*Caution: Rant ahead*

I have made strides to be less critical of folks in general. I have made progress in the "weeding my own garden" and have had thicker skin when dealing with some people. This one has, however, stopped me in my tracks.

Best Friend (referred to hereafter as BF) has a gross annual income of about $80K (full time and part time per diem work) and cannot meet her monthly obligations. I don't know the amount that she is in debt, but she has a student loan in deferment and has had to take a Prosper loan to make her property tax payment (though she saved her property from going to tax auction again this year). She has borrowed money ($1,000 to $2,000) from another friend twice in the past six months. I have never lent her money but have bought her groceries when she was a poor student and OTC meds when she was sick.

That is the background of her recent financial past. She has fancied herself Suze Orman recently - looking into online bank accounts for future expenses, possibly escrowing her taxes, etc.

She asked my opinion on websites to help her maintain her money and budget. I stupidly said "Mint.com" - I like my weekly spending reports - and I am compulsive about my money so I know where everything goes and I make sure that my Excel spreadsheet and my bank balance jives (every third or fourth day).

She has done well with Mint.com for the past several weeks, downloading her money.

She called me in a pissed off mood to say that she was done with Mint.com. Her Chase accounts didn't update and she doesn't know how much she spent in what category - and readding the account would screw up what she spent, etc. etc. She was actually MAD at me - rather than Mint.com.

"I wish you would have suggested something reliable to me!" was her excited utterance.

OK, she didn't listen to me when I suggested that someone I know would NOT be the ideal therapist for her. She needed something different, and I listened to her complain about that excursion into self analysis.

OK, she perked up really excited about two years ago when I mentioned peer-to-peer lending to her in a casual conversation (I mentioned Propser and Kiva). Wouldn't you know, she jumped right on line and it took three attempts to get her fully funded. She just got another Prosper loan.

I managed to get myself off of the phone before I said anything I regretted.

This is the "yes, but ..." friend.

At this point, I think it would be best if I were friendless.

I get the fact that she's frustrated and I would not even have minded listening to the vent until she directed the whole thing at me, "Why did I suggest something that wasn't reliable?!"

I could analyze this left and right and apply this faulty logic to other people and instances in her life.

I should have said, "Yes, you are right. How could I have been SO careless and selfish to recommend such an inferior website to you. Shame on me!"

UGH!

It has been a big spend week - $2,668 for 1,256 square feet of carpeting (plus padding/installation/removal). As if that wasn't bad enough, I bought a couch yesterday when I was shopping with my mother.

The irony of it is that while I have planned and prepared I simply have a hard time parting with money.

I found the perfect sectional yesterday - my original couch was far too chartreuse in person than on the computer monitor. I thought it would be a mossy green, but it had sort of an underlying electric lime undertone? Anyhow, my hopes for that couch and matching accent chairs quickly faded.

Back to the sectional, it is a neutral beige and the stainguard has a 7 year warranty and it is also warranteed against burns/tears/rips in the fabric. My present curtains in the family room won't need to be replaced and it will work. It is going to be delivered on Wednesday (new carpeting going in tomorrow).

Anyhow, I spent $1,050 on the three piece sectional plus coordinating ottoman. I wrote a check (!) yay! no credit cards are being used. Then I had sort of buyers' remorse. I had called DH and had him look at it on the computer prior to making the final purchase. My mother and kids liked it a lot. I loved it. But then I bought it.

So I add $1,040 to the $2,668 to be spent tomorrow. My mother pointed out that I am thrifty and watch every penny, but I should throw caution to the wind and enjoy my soon-to-be-newly rennovated home.

My mind isn't exactly working that way. DH thought he was being funny and threw me into a category of poor money managers (namely my lawyer-brother who has gone into practice with some friends and hasn't been paid in six weeks, yet maintains his lifestyle AND my best friend who makes $80K and is the perrenial poor planner). I was highly offended and didn't see any humor in the dig.

Thankfully this will be the last of the big money spent for some time.

I don't think my mental state can handle it. (I must add that this all being paid with cash and no credit card usage is involved).

last night I assembled thirteen "bibs" for the boys in my son's 2nd Grade class for their Thanksgiving play on Monday morning. My son knew I would "love to do it" so home came the paper and pattern to follow. Took me well over an hour to cut out bows of black construction paper and to precisely fold the large sheets of paper neatly in half, trace and then cut out the head hole and front opening and then attach the bows. Son's face this morning when he saw the neatly finished pile: Huge smile was priceless.

DD age 10 is participating in the Mother-Daughter Book Club and this evening we are bringing in our gooey cinnamon buns made from Emeril's There is a Cook in My Soup cookbook. OK, I have never worked with yeast in my life and I have to make the first round of dough at 1:30 so it can rise in time for us to continue the recipe. I'm afraid that it won't turn out and I have the makings for an easier recipe onhand. Daughter's excitement: Priceless

DH took the five kids to Kohls to shop for my Christmas and birthday gifts. Big sale means lots of people, how he managed I don't know - but they stayed $16 under budget (had $50 Kohl's cash, $17.00 credit) AND each child purchased at least one item. I do admire his fortitude for being able to do it

My mother rearranged her schedule today to come and look at a sofa with me. I can't shop by myself for furniture (indecisive, I guess) and she gladly said she'd join me and the little kids. Yay!

DS aged 7 has the only thing on his Christmas list the Playmobil Egypt Playset - the one that is sold out virtually everywhere (Toys R Us, Target, local toy and bookstores). I found it at Amazon.com for $169 - I don't think so. Further investigating and I found it online at the Playmobil website for $104 which is the MSRP - had to pay shipping of $16, but it was well worth it.

I'm almost done with Christmas shopping all the way around. Kept it mostly under budget and did quite well using coupons and Kohl's cash and did small purchases a little at a time. Feeling good about things.

Yep ... this Saturday ... on top of the endless to-do list and calendar, the new carpeting is going to be installed on Saturday.

We had Empire come out and give us a quote on 1,256 square feet of new Mohawk carpeting - this includes the family room, dining room, living room, upstairs hallway and fifteen stairs (I live in a split level with lots of stairs). Our present carpeting was not only a bad color, but apparently the lowest grade (24% or whatever).

The color is much better and the quality is noticeably better at 51%. For my birthday my mom and stepdad paid the $411 to upgrade to the 51% rather than the 34%.

The original quote was $3,700 including all installation and moving furniture and haul away the old stuff. DH and I have never purchased carpeting in quantity (though we priced it last year through our own rough calculations) and it seemed high. We said the Luna (a local company that competes with Empire) was coming out today to give us a quote, and lo and behold, the sales guy got his little phone and did some calling back to his boss (picture buying a used car and the sales guy calling the big manager in the back) ... He was able to drop it down to $2,688 but took away a "free!" ugly carpet runner that I didn't want/need/or like any of their patterns anyhow.

This was a totally fine price and we signed the contract. The carpeting is going in on Saturday - should take six hours - but it will all be done in time for the holidays/entertaining.

I have $400 from previous birthday gifts. My mom/stepdad are adding $400. I paid the $100 deposit. The tenant is paying rent of $1400, so I will be a few hundred dollars short - coming from EF to be paid back with Christmas gift money.

I am SO glad that it is coming. I don't even regret the purchase AT ALL. Funny when you've really wanted something for a long time (well over a year) and it finally comes, it is sort of a relief to have just bit the bullet and buy it.

I turned the big 4*1 yesterday without any fanfare or celebrating. This bothered my children immensely (though they all made thoughtful cards and let me sleep in yesterday).

My soon-to-be 90 year old grandmother is coming from CA this Saturday. My family party is going to be Sunday (complete with cake and presents and singing).

Anyhow, my mom and stepdad did come by with gifts of food (whole cashews and Fannie Mae chocolate covered cherries). I indulged my tastebuds several times - I am quite pleased that my children have Halloween candy so I didn't need to share mine.

We played plenty of rounds of Connect Four and I watched the remake of The Prisoner on AMC (the concept completely creeped my out when I watched the 1969 version). Today I have done two loads of laundry and we're having a pasta bake for dinner. Guess my laziness here is called continuation of birthday bliss.

The gifts I have received thus far: $300 from biological father, and $100 from grandmother are going toward the purchase of a new carpet. I've got Empire and Luna coming out on Tuesday and Wednesday. The last straw for this present carpeting came when DH suggested I have Stanley Steemer out to give it another go at cleaning. I said I didn't plan on putting any money into this gross carpet, he agreed.

I think that I'm going to ask my biological father for a new couch for Christmas hopefully purchased and delivered early. He fancies himself an interior decorator and the last item of furniture he purchased for my house was a ridiculously expensive Theodore Alexander settee that no one is allowed to sit on. I'm thinking a nice quick trip to Value City Furniture will yield me something nice for about $700.

DH has a new boss - two stories up at his work - he won't be moving and it doesn't make a lot of sense reporting to a boss in a different dept. NOT sure what this translates to job security and unemployment.

I will remind myself that I have a plan and this doesn't necessarily mean that unemployment is around the corner.

a new Dyson DC14 bagless upright.

$465 at Kohl's on sale for $399.

Factor in a 30% off coupon and it is down to $280.

Tax on the purchase brings it to $301.

Then there is the get $10 for every $50 you spend. I walked out with $50 Kohl's Cash to use sometimes after the 16th.

Good-bye bad cheap Hoover Wind Tunnel that was purchased 20 months ago.

Hell-o clean carpet!

I have been good about not spending on frivolity, but this was definitely worth it to make this purchase.

my library has wii games for two week check out.

I took out two and my kids are having an awful lot of fun doing pig races?!

And they can keep playing for anoterh fourteen days!

No more having to buy them or rent them from the video store.

when things just aren't right.

I don't feel well, but I'm not sick. I don't have a headache, but I'm not 100% there. I'm not dizzy, but I feel sort of foggy.

Kids are cranky (probably delayed reaction to time change). DH is cranky (probably stress at work). Parents are cranky (who knows why). BF thinks she is now Suzy Orman making 100% wise decisions.

I have a menu plan in place for the rest of the week. I'm fulfilling my goal for service to others today by cooking dinner and taking it over to my daughter's classmates family because a parent had surgery.

I am realizing that we will make it through to the end of the month just fine if we continue down our current path/trend. I'm buying Christmas gift one at a time using $10 off coupons at places like JCP and using Kohl's cash (after a larger purchase at the end of last month).

I hope that tomorrow is better.

I ended up joining the list of sickies in the family. Aches, pains, chills, a head that is gonna explode.

Yesterday I did manage to get through an all-day dance competition and ran sooooo slooooowww I though I would die. I made it half way through our dinner out afterwards and sadly had to go sleep it off in the car. Didn't even enjoy my peppermint/chocolate chip milk shake from Steak N Shake. Sad.

It is warm today and feeling like warm weather's last hurrah. I have to muster up enough strength for a bike ride. I am pleased to say we're almost caught up with all the missed schoolwork.

We're still on target for frugal living at it's best with no financial surprises.

Spending has been minimal and should continue this week as well.

I transferred out the $75 bonus interest from the checking account at BoA today.

While I was there, I received a flier letting me know that if I set up online bill pay and pay three bills within 30 days, I will receive a bonus of $35. Certainly well worth it, so later in the month I will deposit the money for my electric, gas and Comcast bills, pay them, and enjoy an additional $35.

So if you're new to BoA and not taking advantage of online bill pay, do so and collect $35!

Yesterday in the mail I received a $10 rebate from Kellogg's which I'm adding to the vacation fund. I transferred the $75 bonus interest from Bank of America as well, allocating it 50% vacation-50% Corvette repair. And my grandma sent me a check for $100 (she does this every month, and it started out covering baby formula for the kids, then diapers, then hot lunches, now she just sends it. My grandma is certainly a role model for love and generosity-help with no strings attached) that I'm putting into the EF for now. Balances look like this:
Vacation $97.50
Corvette repair $537.50
Emergency Fund $10,481

And DH said his job is "safe" through mid 2010. Apparently the bid to keep him and the title change were successful. A consulting group came in and made recommendations about revamping the sales dept (doing away with lower level reps and adding higher end sales) which could lead to a $12 million increase in revenue. Now DH and his boss get to analyze this strategic move to see if it is above and beyond the normal projected sales range. Anyhow, glad to hear it. This little excursion was a wake-up call to keeping an eye toward the unforeseen. I feel like I will be doing a better job with things like money management.

Children are still on the road to recovery - lots of napping and coughing. The school-aged ones all went today and I am glad it is Friday. Not too much going on this week end (but a dance competition about 45 minutes away tomorrow).

Son's party is today and three of the seven can't make it - which is fine with me. Son was feeling kind of sad - til I pointed out that a smaller group can play "cooler" games like hide and seek using walkie-talkies, etc. We are tie-dying and playing wii games, etc. AND this party is totally about him, all the brothes and sisters are going over to Grandma and Grandpa's for a pizza dinner and dessert of their own. It is sometimes hard to provide a totally exclusive get together for the kids, but it worked out this time.

Well, I have a to-do list that is about six items (four musts) so I've got to tackle that starting now. I think I've got enough energy to get it all done.

Things I've learned during this string of illness:
(1) Kleenex brand tissue is best
(2) It is best to stockpile generic meds when they are on sale, they work as best as namebrand
(3) Powedered milk might be a good option to have as extra toilet paper (My mom saved me twice - once with meds/once with milk and toilet paper).
(4) If a sick child needs companionship or supervision, make him or her a bed on the floor in your bedroom. Move a matress if possible. PARENTAL SLEEP IN ONE'S OWN BED BEATS A NIGHT OF SLEEP ON THE COUCH ANY DAY!

The three school-aged ones were all healthy enough to return to school.(I've had eight school days of at least one, usually two home with me). Thank the Lord for small favors as in healthy children. I do love them but collectively as a group of sick ones that has spanned many - many - many days (first sign of illness was younger daughter's 102 temp on Saturday 10/24 - last fever of presently sick son was at midnight last night) I was feeling quite exhausted and losing my sympathy.

I slept two marathon stretches last one - the first of four hours, the next of five! Wa-hoo for rest. I did have the H1N1 vaccination yesterday with DH and the healthiest child. I was then plagued with fears that it would turn into some full-blown flu reaction. No, I'm fine. The remaining kids go Saturday 11/14, but I have to drive 20 minutes to a health clinic because there were no opening at the clinic 3 minutes from my home.

I'm shopping today at Aldi's. Not a big huge trip, but I need to get caught up on the staples. And DS's party is tomorrow (4-6:15) with five of his closest friends. Yesterday I managed to clean the basement so kids can play air hockey and pool down there in a clutter free chaos free surroundings. It was really just sorting and stacking the bins that are taken "down". I'll bake his cake and get that done. I've taken down Halloween and put up the turkeys for Thanksgiving. All in all, we really could have been living in a hovel had I not done daily clean-ups.

My errands for the day:
(1) Return books/DVDs to library
(2) Aldi's for groceries
(3) Bank for deposit - looking like this:
Vacation portion $50
DH's Corvette repair funds $500
Emergency fund portion - $10,381

Liking that - with more to be added on the 15th when the tenant pays her rent - I'll be adding $1,000 to EF and $450 to debt.

Ten days ago the sickness train pulled into my house. Hit the girls first. They now appear to have suffered the worst of it and have returned to school. The asthma symptoms are under control. Still catching up on the school work that was lost (older daughter missed 4.5 days, younger daughter missed 3 days).

Oldest son caught it next. This is his third day of missing school. His night wasn't bad, but he is still sleeping. I'm hoping he's giong to be better, just tired.

4:30 yesterday youngest son is sleeping. He only does this if he is sick. Sure enough, 102 temp. We were awake most of the night - and he now has a croup bark. I had to call the pharmacist to see if he get a supressent or expectorant. Couldn't remember that medication dance.

I remain sleep deprived. I've watched several episodes in the middle of the night on the Disney channel. I did nap yesterday for a whopping 30 minutes and had a solid stretch of sleep from 8:30 to 11:00.

My enthusiasm and excitement for illness is now gone (HA, that is sarcasm!) I've been opening the windows on various levels of the house trying to air things out. We're all still using Purrell.

The only good thing about this is we really aren't spending any money at all. No gas money because we aren't going anywhere. No one has much of an appetite so we're eating through our stash of mac and cheese and crackers and apple juice. My medication has been restocked twice by parents (no cost to us).

I have to run past the store tonight after younger DD and I go for our H1N1 flue shots. I need to buy the staples: milk, coffee, sugar, toilet paper, and C batteries (my grandfather clock has gone haywire and is bonging at all the wrong times).

When will this end?

We are HDHP folks and have just depleted the last of the company-sponsored savings account. We are now facing being responsible for Rxs 100% (medical outside of maintenance is 20%).

My oldest daughter's asthma has been giving her some difficulties lately. This is the time of year when she has typically had pneumonia (but not since getting the pneumovax two years ago). She also had a collapsed lung two years ago that was misdiagnosed by the pediatrician as pneumonia - only the pulmonologist caught it when looking at her films.

Anyhow, last Wed her peak flow numbers were down, so the pediatrician doubled her maintenance med (Flovent 110 mg) to four puffs twice a day. That means trucking through her meds at an alarming rate (160 doses are in the usual RX). The most recent refill was $125 (covered by the last of the HSA money).

The 90 day suppply through medco costs $300 offering a $75 savings overall. I don't have that right now but am planning for it in three weeks.

Next week I'll have to get one refill for $125. The "forgotten surprise money" today was $75 interest. I also got a call that for the Boy Scout wreath sales fundraising parent that I forgot $40 cash in the order envelope (they requested a personal check for the orders that paid cash). I'm up $115 so far today - feeling better about that. And my brother owes me $25 that he should pay by the end of the week.

I do suppose though that I could visit the EF for the medication. Not using credit cards anymore would necessitate a visit there, but I could always pay myself back. The budget numbers were pretty slim given my goal to stop all non-necessary spending given potential lay-off.

I do hate being a grown up. I do love being a parent, but some days it would be nice to just not worry.

I opened a second checking account at Bank of America. The incentive to do this was a $75 bonus to be deposited in 60-90 days.

There it was today. I totally forgot about it. Fun surprise.

Tomorrow is the date for our H1N1 vaccinations at the health dept. Unfortunately you need to be healthy for it because it is the live virus up the nose. Sadly, two of the inhabitants of my residence are ill and not eligible this go around. I'd like to cancel all the way around, but I figure we healthy ones should just go.

Yesterday was a NSD, today might be one as well. Still have sick kids home.

I'm trying this new thing called gratitude, recognizing the good things that I have.

My children are still sick (not the same ones) and I am worn down. I'm sleeping but not feeling very rested.

DH was gone working at my bio father's yesterday. I called over there to see if DH could pick up more kiddie ibuprofin on the way home in several hours. His GF answered the phone and was very kind and brought me some several hours earlier that DH would have. She was on her way to see her mother. I do like GF but she tolerates way too much bad behavior from bio father, and does have some psycho tendencies.

Anyhow:
(1) I am grateful that I have family/friend who will help me out when I need it. AND bio father paid for her to replenish my stash (he was an awful father, but I do give him credit for being a far better grandfather).

(2) DH was paid for October work and his savings account has $500 in it for Corvette repair in the spring.

(3) My 90 year old grandma is coming from California for the holidays - coming before Thanksgiving and going home after New Years. I wasn't sure if she would make the trip given we were out to visit in July/August. My grandpa passed away in May and I am gratfeful she is coming. I've started a list of things to do - some economical, some not. First run of "Disney's the Christmas Carol" with Jim Carrey is on the list.

I might go try to catch some more zzzs while my boys are playing Playmobil pirates in front of the TV.

We ended October with the possibility of a job loss. Not the stark reality of unemployment, rather the hazy chance of a pink slip. There is an attempt to save DH's job with a title change (removing the word "Financial" prior to analyst), and the accounting manager offered to "take" him should he be available.

I've prepared for this by discontinuing the 401K contribution that isn't matched. Should DH still be employed mid December, those funds will be redirected to my traditional IRA or our HSA for the tax advantage. I'm seeing where we can trim some fat and have come up with some ways to stretch our money: My birthday is in November and rather than a cash gift from my mom, I asked her to pay three months worth of the Y - which is about the cash equivalent of what she and my stepdad give. I've been going through my grandmother's old cookbooks from the 1940s to 1960s seeing what other options there are for cooking from scratch. I feel that if I stockup on things at Sam's club I should be able to stretch the grocery budget.

I'm very carefully going over the Christmas budget. I spent $10 on Friday at JCP to get a gift for brother's GF daughter: a cute warm lounging PJ shirt with matching slippers. On sale for $20 less $10 coupon (for registering at their website). I already have some gifts for best friend and xSIL. I think for Grandparents I'll be coming up with gift baskets of new coffee mugs, coffee purchased from son's BS Pack, homemade cookies, and maybe a grandparents ornament or something. I have a pretty good handle on the kids' gifts.

Between 5 trick or treaters, we have yielded over 1000 pieces of candy. Yikes! Far too much ...

Oldest DD is feeling better, though she only competed in two of her seven dances yesterday at a competition. DH is down with it too and he was happy to take her and the boys home after only 45 minutes. My parents showed up to see youngest DD dance and she did quite well. Only cost me $12 for one medal holder.

Oldest son is now jumping on the sick train with a temperature and a cough. He was one that was at school all week, guess he's the next sick one in the string. I'm not looking forward to more sleepless nights. Given the kids' past history with febrile seizures and midnight nebulizer treatments, I go into PTSD-anxiety mode any time I hear nighttime coughing.

Next post will include concrete goals for the month.