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What would you do?

November 5th, 2011 at 02:39 pm

This week I am on the hunt to raise some capital. The car purchase and the moving of EF fund to Chase bank has left my saving account quite naked with a mere $1,200. We have upcoming dance competition (the Mid America championships, pre-Nationals) so I know that I have a dress upgrade, a used purchase, I've put new wigs on the credit card (though I've subtracted that already from available funds), etc.

I have some jewelry - a gold necklace with some diamonds and a sapphire ring that I'm thinking about parting with - or at least seeing how much I'd be able to get. Not part of my dilema.

Here is the dilema part - I have two rare and odd lamps and a mirror from my biological father that didn't work in his house (he lives in a rambling mansion sort of English-inspired country house and I live in a 1970s brick split level) and I've since changed the decor of my bedroom from gaudy gold over the top to a cool and soothing blue/brown combo. I should add that DH used to work my father and they had a nasty parting of ways - not much of a consequence to me since I emotionally divorced myself from my father ages ago. I did go out to lunch with him (father) and brother in June - other than that, don't see or talk to him. He really doesn't have much of an interest in me or my children. It is sad, but I've moved on.

I'd like to sell these items to the place featured on TLC's WHAT THE SELL, and I think that I could get probably $250-$300 for the lot of these items.

My mother believes that I should offer these back to my biological father because they were gifts. I disagree. He gave them to me. She is afraid he will be insulted if he ever comes to my home again and he'll disinherit me from the will. He is odd in his thinking like that and my mother was married to him for ten years. I should add that I have an awful piece of furniture in my living room that I would offer to return to him before I sold it - but with that we're talking over a thousand dollars.

I'm going to move to sell, but what do you think?

8 Responses to “What would you do?”

  1. creditcardfree Says:
    1320505655

    If they were truly gifts, it is within your right to sell. And you accept whatever consequences that might come of it. What are the odds he would come over? Let alone notice the missing items.

  2. jewels3 Says:
    1320508752

    Speaking as someone whose is estranged from her parents, I would offer them back to him if you value any part of your relationship with him. It sounds as its an issue if he does find out, he may never speak to you again, and if so, can you live with that consequence? I think the fact that you would return another piece to him because its worth more speaks volumes.

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
    1320518944

    Here's a vote to do what is easiest or otherwise most beneficial for you.

    Just remember for the future that your mother would like to have back things she has given you if you are ready to move on without them. Personally, I once felt a little hurt when a relative gave back the gifts I had given them. So, I think just take the easiest route. Don't bust any brain cells over the decision.

  4. snafu Says:
    1320546676

    Explain to your mom in gentle terms that a gift given without 'strings' is yours to use as you please. Why not set a dollar value and if offered above that sum - sell. You needn't tell either parent and I doubt he would arrive at your door demanding to see gifts that are now your property.

  5. ceejay74 Says:
    1320562809

    If he asks, can you say they all three broke in a freak accident? Big Grin

  6. patientsaver Says:
    1320884144

    Oh, *&$*(. If they were gifts, you're entitled to do what you want with them, and since you already don't have much to do with him, why worry about it? I find it hard to believe that someone would disinherit someone over such a petty thing. They're just lamps, after all, just things. Relationships are stronger than things.

  7. laura Says:
    1320886542


    Patientsaver, sadly that branch of the family is wonderful at using money to manipulate and control. And things are an extension of money. But today I took the lamps and mirror to a place and entered into a consignment agreement and hope to net at least $300 for the items. Smile

  8. patientsaver Says:
    1320929974

    Glad to hear you took the lamps to the consignment shop. For what it's worth, i remember years ago when my grandparents "disiherited" my mother when she chose to live with the man who would later become her husband (my stepfather). I don't think inheritances, or the lack thereof, should be used as teaching tools!

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