I have struggled in this area of being a people pleaser, wanting people to like me, and saying "Yes" when I really didn't want to.
I am co-room parent for Kindergarten. Not my first choice, I wanted 3rd Grade, but I said OK when asked. My partner is a Type A over achieving mother and this is her oldest child's first school experience (by the time you've done Kindergarten for the 5th time it is like "yeah, whatever ...")
Our annual budget is $200 for the entire year of events: Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Field Day (which is year end picnic). Back at the first meeting to plan Halloween I kept saying to this mother "We only have $200, should we be spending $35 on plastic crap from Oriental Trading Company?" (not in those words, but that was the idea behind the queestion). She went ahead with the Oriental Trading Company order.
Well, with V-Day rolling around next Monday she left a message, "I am in need of "x" items" and since I've already shopped and am not planning on being reimbursed, can you just pick these items up? I did send out an email for suppliers, but people haven't gotten back to me."
I said "No, sorry, can't pick those items up. I'm cash-strapped at the moment with many school-related expenses - the Father Daughter Dance's $42 tickets, the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Dinner for $20, etc. I'm more than happy to call the people who offered to provide supplies but haven't returned your emails. I can let them know what we need."
Her response: "Well, I looked at the list of supply contributors and didn't see your name on it and just *thought* you might be happy to contribute. But if you can't, well ... no problem."
I dislike this woman immensely, but managed to be pleasant the entire way through the conversation.
I said "No" and I'm learning to be OK with it.
Learning to say "NO" and being OK with it
February 9th, 2011 at 04:29 pm
February 9th, 2011 at 04:54 pm 1297270472
February 9th, 2011 at 04:59 pm 1297270798
February 9th, 2011 at 05:03 pm 1297271003
My kids' classes have been pretty quiet this year, thank goodness. 2nd grade has calmed down a ton on the party front (I think more parents are working at that age). Then again, Q & U are having a wedding fit for a king next week (Kinder), but the other Kinder parents seemed uber excited to contribute. I didn't volunteer to help.
With the school begging for money, I find all these resources that go to parties are just ridiculous.
February 9th, 2011 at 05:48 pm 1297273688
February 9th, 2011 at 07:16 pm 1297278966
February 9th, 2011 at 08:10 pm 1297282227
Jerry
February 9th, 2011 at 11:12 pm 1297293161