hide a world of hurt...and you get is the wrapping.

  3. My English Castle Says:

    The Poconos? How about Lake Geneva? Maybe a spa day with a real friend might do the same thing for you? Hey--I bet there's even a Groupon for one! But seriously, I know what you mean. In the great hierarchy of world income, we're about the top of the heap--but then there's that house on Lake Michigan with the beautiful pergola in front. And their kid is in my kid's class... I'll bet they have problems you don't want.

  4. PrincessPerky Says:

    I personally have never understood the desire to ditch the family for .... well pretty much anyone for longer than a couple hours?

    I mean sure my kids annoy me, and my husband...is busy dealing with kids, but if I were going to spend an arm and a leg I had bloody well better be able to take the man I choose to marry with me (and put the do not disturb sign up)

    if I can't have that, then I would want to see my kids enjoy their faces as they learn and explore, and don't tell them but I love those conversations they have while I putter around. (so just who would be head girl/boy at Hogwarts?)

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