Thank you for the encouraging words in response to my last post. I was somewhat relieved to determine that my momentary lapse in self-esteem most likely stemmed for PMS (sorry, men, for the TMI moment).
My esteem and I bounced back a bit after realizing that comparison gets me nowhere, and for me it is easier to be angry than sad (I am sliding up and down the grief continuum). I was angry at the world and it really didn't have to do with Coach bags or cute dresses from from Nordstroms or having fabulous streaks in my hair, it has to do with missing a child that isn't coming, that I should be feeling moving around my womb, and I am just mad at the unfairness of life.
It was the Knights of Columbus picnic yesterday that brought me back to my good senses. I spent time with a woman who was lucky enough to get her beautiful daughters from China. I spent time with a woman who is fighting for visitation with the grandchildren (the childrens mother has passed away and father is being difficult). I watched as my kids became totally dirty and gross after climbing in a creek - the laughter was priceless. We had a potluck dinner and the kids had sack races, water balloon tosses, and there was a fishing derby. It was a wonderful day.
I talked to my best friend. I've complained about her a lot in the past. Since I've moved away from a place of judgment, my attitude has changed and things are much better. I actively engaged in a conversation talking about what I was feeling (usually NEVER do that), and it was so nice to hear that she feels the same way about her image. I put a yoga date on the calendar with her. I'm not into yoga, but she claims it is relaxing and helpful and I could use some serious de-stressing.
On the financial front, we spent a total of $12 this past weekend on grocery items. Should be a low-spend week, and another low-spend weekend as well with the kids marching in the 4th of July parade and a barbecue at my parents' on Sunday.
Thanks again, friends, for helping to remind me what is important, and not falling into the trap of thinking that items can buy happiness.
Returning to a place of normal
June 28th, 2010 at 04:08 pm
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